[Lace Watkins]

https://laceonrace.com/2021/01/18/the-beloved-community/

The Beloved Community

Discussion

[Clare Steward]

Thank you for your thought- provoking essay, Lace and yes, very galvanizing words. I reaffirm my commitment to having the capacity, agency, and volition to work towards racial equity.

I see and have displayed the predictable cycles of outrage followed by apathy that are displayed by white people as a whole. We come in hot with outrage and shock when there are overt displays of racism being broadcast on our screens and then the flame flickers out and dies down resulting in no real movement towards policy reform or even accountability for those who have committed horrific acts of violence. We shout at the top of our lungs….or most likely, post post post on social media and then rest on laurels feeling good about how we vocalized our disapproval of what “the other” has done, never daring to hold up the mirror to see how we are responsible for harmful and violent behaviors personally and as a collective as they play out in our systems and institutions on endless repeat. It all dies down again until the next overt outrage wakes us back up. Or, as I have done, we feel overwhelmed by the enormity of the issues and feel helpless to make any change or we recognize that for the change to be happen, it takes us giving up power and wealth and all of the benefits that come with being white in America. We….I talk a big game but when it comes down to it, am I willing to do the work, own the issues, give freely and without reservation and fight for policy change that supports equity? In the meantime, Black and Brown people are living the reality every day that we white people are so quick to deny exists or are so quick to take credit for fighting against while profiting from the very systems that uphold our power.

Relentless reliability lies in the middle somewhere, between the outrage and “wok-like” behaviors that fizzle out quickly and complete apathy that has us feigning helplessness and exhaustion. The in-between space is where we see Black and Brown people eye to eye and we can truly hear and follow… where we can acknowledge and recognize the work that needs to be done without becoming overwhelmed and without using any slightest gain as an excuse to stop working… where we can hold ourselves and others accountable for falling back into ingrained behaviors that would have us throw up our hands when the work gets tough or when what we see in the mirror frightens us so much that we want to look away. We have to face it all and name it for what it is and then do the work to undue the ugliness.

There is so much in this essay to deeply think about:

– Racism is an economic construct and equity means giving up power and sharing resources freely. Often, we equate poverty with a person’s lack of responsibility or a flaw in character and see them as less-than vs looking at the bigger systems and structures at play and seeing the person eye to eye. Having true compassion and empathy and seeing people’s humanity is what is called for as I look to tear down systems, not the people who are being crushed by them.

– Individual effort is necessary but is only foundational and not the end. Stopping there does little but encourage apathy towards making real changes that support equity …movement cannot be made in a vacuum and it takes the collective to change systems and power. I must look outside of myself and focus on external praxis while continuing internal interrogation. I must be more aware and politically active on a local, regional, state and national level of politics to call for and push for change.

– Accommodation has to be made by those holding the power, not the marginalized who have carried the burden for so long to be recognized and acknowledged in their fight for humanity.

“At what point can white people, as a group, ever reach back to a time when they were trustworthy to those they systematically oppressed?” I need to start by asking if I have personally been trustworthy, dependable, and reliable. If the answer is no or if my reliability waxes and wanes, how can I expect that wp as a collective can be seen as trustworthy?

• This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by  Clare Steward.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by  Clare Steward.

[Rebecca McClinton]

I really like how you talk about the in-between spaces when we’re eye to eye. The way you characterize that space makes it tangible, and I see in it the freedom that comes with accountability, acknowledgment, and love.

[Jaime Ballard]

I hadn’t thought to personalize that I have never been reliable, that it is a new goal I am working towards, thank you for modeling personalizing that.

[Leah Gallo]

I read this and think, ‘it sounds like utopia,’ immediately followed by my default ‘we will never get there.’ Always before I have fallen into that cycle you describe of coming in hot under the collar and fizzling out into numbness and learned helplessness. It feels impossible so why even try? Your words here remind me of how vital it is to be relentless and reliable. How not to let the twin sirens of futility or false grandiosity pull me astray.

I do believe in this vision, and the call to address the toxic threesome of supremacy, wealth and power; to eschew the false inclusion that demands more of the oppressed than the oppressors, that we must take it beyond ourselves into the wider global world. I look forward to your teachings on the six principles of non-violence.

[Rhonda Freeman]

Leah, I think you point out the sirens that Lace refers to: “There are twin sirens that can derail us from faithful, steadfast, and relentlessly reliable and resilient praxis: one, the disappointment and futility that come from realizing just how far we are from King’s original optimistic and faithful vision; the other siren is clutching to a disingenuous strain of optimism that bears no resemblance to King’s clear eyed and audaciously realistic version of the same;” Emily recently described orienteering towards the North Star of mitigating harm to black and brown people. I see that as a big part of our practice. Orient. Move forward. Sometime get wobbled off center. Orient again. Don’t be distracted by the sirens of disappointment or disingenuous optimism.

