[Lace Watkins]

https://laceonrace.com/2021/08/18/the-six-tenets-a-re-introduction/

The Six Tenets – A Re-Introduction

Discussion

[Rhonda Freeman]

This as I consider my walk with LoR and regret not engaging in the Bistro as often as I have in the past. This as I speak out more often and more clearly about this space at a community meeting on social activism. This as I mourn a dissolving marriage. This as I commit to keep walking and walking.

[Rebecca McClinton]

I appreciate all the both/and’s you speak to here…the holding of public and private lives and conversations, the areas ‘to do better’ with the areas ‘doing better’. It reminds me how in a orchard all 4 seasons are needed for different reasons, and in different ways, as each layer of the trunk is created telling important growth stories of the journey along the way.

[Rhonda Freeman]

Rebecca, your response is meaningful. I sighed tonight realizing that 4,000 of 24,000 prisoners that were released during COVID for humanitarian reasons to server out their sentences at home may end up being sent back to prison. Then, I did some research, found the ACLU list and sent my message to the president. A small act, but an act none the less. I did not see that weed growing until today, but I did see it and I did not let it keep growing. You are right. Seasons, seeing, continued weeding.

[Rebecca McClinton]

Such a great on-point example of taking robust action in the moment it happens. others like you sharing those types of examples always helps me open my eyes wider, pay more attention, and respond more robustly. I’m also sick hearing that about folks being reincarcerated…that’s not ok.

[Shara Cody]

I appreciate this example of being reflexive by taking action and doing it as soon as you find out, Rhonda.

[Christin Spoolstra]

@rebecca Thank you for the addition of the varied purposes of the seasons. That though some seasons may not be what we want, they serve their purpose as part of the whole. That must shore up our relentless reliability in anti racism work. To know that winter is coming, that this work will not always be easy, that we will slip on ice and our toes and nose and fingers will freeze and we’ll fumble, to know that in advance so we prepare and are ready to not miss a step.

[Shannon Brescher Shea]

That’s such a good point about how all four seasons are needed for different reasons. Too often, I try to do everything all at once and then can’t do any of it well. It’s better to follow the seasons and have them shift over time than burn out. Like Lace says, we want to be slow-cookers rather than woks.

[Lace Watkins]

You saw the weed. That is noteworthy. And you course corrected; that is courageous.

[Julia Tayler]

I have the same feelings and can identify. This season has been challenging but it has been for everyone. I need to recommit – no matter what season it is.

[Rebecca McClinton]

So good re-reading the four tenets, it was like for the first time. “Risk-averse is my middle name.” Yep, yep, that’s me alright, wanting to see the blueprints, the fruits rather than tending and investing in that sapling that will soon enough create them. Focusing on outcomes is what makes genetically modified fruit. How do I imagine my own individual orange tree? An adolescent tree, up here in Everson, WA, trunk standing straight, but wobbly, lost a few leaves to some deer and some leaves parched from lack of watering/tending, but stubborn as hell and determined to continue growing thicker. Before walking here, it was a tree with a little ‘t’, one that tried to fit in the crowd and not stand out, that tired too easily. I saw it, but wasn’t sure what to do about it, needed instruction, correction, guidance. The exact thing I’ve found here so I know how to better tend it…the soil that works, how to not over/under water, the daily tending, pulling the weeds, and also giving room and space to grow. I’m so glad LoR didn’t fold that year or two ago. It’s, exactly what’s helped me lean in, dig deep, plant roots, grow in, grow up, grow out.

[Rhonda Freeman]

Yeah, me, too, Rebecca. So glad this organization did not fold. My life would not be the same without it and I know that much harm that I could have done to brown and black people has been mitigated by what I have learned here.

[Julia Tayler]

I like your picture of your stubborn little tree. I think my tree is similar.

[Jessie Lee]

Before I began my walk, my orange tree wasn’t exactly dormant, but it certainly wasn’t growing and thriving. I think my heart was fertile and ready to embrace racial justice and relational ethics; my mind and gut were behind. There were stirrings of green, straining for light and water, but I didn’t pay enough attention to them or have a durable root system to nurture my tree and support growth. I did not have discipline. So no, definitely did not run for the compost. Instead I distracted myself with other things, I think in an effort to numb the niggling dissonance inside telling me I was called to do and be more. It’s easy to shove that dissonance down as a solo actor… not so much when you’re part of a whole community, a whole grove of orange trees at varying stages of growth. This community of new people doing new things in new ways is everything. So excited for us to revisit the tenets and integrate these new ones together.

