[Vicki van den Eikhof]

https://laceonrace.com/2022/02/05/vickis-hope-vision-2022/

Vicki’s Hope & Vision 2022

Discussion

[Rebecca McClinton]

<font color=”#000000″ face=”Helvetica” size=”3″>Definitely resonating with Vicki’s words about seeing ‘healing akin to fixing’ and the tangle that brings, that as Vicki describes so well, represents only my own discomfort and wanting to get rid of that discomfort and in accordance with my views of what’s right. Healing takes time, takes leaning in, slowing down, listening, not quick-fix patching. </font>

<font color=”#000000″ face=”Helvetica” size=”3″>I also really like how Vicki speaks to intent versus impact, and how easy it is to think that others are experiencing what I do in a way they are not. That’s been a big part of my learning in regards to racial justice that I still have more work addressing. It goes with what she’s saying about thinking I’m right.</font>Definitely resonating with Vicki’s words about seeing ‘healing akin to fixing’ and the tangle that brings, that as Vicki describes so well, represents only my own discomfort and wanting to get rid of that discomfort and in accordance with my views of what’s right. Healing takes time, takes leaning in, slowing down, listening, not quick-fix patching.

I also really like how Vicki speaks to intent versus impact, and how easy it is to think that others are experiencing what I do in a way they are not. That’s been a big part of my learning in regards to racial justice that I still have more work addressing. It goes with what she’s saying about thinking I’m right.

<font color=”#000000″ face=”Helvetica” size=”3″> </font>

[Lace Watkins]

That’s something I have to think a lot about too; those of us with strong convictions–and particularly convictions hard won, sometimes forget the journey, the tough journey–that it took to get to where we are now.

[Rebecca McClinton]

I’m thinking about how you referenced your ancestors as well in your recent ‘Elephants in the Living Room’ video, and their strong conviction and action, and how when we leave there will be those after us and we will be their ancestors paving a pathway for them.

[Vicki van den Eikhof]

It’s so easy to forget how I used to be and judge others for being the same way I was not so long ago. I’m really working to strengthen a developmental mindset that recognizes progress as the thing to pursue, and trusting that when progress is pursued whole-heartedly, with Hesed, that the end goal will eventually be reached. Who I am while I’m working toward the goal is who I am, and that’s the thing I can work on.

[Jessie Lee]

When you talked about how healing is an act of faith, it reminded me of something I heard early on here: that entitlement hates risk. When I clench and resist taking that risk of learning how to heal another, I’m acting from entitlement. I’m entitling myself to my comfort, which I can only have by another’s pain. I’m entitling myself to perpetual toddlerhood, in which I refuse to understand how I’ve inflicted the very wounds I’m attempting to cover with bandaids (and then is my purpose really to heal or to hide the evidence?) I’m entitling myself to harming others while pretending I’m trying to heal. I like how you point out that to be healers we must learn how we are seen by those we say we want to heal. I’m going to focus on that this week.

[Vicki van den Eikhof]

Faith is always a risk, isn’t it? What if I’m wrong? But also, what if I’m right?

I’ll never learn how to do better if I don’t take the risk of being wrong; accept responsibility when I am wrong; and engage in the process of doing better.

[Emily Holzknecht]

I am thinking about how fixing is something we do to inanimate objects and how healing is the word we use with living things. Also mostly inanimate things can’t fix themselves (I’m hearing a quote here from the movie “Brazil”). Fixing has to be done to them. But living things do have at least some capacity to heal themselves. And sometimes being a healer is just creating the conditions that allow the living thing to heal itself. Healing is much less something you do TO something else. Creating the conditions that allow for healing definitely, as you say, requires stopping the wounding. Where am I still dehumanizing people and seeing myself as the fixer rather than supporting the creation of conditions where healing can occur?

[Vicki van den Eikhof]

I love this insight and to be honest, I hadn’t thought this deeply about the difference between fixing and healing. But you’re right, fixing is something people do to inanimate objects. Healing is something we engage in with living beings. It is relational by definition. Being a proficient healer is only possible when I’m proficient at relationships.

[Vicki van den Eikhof]

Perhaps it would be better to say that effective healing, long-lasting healing, deep healing, only happens in relationship. With myself, with others, with the community of living things.

[Rhonda Freeman]

and healing often leaves a scar and that’s ok. It is the scars that remind us. It is the scars that show us where we have come from and where others have been wounded. It doesn’t matter how the wound happened. I don’t have to ask, I only need to ask if additonal balm is needed and attempt to not add more pain.

[Author]

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