To the other 337 days

For those of you who were wondering, no.

There was no way I was going to let the very first day of Black History Month go by without note.

Although I must admit to something perhaps controversial: I am of dual mind about Black History Month.

No question that I love the discrete parts; the pageants, the lectures, the music, the learning more and more about our greats (and, as the years go by, with more and more candor and accuracy), the ability to wear kente every damn day if I feel led, the pride, the promise, the honoring of our ancestors on whose shoulders we stand.

But I would be lying if I didn’t acknowledge that the month is also bittersweet, and not a little bit conflicted for me. These 28 days where we and our past are celebrated and affirmed is warming, but my contented smile slips somewhat when I remember a few things.

The most obvious of which being these: even though I love these 28 days –yes, I will eat every piece of jerk, every morsel of spoonbread; I will listen to Marion and Paul and Billie and Monk (and Glasper and Bey and Rucker and Guyton) ; I will consider my wrists which are free of shackles; I will drink from water fountains once closed to my ancestors (or, more accurately in these Covid times, I will buy a cup of coffee at a coffeeshop where my ancestors were prohibited from patronizing in a city where we were once unwelcomed); I will ride the bus and sit in the front and thank Rosa (for her decades of work before the boycott as well; she wasn’t encased in glass before Montgomery); I will think of Tikka Rose and thank God she wasn’t trained by the State to rip flesh from my leg as I protested my oppression; I will sit at a lunch counter and order and savor a sundae secure in the notion that one will not be poured on my head; I will remember not remembering being 10 days old and living through the March on Washington; I will go outside and look at my trees and marvel at the lack of Strange Fruit; I will pay my mortgage today and remember the (now unenforceable) language on the deed in my desk that prohibited Negroes from buying the land on which I write this; and then.

And then I will remember that there are also another 337 days when we are surely *not* celebrated. Where, 57 years after that march, we are still vilified; where I will remember that one of us dies at the hands of the State, with or without dogs who may or may not look like Tikka Rose, on a weekly, sometimes daily basis, where, on aggregate my Black sisters still make less than 80 percent of a white woman’s pay; where there is still redlining and ‘school choice’; where, statistically, I will die earlier and sicker; where Black children in Flint will have physical, neurological, and cognitive issues, issues for which they will later be blamed, not helped, for the rest of their truncated lives because our government cares for objects more than they care about our children; I will remember all the names (Sandra), all the names (Travon), all the names (Olango), all the names (Castile) of those no longer with us to celebrate this month.

And I will remember that even as I have enjoyed the fruits of millions of other’s labor so I can drink coffee and write in serene safety and solitude, that so many of my brothers and sisters cannot. I will remember how many of us are incarcerated–the workaround of the 13th amendment–more of us are incarcerated now in 2021 than black bodies were held in chattel slavery at any one snapshot in time in the whole of that particular Peculiar Institution, as I think about the disparities in how we handled heroin in the 70’s, and crack in the 80’s, and how we deal with meth and oxy now, (such compassion and accomodation!) and ponder the, again, obvious, I stop celebrating and start mourning.

As we do this work, we need to remember that we are making Black History right now. In fact the emphasis on history, of using the past tense, of talking about the Civil Rights era as settled history, with white people doing their darndest to put a period on issues and eras that are very much extant is a tactic and a flex.

One that I am not at all sure I want to affirm or endorse or collude with. We find ourselves in this space together; we find ourselves walking together here at Lace on Race because the work is still crucial.

And unfinished.

The past is not even the past. How will we talk about Black History Month here in this space? At the takeout window (the Facebook Page)? At the Bistro? In the Dining Rooms?

Welp.

With hopeful, but with very clear eyes.

With acknowledgement of progress made, but in the same breath, acknowledgement of the work that still needs to be done.

It is good that our now three year old community will be baptized in the waters of BHM.

But baptism in our communal mikvah is not the period at the end of a sentence.

It is a renewal, a new beginning, a new commitment to grow and change and do better, by the people we stand with, with our compatriots in this space here, and out in the world.

Black History Month, yes.

And also Black Here and Now For The Rest Of Our Lives. The only way to truly celebrate.

To the other 337 days.

With Love,

Your Lace


15 responses to “To the other 337 days”

  1. Kerri Fowlie Avatar
    Kerri Fowlie

    Another beautiful, sensitive piece from Lace. As usual, she provides a lot of food for thought.
    Especially poignant to me is the idea of the linearity with which we view time. We think in terms of change and progression and ‘moving on’. I never appreciated before reading Lace’s words, that this seemingly benign view of ‘past’ can be wielded so fiercely against the cause of anti-racism, even though I see it daily with accusations of ‘playing the race card’ and ‘reverse racism,’ etc. which are common enough online as to dull my senses to their absolute denial of harm and accountability.

    Maybe instead of seeing history as linear, I need to think of it how I teach plot in my creative writing classes: we retell the same story themes over and over again. Christopher Booker said that there are only 7 story lines: overcoming the monster, rags to riches, the quest, voyage and return, comedy, tragedy and rebirth. The themes might be unchanging, but the characters are. The measure of the story is in the journey of the character through the theme: do they seek the light of learning? Do they get up and start again when they fail? Do they inspire?