[Christin Spoolstra]

Yes! Community brings accountability. We Walk further together. So happy to be walking with you, Jessie.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by  Christin Spoolstra.

[Christina Sonas]

I like your extension of the metaphor into that of a not-quite-dormant tree. Before Lace on Race, I was a well-read racist. I can visualize this as being a showy tree that produces lots of twigs and leaves, but doesn’t set fruit and, like you said, doesn’t have good roots.

[Valerie Polichar]

OMG, this is a perfect term, Christina: “well-read racist.” I am working on converting my knowledge of what behaviors are less damaging into actual new behaviors.

[Christina Sonas]

It’s Lace’s term! I’m pretty sure it’s in the Vox article.

[Lace Watkins]

Indeed it is! I will link it below.

https://www.vox.com/2020/6/3/21278165/george-floyd-protests-social-media-blackouttuesday-lace-watkins-on-race-interview

[Kelsi Watters]

Yes, “risk-averse is my middle name too. I really hear this. People always call me brave and courageous but then again, there are people who think I’m brave and taking a risk just by walking in the building. But that’s normal for me, that’s not a risk. What is a risk for me is confrontation, speaking out, taking on something if I am uncertain how things will unfold. That’s tough for me. I have a hard time getting past my Type A anxiety of living in uncertainty and risk. That continues to be a risk for me.

[Christina Sonas]

I appreciate your personalization: that the risks are different for each of us, and therefore we each have very particular skill sets to learn and develop.

[Valerie Polichar]

I’m still in the process of trying to turn from rocky soil into a decent ground. It does feel like every time I’ve absorbed a new nutrient/idea/teaching about my own behavior, I discover a new one to work on. My monitor bristles with sticky-note reminders! So I’m still a seedling, stunted a few times but still reaching for the sun and trying to be part of a solid forest.

[Rhonda Freeman]

Valerie, I completely resonate with how you are feeling here. One of the benefits I have gotten from a consistent walk is getting used to that constant feeling of discomfort as I turn over a new rock and see a new place where I need/want/am committed to rooting out my embedded white supremacy. I am telling you that twice in just the last two days I caught myself saying something in white circles that were – well – the nice term is ‘microagression’. The word I would use is ‘gross’. I felt uncomfortable, but I caught ’em and called myself out and in!

[Valerie Polichar]

Yes, definitely a constant pebble in the shoe. It’s so easy to let that feeling of discomfort make me back away from self-confrontation. Recently I learned about the way in which supervisors police the style of written language used by staff. As an inveterate editor, I at first bristled, and wanted to say “but we support faculty, we have to use a certain style when we deal with them.” But then realized how much I do this when it is not necessary. It’s always defensive first, then self-correcting. Two steps forward, one back…

[Rhonda Freeman]

Congratulations on the one step forward. It counts!

[Jessie Lee]

Valerie, I’m glad the self correcting follows your defensiveness! I still get that bubbling up of defensiveness, and that feeling itself is a cue to pay attention and get curious why it’s there. It’s also a cue to take myself and my justifications out of it as much as I can and think about how I’ve impacted another instead.

[Clare Steward]

I definitely get a niggling feeling when I realize I’ve acted in a harmful way and those signals help me correct my behavior. As I focus on being intentional each day and implementing the tools I’ve learned to be a safer person I notice that I can catch harmful thoughts before they play out effectively preventing harm before I inflict it. I’m Growing In.

[Danielle Holcombe]

One thing that I have noticed is that when I view new nuggets of learning as separate things to work on, I start to almost format them as a checklist and start crossing them off. Something really clicked for me one day when I understood them way several of my ingrained habits were all dehumanizing in different ways, or were doing the exact opposite of facilitating and growing connection. Then it seemed each time I learned a new nugget or heard something differently for the first time, I was able to put it in place sort of like a puzzle piece and start to put together the ways that each of my habits were severing instead of growing connection with others around me.

[Valerie Polichar]

That’s a beautiful way to put it. I’m going to try to think about it in this way.

