[Laura Berwick]

https://laceonrace.com/2022/02/12/the-accusation-of-cultdom/

The Accusation of Cultdom

Discussion

[Robin Van Haste]

This has come up a couple of times since I’ve been walking with Lace on Race, and every time it does, I do stop and think about it. IS Lace a charlatan? AM I following a cult? Every time, the answer has been No… I really don’t think so. I’m not part of the leadership team. I’m not even especially regular (reliable) here. I know that this group has higher expectations for me, but I get encouragement from people here, not shame, and not pressure.

[Kelsi Watters]

Thank you for sharing this, Laura. I appreciate your conviction, clarity, and candor. As a new member of the leadership team in training, I can attest to the fact that we do not always simply agree with Lace… there is discussion, and engagement…not like a cult where the followers are subservient to the leader, where there is not even an option for discussion let alone room for disagreement. Also, from my understanding, most cults are hierarchical, not flat and round like LoR. I, too, am grateful for the repetition here at LoR because for me, it has helped not only to foster repetition of daily praxis, but also to unlearn the repetition of harmful WS ways of being I committed while being immersed in the cult of white supremacy4 Wow…to think our blood pressure can be raised just by seeing an image of a Black or brown person… that reminds me of Resmaa Menakem’s concept of the lizard brain; we are triggered automatically before the cognitive/reasoning part of the brain takes over. For me, this reaffirms that I absolutely need the repetition of words, phrases, ethos and guidelines that will help me to be a safer, less harmful person toward Black and brown people.

[Emily Holzknecht]

I can say that I have witnessed Laura disagree with Lace eye to eye. Many of us at Lace on Race are still learning how to have eye to eye interactions with Black people, and sometimes we miss the mark. That is on us, not on Lace, and often Lace calls us on it. I also think it is worth noting that Mr Werner himself has not demonstrated an eye to eye disagreement with Lace.

I wonder what kind of stand Mr Werner has taken against <font face=”inherit”>NXIVM and QAnon and also other contemporary right wing cults. What I have learned about white supremacy in left-leaning white people (Mr Werner seems to be left leaning from his profile) is that it often shows up as white people making it a priority to pass judgement on and otherwise interfere with the grassroots racial justice work of Black and brown people rather than to actually do more than complain to our own in crowd about what the big white fish are doing. When </font><font face=”inherit” style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; letter-spacing: -0.24px;”>despite having no real expertise rather than </font>hobbyist<font face=”inherit” style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; letter-spacing: -0.24px;”> interest,</font><font face=”inherit”> we focus all our energy into how people doing good work (the outcome of which we agree with) should be doing it how we think instead of how they, the experts, think it should be done, and none of our focus and energy on big systems and big corporations, then we are sabotaging the work are preserving white supremacy. </font>

<font face=”inherit”>I appreciate how Lace asks us to look at ourselves and find our own areas where we need to grow before </font>chastising<font face=”inherit”> other individuals for their own areas of needed growth. AND she never mistakes corporations or systems for individual people. We can and should always be demanding better of systems and corporations. </font>

[Rebecca McClinton]

The cult of white supremacy, that. I think that’s the thing that bothers me the most about the accusations is how the actual fish to fry, is dismantling racism…intrapersonally, interpersonally, systemically… it’s the function of this space. These accusations detract from that.

I also really like how you speak to the repetition piece. Many have studied what it takes to build new habits, new muscles. It’s not one trip to the gym and I’m ripped, it has to be something I’m committed to on the daily. If 3 sets of 10 in a weight circuit is ok to exercise my body the same repetition is certainly necessary to things I’m working to change inside to make me safer for Black and Brown lives around me.

[Laura Berwick]

One of the things I have learned at Lace on Race is that protecting myself behind a mask of anonymity is a flex of white supremacy on my part. If I am going to interject myself into our society’s ongoing conversation about racial inequity, I need to have the courage to do so openly, and put my name and face and skin in the game.