    Maybe Black History Month offers an annual opportunity for the next generation of ‘characters’ to focus learning on the ‘characters’ who preceded them in acting through these old themes. Every generation has a chance to learn better lessons from our accumulated human experience, depending on how we preserve and continue the narrative. Maybe, just as I have been learning to see that my ‘white’ colour is not neutral and that racism is almost part of my DNA, I have to embrace the fact that history isn’t parcelled into completed blocks, but is about our continual human rebirthing, breathing the same oxygen molecules as our ancestors and replaying life’s themes, but hopefully, using the lessons from the people who played these stories out before, enabling each reiteration (like me) to act these themes out in new ways: ways that lessen and mitigate the harm done to successive Black and Brown people or anyone deemed an ‘other’ in our societies.

  2. Valerie Polichar Avatar
    Valerie Polichar

    I should say, this is not intended to suggest that “Black History Month” ISN’T necessary right now. It’s just that (again, in my current view) it’s below the minimum necessary.

  3. Valerie Polichar Avatar
    Valerie Polichar

    I continue to wrestle with thoughts that “Black History Month” is both insufficient and that it should not be necessary. Insufficient for white people to grasp the full richness of history, because who could learn the extent of the white history we learned _all through our school days_ in a single month once a year, when we’re paying attention? And of course, Black history is at least as extensive as white history. “Shouldn’t be necessary” because in a just world, history education would not be so deeply white-biased/centered. Every time I see an attempt to mitigate this, it’s in the form of “insert this one BIPOC story into the context of a massively white-centered narrative/perspective.” We still haven’t properly recentered our education system. And that (again, in my current thinking) has profound and damaging influence throughout our culture.

  4. Valerie Polichar Avatar
    Valerie Polichar

    I really feel what you’re saying here. I can sort of look back to different versions of myself as various veils were pulled from my eyes. I feel like I still have some veils to pull, but I am trying to do what I can with my current understanding. Sometimes I wince at last year’s mistakes, but obviously standing on the sidelines is not an option.

  5. Dee (Dalina) Weinfurtner Avatar
    Dee (Dalina) Weinfurtner

    Thank you for sharing this here as the kick off of Black History Month. I hear and see your Black joy and grief as I learn more about you and your story. I love the idea that we use this time in Black History Month for the renewing of our goals and intentions on our journey towards the North Star. To be in this paradox of seeing how much progress has been made yet there is so much work to be done, your note perfectly describes this space. Here we are, in living history. To have continued awareness of those Black leaders around us making history and also to those White conspirators who are shaking it all up for the goal of racial justice. Where do I stand? I am writing my own story. I actually think about this a lot. Where will my legacy fall or even where the legacy of my children? Moving past my discomfort now will be worth it as I create my legacy of healing and change. I am not interested in centering myself on this but I think it is ok to recognize where I am making positive changes too, while also recongizing what changes I need to make to continue to grow. In order to break the toxic white supremacist legacy of my own family’s history, I need to stay vigilant, contstantly do the work. Well, I am looking forward to this month and expanding all that I know about Black History and how it relates to the current Black context.

  6. Jessie Lee Avatar
    Jessie Lee

    I love the imagery of baptism here, and the symbolism it holds of renewal, commitment, and new beginnings. I’m reminded of the baptisms I’ve seen/participated in, and their focus on community effort and community-wide mentoring.

    I’m also reminded of the recent piece on Beloved Community- specifically the balance of this moment in history as galvanizing and sobering.

    I think about my responsibility to locate myself and my practice in the context of Black history in the making. My job as an educator is to celebrate progress, represent Black Joy as well as racial injustice, and model healthy and honest ways of confronting my part as a white person. I can acknowledge my potential to be a secondary trauma or corrective experience, and I can teach white students under my care how to recognize hallmarks of each and choose daily to be the latter.

    The weight of this responsibility is sobering as I look back and notice how long it’s taken to reach even this place where a Black woman can celebrate this Black History Month by marveling at the lack of Strange Fruit on her tree and drinking freely at a water fountain or getting a coffee and appreciating the ancestors who fought for these opportunities they never got to enjoy for themselves.

    The sobering reflections of past galvanize me for present and future. I wonder if our ancestors- Black and white- ever considered themselves as actively making history. I wonder if they thought about the legacy they’d leave behind as ancestors. This is what galvanizes me: the examples of the past and the opportunity right now to shape the future, just as all of our ancestors did. All of my ancestors had the same choices I face now: corrective experience, or secondary trauma. Participate in moving the stone and sewing my part of the tapestry, or blocking the progress of the movers and seamstresses.