[Kelsi Watters]

As you talk about these sirens, I am visualizing a teeter totter or a balance beam. If you tip too far to one side, you could fall off. It’s a precarious ride, a precarious balance, and as you said, Rhonda, it requires keeping ourselves centered and oriented toward the NorthStar. As long as the eyes of my heart are trained toward the NorthStar, I will not completely fall off the balance beam or teeter totter. I will stumble, and I will probably be far from graceful much of the time – but I will keep holding on, keep righting my posture when I lean too far toward disappointment/learned helplessness or complacency. I can tell when I lean too far in one direction, because I feel an uneasiness in my spirit telling me that something is not right. There are three steps I find helpful in trying to keep my balance: (1) to identify what causes me to lean toward either end of learned helplessness or complacency; (2) to notice how this impacts or shows up in my praxis; and (3) to reflect on how this is hindering my commitment to the NorthStar and what I need to do to re-balance myself.

[Rhonda Freeman]

Kelsi, I appreciate your specifics. I am envisioning myself on this teeter totter (or being a weeble that is wobbling) and using these questions each time I catch myself or I am held accountable.

[Rebecca McClinton]

I can easily find myself in those “two sirens that can derail,” disappointment/futility” that we’ll never get there, and “disingenuous optimism that focuses on gains”. They are both outcome-focused, one is dismissive and the other claiming that we’ve already arrived. I think that’s why I can find myself in them…constantly looking for outcomes either way. It’s as Lace says here, though, that this work is never one and done, I have to “return again and again and again”. I might take a topic, such as the economic constructs of racism discussed here, and think that I’ve learned and understood them, but upon returning again and again find more and more layers to uncover both in the systems themselves and in my interaction and connection to them. It’s engaging in the work through community that I’m able to keep peeling back those layers. Each person, relationship, and conversation along the way grows that, with that ultimate goal in mind of the shared wealth, common humanity, and international standards of human decency that Dr. Bernice King talks about here.

[Julie Helwege]

What I’ve learned here is my three-legged stool: relational (self and others), financial engagement (reliable and durable) and owning my white supremacy and racism (full accountability). This is the method I practice every day to be less harmful and much safer to BIPOC.

There is so much to digest here – as always Lace, I feel your words in my bones. My soul shakes. The white washing is stark; even as I reflect and own how I’ve whitesplained MLK throughout my life. The pick and choose, racist, power-holding at all costs lens. No more.

This struck me hard, “At what point can white people, as a group, ever reach back to a time when they were trustworthy to those they systematically oppressed?” When can I reach back to a time where I was trustworthy to those I systematically oppressed?

There is no point. And WP work hard individually and collectively to excuse and remain “unaware.” To push past talk of history with “but look how far we’ve come.” I always notice the “but” now when witnessing white supremacy and racism.

Talking about our authentic and bloody and power thirsty white history is disturbing and horrifying, as it should be. It needs to be faced and addressed. Me and my cohort need to initiate repair and be held accountable.

I’ve noticed in my walking that white twitch and corresponding weaponizing strikes quick and hard when it comes to oppression. I’m prepared for it now and ready to fight back with kind candor and facts.

I am working on my relentless reliability and deweaponizing every day to be and remain trustworthy.

I learned that buffalo are extinct creatures because they were slaughtered by the thousands to starve native and indigenous peoples. This is our white history. We’re honoring and remembering the Tulsa Race Massacre (100-year anniversary) this year, where a multi-million dollar Black Wallstreet community was annihilated by a white mob. This is our white history. Slavery, genocide, colonization, oppression. This is our white history.

There is no point, and it continues today.

I am committed to being the change I wish to see. To paying reparations and engaging financially consistently. To walking in this community and boldly living my Praxis out loud. To holding myself accountable to earning trust and maintaining it. To being a place where tired Black and Brown feet can rest. To amplifying, not saving. To holding and being held.

The pivot to race for me is clear – Black and Brown people are still oppressed and dying.

I walk with urgency and deliberate speed and rigor. I will not white wash; I will tell the truth and speak openly and regularly about “there is no point” that we are trustworthy to those we systematically oppress. I will also share how that can and will change, and the role I will play. It starts with my three-legged stool.