[Clare Steward]

I am so excited to revisit the tenants and to explore the 2 new ones. There have been too many times I tended only to my tree and did not contribute to the health of the orchard and still, the women in this community kept a watchful eye to make sure my tree did not wither and die when I was withdrawn. This is the perfect day to recommit to this community up front and not just behind the scenes. It is not the reponsibility of the community to prompt and prod me although I am forever grateful for the support. I own the work and the committment, no one else…..it is on me to hold as I have been held and to continue walking forward after any stumbles. The North Star has always been firmly in my sight because of the strong roots I have planted with LoR and the community here. Work can not be done soley in isolation. I have teetered from responsible distance to withrdaw which is a losing strategy so I am Leaning back in and ready to Dig Deep. I truly believe that community is key. I commit to contributing to and nourishing the orchard.

Before LoR, I think I thought my tree would thrive on it’s own without constant work and attention. I expected it to bear an abundance of fruit simply because it existed. I know now that is not true and there is so much to learn and unlearn. There is much to tear apart and rebuild. Tending to the orchard is not a passive experience, it is taking action every single day. I know now that it is not about the fruit I reap but the fruit I share.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by  Clare Steward.

[Kelsi Watters]

Clare- So much of what you said resonated with me here. I, too, have not been as much of a steady presence in the Cafe. There have been times where I have withdrawn, not tended to my tree as attentively, yet the women in this community continued to lovingly sustain my tree, and I am humbled by this. It is not something I feel I deserve, yet it “warms and galvanizes me” as Lace would say. I am inspired and recommitted “to hold as I have been held”, “to continue moving forward even when I stumble” – yes! I, too, once thought my tree would blossom and bear fruit just because I spoke it into being. It is only when I started truly engaging, that I came to the painful, uncomfortable realization that my tree was barely a sapling – and only then, when I realized how much my tree had yet to grow, and where it needed to be pruned, did the real growth begin. I also want to challenge myself not to become so self-focused on my own tree, that I do not engage the daily practice of sustaining the orchard. It is all part of the work. It’s hard, and beautiful. Maybe together we can Lean In to our potential to grow up (our own tree) sustain the orchard, and Grow Out.

[Clare Steward]

Thank you Kelsi. I look forward to continuing to walk together. I really appreciate your thoughtful comments .

[Shara Cody]

@Clare you said “I expected it to bear an abundance of fruit simply because it existed” and this resonates with me so much in thinking “I’m a good person” and that my thoughts and intentions provide actual nutrients; also in the way inaction is harmful. I’m glad to be walking with you.

[Vicki van den Eikhof]

More meaningful imagery! There are many references to trees, nurturing them, and eating the fruit they produce in my sacred texts. Planting and nurturing a tree is an act of faith. It takes years to get any fruit. Years of dedication. Even trees bearing good fruit can get old and sick. Then you have to find treatments, or graft in new branches to get better fruit.

The work of anti-racism, relational ethics, and treating addictions, are long-term processes. They require me to have faith in unseen outcomes before I will engage in the work. The thing that keeps me engaged, even when outcomes might be in doubt, is community. We practice and practice and get feedback in real time on how we are caring for our trees. Then we have our lunch break and enjoy each other’s company while we re-charge.

The week of Lace’s birthday is such a time-communing together, to strengthen each other for the work ahead. Happy Birthday, Lace!

[Kelsi Watters]

Hi Vicki! I like what you shared here. The work of antiracism takes time – years and years, and perhaps a lifetime! It is not a button or a checklist – it is a lengthy, deep process of cultivating change little by little, within and around us. Sometimes we will plant seeds and may never see the tangible fruits, but we plant them anyway out of faith. Sometimes we may begin to see the fruits, and with that, feel our hope grow. But more often than not, this work requires faith to sustain us, as you said. Faith, community, and hope. We keep walking and sustain one another.

[Rebecca McClinton]

‘It takes years to get any fruit…years of dedication.’ Yes! We recently planted an apple tree in the neighborhood park in memory of a neighbor that passed. One element of nurturing I learned from the very kind and gracious arborist who was assisting novice me with the purchase was about cross pollination and how the apple tree won’t bear fruit unless other trees are present in a certain vicinity where the bees can cross pollinate them. That lead to talking to neighbors to seeing who had trees around that bloom at similar times. Way more involved than I’d imagined! Then a day after I planted it a neighbor told me the deer were very much enjoying it’s luscious leaves and then I learned all about safe deer repellant sprays. But that’s just the thing with this work…it takes community (cross pollination!), and ongoing learning (eg: how to ask for accountability with kind candor) to make it work. At first that frustrated me, re: the tree and regarding this work (want to be an expert right off of course!), but it’s that struggle that makes the work morrow deep.