As part of reinforcing this message, a couple of weeks ago, we discussed turning off comments on posts in favor of our discussion forums. This way, of course, everyone is welcome to read our discussions and see who we are and the work we’re doing. But faced with folks who won’t enter into dialog if they can’t be masked, we made the decision to remove the option to do so.

So, I’m kind of running behind. I only got back around to performing the steps to turn commenting on new posts off this evening. And I found the following comment waiting for me:

“Please don’t publish this. But I was literally just randomly reminded of this website and came to look, for the first time in ages, because I felt a pang of worry- for you, Laura. Your choices are of course your own, but please do, just for the sake of argument, set aside your interest in the definition of ‘cult’ for a second and ask why the suggestion of some kind of inappropriate power imbalance here is so often made to you, and why it bothers you so much. Open your mind, just for a second, to the idea that all this might be telling you something important.”

I choose not to give this person the power to rob me of the ability to respond honestly and openly by suppressing their statement. I’m… perplexed and amazed at what seems to be a new version of attempted private messaging? Making a comment on a public platform but asking that it not be published feels… like a huge carveout that would only be requested through a huge sense of entitlement. And entitlement to privacy in a discourse that MUST be had in the light of day is something we’ve clearly stated should not be an expectation here.

I feel that I want to respond to their pang of worry- for me. Only I both want and am obliged by my convictions to do so as publicly as the essay that caused their worry. To do otherwise would be to act like I have something to hide, or am in some way truly concerned about and ashamed of being part of the Lace on Race community when I am neither. Because they appear to be ashamed of their participation I will omit the name and email associated with the comment. It’s easy enough to fake those anyhow, and someone so concerned with their own anonymity may very well have used inaccurate information anyhow.

First, I will say that I believe that the suggestion that there is an inappropriate power balance in our community, made so often* absolutely tells me something important. It tells me that because white supremacy has indoctrinated white people like me for so long into the idea that we deserve to be in charge and uniquely valued wherever we go, that even the flattest and roundest leadership by a Black woman so easily strikes us as an inappropriate power balance. What’s the meme, when you’ve been on top so long, equity feels like oppression?

*It isn’t, like, every day or even every month that this comes up. And the people who bring it up, who act and speak, so often anonymously, to disrupt and discourage people trying to lessen and mitigate ACTUAL FUCKING HARM caused to Black and brown people by WHITE PEOPLE AND WHITE SUPREMACY… these people are always encouraged to provide detail on what they’re doing toward that end, since they believe we’re doing it wrong, even while they profess that it’s worth doing. People calling Lace’s leadership (as a Black woman in a community working towards racial equity in the USA) “inappropriate” have yet to speak up as to what they are doing toward that end under leadership they believe IS appropriate.

This is racist. This is the exact racism and white supremacy I am working to comb out of my own soul, and support others as they tease it out of theirs. I have had more success toward that personal goal here than anywhere else, and here I’ve learned that it’s more important than an issue of my personal success. It’s about the lives and well-being of actual humans, even if it will never be about my life or well-being personally.

So yes, I absolutely have asked the question for the sake of argument. I have tried to be upfront in my essay about my experience here. That I am being expected to be clandestine about challenges to that by people who seem to assume that I’m not being open and honest is… frustrating. If I’m being open and honest, then it is clear that this community doesn’t meet the definition of cult. Which I concern myself about because others have foisted it onto me/us. If they believe I’m being disingenuous, then I don’t really merit their “worry”, and their concern feels more like concern trolling. If they believe I am deluded… their assumptions about my lack of self-awareness, to have written this essay is… pretty insulting.

I don’t think I have anything new to say, even though I’ve said so much of it. But I hope this clears up any worry that commenter has for me. I encourage everyone to be part of this discourse honestly and openly, as themselves. That’s the only way this space can be safe-ish for folks who desperately need people like me to become safer.

[Author]

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