[Lace Watkins]

https://laceonrace.com/2021/06/09/early-june-ask/

 

Early June Ask

Discussion

[Rebecca McClinton]

When Lace talks about how one of the hardest parts is saying the same thing in novel ways, it makes me think how that same thing is true for issues of racial justice. ‘how many different ways I gotta put this down for you to pick it up, whyte people?!’ Whether it be in regards to financial engagement or believing what Black and Brown people are saying, they “shouldn’t have to endure the fickleness and the intermittency of those whose full throats suddenly closed”. I love the make and model of this car that makes me stop and consider that through chewing and responding to the material. I have given of my first fruits both to this space and others also doing the work in my community. I will ever be thankful for the exhortations here that helped me get back into those practices I put aside earlier in my life. Can’t take money with you…better to see it walk and talk today in meaningful ways.

[Emily Holzknecht]

I appreciate your application here of “can’t take it with you.” I mostly hear people say that as a reason to splurge or indulge, to do things for themselves. There is no reason “can’t take it with you” can’t be able service.

[Julia Tayler]

I whole heartily agree that they shouldn’t have to endure the fickleness and intermittency of wp. We flit from hobby to hobby as Emily says below – cause to cause. I like the can’t take it with you as regards to service also.

[Emily Holzknecht]

I am also thinking about saying things over and over again and having it feel and sound new. I am thinking about how white people like me sometimes…often… come to racial justice spaces because it is a new interest and when that interest feels satisfied, racial justice gets stuffed in the back of the closet with other hobbies that came and went. For Black and brown people, racial justice is life and death, not a hobby. White people like me need to recognize it and work to become relentlessly reliable rather than treating it as a passing interest. Even when the ideas are no longer new. Even when we’ve had the same conversation with other white people before, once, twice, twenty times (do white people even get to 20?), 100 times, even when it’s boring to have that same conversation all over again, we have to keep showing up to have it. In my life I have mostly had the option to avoid tasks that become repetitive, and I will continue to be able to do that in most situations. But I am choosing not to avoid repetition where it is needed when it comes to racial justice.

[Emily Holzknecht]

I also engaged financially at the beginning of June.

[Marlise Flores]

The repetition and “boring” label remind me.of one of the relational ethics posts about how it is in the mundane daily living that intimacy is built. White people thrive on the honeymoon phase because we crave surface depth and immediate emotional satisfaction. We reacted angrily when our feelings weren’t soothed or efforts applauded. Because we want to be courted. That isn’t relationship and it centers our white selves. Do we even know what intimacy actually looks like? Where we know someone so well that they do not need to ask when there is a need, because we are invested and involved? That the Ask must be repeated speaks both to our depth of relationship to others, to anti racism, as well as our expectations.

[Julia Tayler]

I just read the post again about intimacy and marriage that Marlise mentions. It is true. We love the honeymoon stage and then don’t want to do the day-to-day work that makes a relationship work. Repetition is the best way to learn things.

[Christin Spoolstra]

thank you for bringing this back to our own praxis – to remember that our work is also to find new ways to say the same thing. over and over again. *relentless* reliability

[Julia Tayler]

I have engaged financially for June. I feel for Lace having to do these asks. I find it epically hard to ask for money. If someone owes me money – I find it nearly impossible to ask for it. Sales is not my special gift.

It is hard to get wp people past the honeymoon phase. The new and shiny phase of anything is exciting. The actual work part usually isn’t (for most people) as much. I find that there is a lot to learn if I keep looking. There is something new I can learn every day. The comments change all the time and there is a lot of eye opening information there too.

[Danielle Holcombe]

I was thinking as I read this about the fatigue of the ask and the weight of the repetition and yet the necessity of it.

It isn’t the same thing at all, but that got me thinking about resilience and reliability and the resilience and reliability of the white folks in racial justice work.

Here, the nature of what we do requires repetition. Not ‘writing lines’ or memorizing catch phrases, but repetition both in the way we do the same exercise over and over in each post and also the repetition we notice when many of us feel we are making similar observations to one another.