  7. Rebecca McClinton Avatar
    Rebecca McClinton

    The picture you paint here was is so vivid, of all the daily things Black and brown lives have paid for dearly, things white people like me will never know or understand the full extent of (but like to think we do). I must hold together, the pain and violence my ancestors caused and pain they continue to cause if I don’t hold them and myself (and the systems we operate in) to account, as you said, “in the same breath.”
    (cross posted to face book)

  8. Jennifer Crane (she/her) Avatar
    Jennifer Crane (she/her)

    I’m thinking now about how white people like me are so happy to share quotes from dead Black men, ignoring the very real, living, Black and brown people fighting for their liberation. We do the same thing with Black History Month–especially with how it is taught in schools. We put past events in front of children to show them how much better life is today than it used to be. We don’t use this remembering to inform the traumas of the present.

  9. Jennifer Crane (she/her) Avatar
    Jennifer Crane (she/her)

    I am grateful for the liminality–the both/and. I have been processing so much from the MLK Jr posts that I have done my first read/listen through. I have no doubt that the coming content for Black History Month will similarly challenge me to think in new ways and ask better questions. It’s an ongoing learning that should never stop.

  10. Emily Holzknecht Avatar
    Emily Holzknecht

    *crossposted* Responding to history being made here and now. We are not Black, but what white people do is also part of Black history. If white people had done differently all these hundreds of years, Black history would be very different. We cannot claim any Black victories as our own though we can celebrate them, and we can work every day to influence the Black victories of the present and future.

  11. Shannon Thomas Avatar
    Shannon Thomas

    “Black Here and Now For The Rest Of Our Lives.” Thank you so much for the work you do. I am glad to be here learning and growing. Part of my committing to participate and financially engage on this site comes from wanting to completely move away from the “historical” mindset and into a “present tense” mindset. Before Ferguson I actually believed we were just dealing with traces of racism left over after a civil rights era fixed things. In the years since I have reeducated away from this understanding and have a clearer (still clarifying) picture of how racism is playing out in our culture and within me. I do not want to step in and out of social justice work, racism education and action. I aim to stabilize “here and now for the rest of my life” in this work.

  12. Christina Sonas Avatar
    Christina Sonas

    The origins of Black History Month within Black culture, in the 20s and reinvigorated in the 70s, is obscured by the embellishments of a rapacious white culture that does whatever it deems necessary to keep the Black experience isolated and diminished. Putting a fence around it in February does a masterful job of hiding from white people what you call “Black Here and Now For The Rest Of Our Lives”. White people won’t see Black History Month when we read of future Oscars and Breonnas and Erics and Sandras, any more than we see the original Oscar and Breonna and Eric and Sandra right now as we glance through Black history for the year.

    As a white person, I can serve by pulling down this fence between myself and my white connections and the real truth and nature of Black history.

  13. Emily Holzknecht Avatar
    Emily Holzknecht

    I have thought in the past about how Black history is taught as if Black liberation is complete and in the past. I have thought about what about the other 337 days. I had not thought about how Black History Month itself can make it seem like Black liberation is complete and in the past. February is not an excuse to think only about the past and act as if liberation is not still unfolding and as if Black people are one dimensional and will cease to exist and cease to make history once liberation is complete. February is not an excuse to not think about Black history, Black liberation and Black 3 dimensionality the rest of the year. I am sure February at Lace on Race will be rich. And the rest of the year at Lace on Race will be rich too, just like Black history and the fight for Black liberation and Black 3 dimensional lives are rich all year around.

  14. Vicki Avatar
    Vicki

    I want to honor the work you’ve done here. It’s beautiful and full of love. And pain. And joy. And sorrow. I want to contribute to the love and the joy more than the pain and sorrow. I have to learn how to do that.

    I resonate with the idea that history is being made right here and right now. If I want it to be different than the past, *I* must be different. That’s what I love about what we do here. The change begins in my own heart and ripples out to everyone else, especially those on the margins. The goal is to *lessen* and *mitigate*, not be perfectly safe at all times. In the time I’ve spent here, I’ve realized that I can do better than I’ve done. I will have new opportunities to make different choices. I can’t be perfect, but I can be better.

  15. Michelle Wicks Cypher Avatar
    Michelle Wicks Cypher

    So much in your words. So much truth. So much hope. So much pain. Sp much uncertainty and so much determination. I know my own mixed feelings around Black History Month, for the reasons you discuss, so I can imagine how much more it is bittersweet to you and other Black people. I appreciate that we take time to acknowledge the many ways Blacks have contributed to our society, to the arts, the sciences, the business, the politics, the every day life all around us. I appreciate learning things that are not taught those other 337 days. I do not appreciate the fact that this is not all woven into US history as it is OUR history (and our present). There should not be a need for a separate month, but until it truly is a part of our daily stories, a part of our daily truth – the good and the ugly, I see the need for Black History Month. But more, I see the need to do the work so there is no longer the need for this month. Some of that work is my walking here with Lace and her team and my fellow walkers. Some of that work is actively taking action to make the policy changes required to make US history accurate and reflect OUR history – all of ours, not just mainly wealthy white males, followed by other white people thrown in here and there. The changes to acknowledge the the oppression caused by white people, like me, and white supremacy, both in the past and in the present. The changes necessary to stop that oppression and to provide reparations for the oppression and the effects of that oppression. I am here to do my part to continue to focus on the North Star and reduce the harm that I cause and work to reduce the harm caused by the systems that I benefit from.

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