[Jaime Ballard]

I am thinking about the three-legged stool of money, power, and historical contexts with supremacy baked in, and how facing all three is necessary for change. I balk at changing our whole economic system – but why? It is not serving us well. The Beloved Community requires change in ourselves and our systems, and is worth changing for.
I loved Lace’s words during Hanukkah about seeing ourselves in the other, and seeing ourselves in everyone. If I truly see myself in others, I will share money and power and change our contexts to serve all of us well.
I feel more comfortable with personal changes than agitating for system-level change, but agitating for system-level change is what I need to do.

[Emily Holzknecht]

I think the false fear of scarcity is often the reason I or other white people balk at changing our whole economic system. False fear of scarcity is so strong in myself and in other white people. (Interesting, both times I typed it here, my fingers typed “security” rather than “scarcity” and I had to go back and correct it…I’m thinking there’s a hidden message there.) I have to keep practicing giving freely and without question and giving of first fruits as Lace prescribes in order to overcome this fear.

[Christina Sonas]

I’m not the least bit surprised that Lace on Race aligns so closely with the persistent values of Dr. King; as he did, our executive chef insists on depth, deliberation, and determination toward maintaining integral praxis and ethos. The sirens always offer temptation; I have not read a lot of Dr. King’s work, but I would expect at least sometimes he voiced the struggle against disappointment and futility, since he was a fully human leader. I especially experience it when working against the white tide of disingenuous optimism, but I know such optimism can be shaken loose and brought to grounding in the real experiences of Black and brown people. But while I feel it, I can emulate Dr. King – knowing that he was fully human as I am, and not a pedestaled icon – by having the feelings, and continuing with my active praxis and strengthening ethos.

[Shara Cody]

I believe in Dr. King’s statement as the goal, but as Lace described, I heard both sirens. The first siren I heard the loudest as we are so far from King’s vision that it would be easy to succumb to frustration and give up. The second siren was a more subtle sound, like a rhythm in the background trying to lull me back to sleep because some progress has happened. Supremacy makes itself sound so sweet and innocent hiding itself in toxic positivity. I’m working on ignoring both sirens and hope to eventually not notice them because I’ve drowned them out with my relentless reliability and focus on the North Star. Instead of seeing this vision as ideas, I’m working on seeing it as actions and instead of seeing the actions as someone else’s, seeing the actions I can take.

[Emily Holzknecht]

I appreciate your added detail to the experience of each siren. I am thinking of the first siren like an alarm, a false alarm, and the second one like the mythical creature who magical singing lures sailors to their deaths.

[Jessie Lee]

Bernice King’s vision tells us where we are going; Lace’s additional commentary tells us how we get there (and how we don’t). I’m thinking about the potential derailments she cites: disappointment and futility, and disingenuous optimism of how far “we’ve” come. How quickly white people include ourselves as part of the “we” without having contributed any of the work that led to these gains. The gains are not for us. If I’m doing this work competently, I should end up with less capital and power than I started with, not more or even the same.

I’m also remembering past discussions here about the necessity of basing our commitment to racial equity on something much deeper and less transient than our emotional states, or I will perpetuate that predictable cycle maintaining the status quo. My level of commitment cannot be tied to my level of passion after consuming the current news cycle. That’s unsustainable, and a recipe for apathy down the road when I start being reinforced more for my apathy than for my commitment to working for racial equity.

That’s true, so now what do I do with that insight? As Lace has been saying, nothing will change if white people use the same dysfunctional tools we always have. And I always have ridden the waves of passion and white outrage to no one’s benefit but my own and that of other white people. Why do I keep going back to them and expecting things to be different this time? They won’t, and I know that, so if I go back to old negative behaviors, then I can only conclude that some part of me still wants to maintain the wealth and power afforded to me by white supremacy. So when I’m tempted to go down that road, I have to stop, identify the root, and pull it out ruthlessly. That’s the maintenance part of becoming new people doing new things in new ways that helps support the forward movement part, which is rejecting and challenging existing systems of wealth and power. Dr. King’s work provides timeless insight into how I might do that. It is both sobering and galvanizing.

[Rhonda Freeman]

I am excited about your line ‘If I’m doing this work competently, I should end up with less capital and power than I started with, not more or even the same.’ It reminds me of the definition of reparations that I have learned through this community: Reparations has the root of repair and repair is defined by the person/persons who have been harmed. I must look to the black and brown people that I have impacted to know what repair means to them. I think this fits nicely with what you are sharing.

[Emily Holzknecht]

After reading this article along with the “who we are” page for the King Center, I am thinking about how white people so often assume things have not already been thought through and articulated clearly and thoroughly and assume it’s up to us to invent the wheel when the wheel was already invented long ago and thought through and articulated clearly by Black and brown people. If we would just trust and follow the leadership of Black people, we could be much further along in the direction of the Beloved Community and be speaking with a unified voice “on the left”. So it comes back to rooting out that white supremacy within ourselves so that we do not think we have to invent the wheel, so that we are not overwhelmed/despairing or led astray by optimism (I remember that warning in another of the MLK pieces too).