[Jessie Lee]

I love this anecdote, Rebecca. We are so much stronger and better together. And I totally share that want to be an expert right off. Community helps keep that in check too– being interdependent. Knowing and accepting I don’t have all the answers and need to lean on others as no one person has all the answers either.

[Lace Watkins]

One of the three hardest words for me used to be, ‘I Don’t Know’.

I would do just about anything to avoid having to utter those words, up to and including lying about what I did know.

Just like admitting my white supremacy was the first step towards dismantling it, so it is with ‘I Don’t Know’.

The moment I acknowledge my unknowing, the more I can begin to know.

[Jessie Lee]

I’m thinking about the image of that spindly orange tree. I enjoy gardening, and it amazes me how quickly plants can wither when neglected. Especially in chemical-free gardening and during difficult conditions, even when I feel like I’ve watered and weeded “enough” for my plants to continue thriving, in no time at all leaves can wither and droop, insects can feast, and weeds can pop up and choke out not just my orange tree, but others. On the flip side of this, I’ve been amazed at some of the comebacks I’ve seen plants after being on their last leg (or spindly stem, as it were). Those comebacks took a long time, discipline, curiosity, and steady reliability. And there was no finish point. Even after a full recovery, a plant can and will wither when neglected, no matter how healthy it was. So it is with my praxis. It can weaken and wither so much more easily and quickly than it’s built up, and its health yesterday doesn’t protect it from being overtaken today or tomorrow.

[Christin Spoolstra]

Yes, nurturing our orange tree is “an unending task” (shout out to The Good Place!); I must be constantly working on my praxis or my ethos will spoil.

[Shannon Brescher Shea]

The image of regrowing really strikes me, as I keep watching my tomato plants fruit, seemingly die, and then have more grow where the others died back. I think there’s a lesson to be learned in cultivating soil so it allows those unintended seeds to plant themselves, even when we don’t realize that they’re there.

[Shara Cody]

The seeds you’ve thrown did go right to my heart and soul, Lace, and I want to nurture my tree as you nurture yours in the orchard. I feel the way that Lace’s mentors are so excited to see her and beam with confidence in her in the way Lace looks to community members and invites us to the orchard- I don’t know if that’s leaning in or just love, maybe it’s both, but I feel it and I want to reflect it back and out.

I picture my orange tree as a sapling among trees of all different sizes in the orchard including lots of space that’s ready to prepare for planting more trees. Before I started walking I didn’t have a tree at all but crusted under a thick layer of white supremacy I had soil that was ready to be worked. I think I’ve had to plant roots to fully lean in and I have to keep doing both over and over in the recommitment. Growing up feels like the hardest step right now because trying to put it all together inside and outside of me to be the person I want to be feels like propping the tree up with whatever I can find as Lace described in the post. Sharing through growing out sounds like courage and confidence and I love that Lace pushes us to grow out through the guidelines of LoR and her encouragement no matter what stage our tree is.

[Jen Scaggs]

Your orange tree has certainly grown into something impressive. It’s really cool to think of how many seeds you have spread. Even if they didn’t take root and grow in the orchard next to your tree, maybe they were carried for a while in the wind or on a bird and eventually took root and started to grow. Although you can’t see it personally, it’s nice to know the impact you had is out there somewhere. My personal orange tree is still very feeble and needs a lot of nurturing. Sometimes I forget to water it regularly, sometimes it gets choked out by other plants and weeds, but it always comes back and it keeps trying to thrive!

Your essay was beautiful! I’m glad you have those women in your life.

[Christin Spoolstra]

The risk of true eye to eye relationship is what is standing out to me as we revisit the tenets. And what opening myself to that risk means not just for me but for the whole orchard. While sometimes I struggle in visual metaphors, the orange tree has been one that has supported and pushed me along in LoR and my broader anti racism work. I think of @emily ’s comments about guerrilla gardening and spreading my seeds everywhere I can. I think if @Christina in her literal garden giving it daily maintenance. I think of @laceonrace sitting in the shade of this orange tree that she has nurtured. I think of all of us bearing fruit. The risk, though, is real. To lean in in order to plant roots, we must be vulnerable. To have and learn from mentors, we must be truly seen. A year ago I still struggled to understand what a sustaining community was but I have been blessed by the women in leadership, by their hesed hearts of support and challenging. There is no other place I’d rather plant and grow myself. I’m honored to be a part of this orchard.

[Grace Bannerman]

On this reading, I’m drawn to the relationships between individual and collective growth – the need for discipline and work and faith in order to nurture one’s own tree, alongside appreciation for mentorship from other people and the opportunity to share with others in turn. The orchard depends on having individual trees. Pivoting to race, working individually and collectively can encompass all kinds of dynamics to be acknowledged and thoughtfully navigated, e.g. how white people can talk to other white people about race without behaving as an unasked-for spokesperson for Black or brown people. Sharing what I learn about racial equity more often/in different ways is one area for me to individually work on.

The part about faith in the future tree and the promise of what may come (if work is done in the present) is also motivating.

[Christina Sonas]

As an at-home mother, it was frequently driven home to me that our culture values immediate production results, and not the long term. Alongside this, it demands constant and repetitive production without respite. While both of these strategies exist in the natural world — species reproducing as quickly as possible; honeybees going out and back, out and back, unceasingly — they are not the only strategies for growth. We shouldn’t have to “strain to see with interior eyes“; this skill should instead be nurtured in us as we grow, and be a strong resource we regularly tap into as adults. We should be able to appreciate, even embrace, a slow and lengthy unfolding. I’m looking forward to diving into the now–six tenets!

[Nicole Larson]

This is beautiful.

Yes, both commitment and betrayal are part of life, and it is hard to cherish the one and not grow bitter and cold over the other–I have been there too. It is especially painful when the betrayal comes from a close friend, a family member, or–perhaps worst–a spouse or other “significant other.” And it must be especially hard when one is a BIPOC and thought the betrayer was someone who had one’s back.

The fact that you have turned the pain into understanding and a commitment to trust all of us is a very big deal. I promise to do my best to never cause you and this community pain, let alone betrayal.

Thank you Lace.

As a humorous note, I too love oranges as a snack! I now see them and the trees that bear them as an analogy to growth and love.

[Julia Tayler]

This was very illuminating. I have a hard time trusting and I’m really invested in trying to acknowledge that but open myself up to new adventures (people, places, ideas – all of it). I’m extremely “risk adverse” also.

I see my orange tree as requiring my attention. I, too, have been guilty of planting something and then forgetting it exists. Especially in the last 18 months. There have been so many other areas to focus on. Prioritizing my focus and walking.

I look forward to reading the six tenants!

[Emily Holzknecht]

Such a great reminder to take the time and put in the work to grow strong roots so that even when we experience times of difficulty, the roots are there to allow the tree to grow back the first chance it has. Being relentlessly reliable both serves the North star immediately and helps to develop those strong roots. Relationships also develop strong roots. And, as Lace says, relational ethics develops strong roots too.

[Shannon Brescher Shea]

Yes! The relentless reliability is like developing a muscle. It makes your reactions be more generous rather than cynical, more giving rather than hoarding, more trusting rather than bitter.

[Shannon Brescher Shea]

Your description of the betrayals and frustration really resonated with me. I haven’t had that level of betrayal as an adult, but a lot of bad experiences with friends (especially as a kid) have led me to feel that way at various times. Perhaps never as much when it comes to social change. I know I often long to sink into cynicism or bitterness or even apathy. “Why do I have to feel so much?!” I wonder sometimes.

<font face=”inherit”>But I also know that it’s privileged that I even get to think such thoughts – if I was regularly hurt by racism and white supremacy in the </font>ways that Black people are<font face=”inherit”>, that thought wouldn’t even be possible. In a way, it’s also a privilege to think that I can get by on my own, distrusting people. Choosing to reject community out of fear and bitterness is its own kind of privilege. </font>

<font face=”inherit”>It’s only by turning back towards that </font>North<font face=”inherit”> Star that I can remind myself of how essential community is. How essential trust is to </font>this work. How my work quickly becomes more harmful than helpful if I try to do it alone.

[Shannon Brescher Shea]

Hm, not sure what happened with the weird fonts above. I realized reading the other responses that I forgot to describe my orange tree. I had been thinking about social and racial justice for some time before coming to Lace on Race, so I think it was small but growing slowly. This community has helped me water and compost it, helping it grow at a steady and sustainable rate and make it stronger rather than burning out.

[Author]

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