[Kelsi Watters]

Lace, thank you for your essay. As others have said, there is so much rich content I feel that it will take me a while to unpack it. One concept that stood out to me was the triangle or “three-legged stool” of racism – whitwh supremacy, money, and power. I had not thought of racism as a triangle until now, although I was aware of the dynamics of money and power, how they often are a byproduct of white supremacy as a social construct and impact racial disparities. The image of these three constructs as a triangle brings to light the fact that the legs of the triangle (the constructs of money, power, and white supremacy) cannot be fully separated from one another. One leg cannot be fully understood without an understanding of its role in relation to the other two constructs. The construct of white supremacy, and the harm it perpetuates on black and brown people, cannot be fully understood without considering the role of money and power. If we try to understand white supremacy by itself, we can make the generalization that white supremacy is harmful, racism is harmful, just as a generalization, without considering the specific ways that systemicracism plays out. Understanding the role of money and power can help us begin to understfor the specific cycles of harm perpetuated against black and brown people – especially economic racial disparities, healthcare and educational disparities that are a byproduct of economic disparities, and an imbalance of power with a disproportionately smaller black and brown population in leadership prsitions (and a disproportionately larger popupation of black and brown people in essential work positions such as custodial, health care technicians, cafeteria workers, delivery services, etc). I see this racism triangle playing out in the hospital where I work. I have noticed that our teammates in environmental services, nutrition services, cafeteria workers, healthcare technicians, and all other departments that require cooking, cleaning, delivering materials, manual labor, and the most humbling parts of patient care) are disproportionately black and brown. However, simply noticing this is only the first step. I need to lift up and amplify the voices of my teammates of color, to constantly speak out and advocate not only for the importance and value in their roles, to speak out when I notice they are being undervalued or subjected to injustice such as being overworked and underpaid. I see this happening with our Environmental Services teammates. They are understaffed, subjected to the risks of cleaning COVID rooms, called in to clean up after traumas occur (which can be traumatizing in itself), not being paid enough to make ends meet, and are overworked. These workers are near the bottom of the ladder as far as power goes, so with that and the financial disparity, the racism triangle is clearly alive and well here. I am trying to brainstorm some sort of fundraiser or advocacy initiative, but I am still in the beginning stages.

[Deleted User]

While a just and equitable, worldwide Beloved Community is the ultimate destination, I see the journey as the destination. Absent a miracle, at our current slogging ‘pace’, the ultimate destination is not reachable in my lifetime, in generations of lifetimes. Because whiteness makes reaching ultimate goals the only things worth pursuing, we quickly flame out or do not even begin to pursue things we cannot ‘succeed’ at. Upon starting the journey toward anti-racism we are already programmed to stop when it becomes clear the goal is elusive at best. I am sidestepping this default setting by focusing on the questions Lace often asks of us:

Who do I say I am? Who do I say I want to be? Who do I say I stand with?

Does the way I live align with those answers?

Continuously increasing the congruence between what I say and what I live out is my goal—ultimately to have as close to complete congruence as is humanly possible—humanly possible for a recovering white supremacist. This isn’t a carve out, like, ‘don’t get your hopes up I’m never gonna be that good, look what I’m coming out of,’ so much as it is an acknowledgment of how stubborn the stain, how deeply enmeshed I am in it and it is in me.

The second siren rises up to tempt me when my heart and head ache from seeing how deeply wounding and violent this status quo system is to the people I say I stand with and how much I am complicit with it still.

Oh, but I’ve come so far from where I was…..

As if that means anything to the Black people disrespected today;humanity denied today, excellence denigrated, minimized, explained away today; underrepresented today; exploited today; detained today, profiled today, over policed today, Denied justice today, marginalized today; talked over today; erased today, hungry today, unemployed today, denied the promotion/admission/opportunity today, denied housing, small business loans, car loans, loans of any kind–except payday loans with their 400% interest rates today; denied healthcare of the same frequency and quality of white people today; undiagnosed today; without treatment today; adding to the tally of cuts from microagressions today,and on and on and on….today and every day.

To the world holding up how much better it is now for Black people I say readily, “Yes, but we don’t progress by focusing on what’s good, but by focusing on what’s left to do.”

I say that to myself, too, but me, resting on my personal laurels, already knows that. I’m wanting to rest from facing, or not facing, the reality of my complicity. The reality Black people don’t catch a break from–ever–that all the self-care in the world is no remedy for when living while Black in these United States or on this colonized planet.

[Author]

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