And what is so often the outcome? The repetition becomes tedious or burdensome. The weight of doing this same work over and over feels heavy and we start to tell ourselves it may not be necessary after all.

And there is the difference. It lies in power and privilege, in choice and in impact. For you, dear Lace, the repetition is necessary – because it is now your livelihood, yes, but also because the sustainability of this space is your (our) Western Star. The work you do here is so crucial, that no matter how heavy the burden, you must bear it. It needs to be that way for me too.

If I have days where I feel that this repetition has become tedious or heavy or burdensome, it is important in those moments that I (already) share your urgency so I will follow your example in reliability. So often white folks do not, because we keep it in the back of our minds that we don’t *have* to.

**I do know this comparison breaks down in so many ways so maybe I would have been better not to use it. I know that I cannot and am not comparing the ways the ask is harmful for you, Lace, to write – with the ways it can be difficult for me to confront habits of white supremacy within. I only wanted to trace the thread on reliability, because so often, white folks in racial justice work are not.

[Michelle Wicks Cypher]

I think too about the idea of repetition in terms of building habits and in terms of internalizing and having it become ingrained. We are often trained into thinking repetition leads to boring and that we always need exciting and new. I think of the relational piece where the mundane and daily IS what makes relationships exciting and treasured. I think of the repetitive training done to learn how to scuba dive so that in an emergency you instinctively do what is required to live – that you have “muscle memory” that kicks in and bypasses the panicked brain. I need that type of repetitive training so that I instinctively react in a way that centers the North Star. So that I habitually engage each month and then use the ask as a reevaluation to see where and how I can dig deeper and engage again, engage differently, engage meaningfully. If I have built my engagement muscles well, it does happen “automatically” and then also allows for reflection on my why of engagement and on where I can continue to look for ways to expand my engagement. I have not directly engaged with each of the monthly partners every month, but some of them are ones that I now engage with monthly. Organizations I never knew about except for the fabulous asks. And each time I have added to my engagements, I find I am not lacking anywhere else. I started with one monthly engagement and it has grown to 5 different monthly engagements. And we still eat. We still have a roof over our heads. Our bills are paid. And so, I find a way to increase the engagement again. Through the repetition of the ask. Through the repetition of the engaging. Through the repetition of us having some of the same conversations, sometimes in the same ways, sometimes in new ways. That repetition is habit forming. I like the habits I am forming. Still much more growth to happen, still more engagement to develop, still more walking to do. Extremely thankful for the community to do it all in. So, I have enagaged this month and will continue to do so.

[Rhonda Freeman]

I financially engaged in early June and I am awaiting the day that this all gets boring. I am awaiting the day that I read one of these posts or what one of you say and don’t wince or am unable to think of an example in my own life or I am simply unable to pivot to race because all the harm I have done has been mitigated. Appreciating you walking with me as we, hopefully, steadily begin to mitigate the harm we do to brown and black people.

[Christina Sonas]

I don’t know what it was like at LOR before Black Spring. I was part of that surge, and while there are others still here from that surge, the vast majority of the surge is gone. It’s a — fantasy, delusion? — a part anyway of wh supremacy in progressive wh people that justice doesn’t need to be sought every single day. I suppose that’s because we experience justice every day; injustice seems a one-off to us. An occasional George Floyd… We simply don’t believe the litany of injustices spoken to us by Black and brown people. Wh supremacy has taught us that the only reality is what we as wh people experience; everything else is either justified or fiction.

What I can do, is keep going. Keep becoming antiracist, every day. Keep showing those around me that racial justice is something to practice, every day. And keep engaging with Lace on Race, every day. My June commitment went in on the first.

[Shara Cody]

I joined LoR just after George Floyd’s murder as well. At that time, like what you said about white people not believing the injustices, I couldn’t understand how it could have happened. I’m grateful that I found LoR and learned the truth because we are asked to do things differently and that’s made the difference of seeing the truth and walking away versus building muscles individually and collectively to stand up to that violent truth that racism is killing people everyday. Financial engagement with LoR and other BIPOC organizations is part of those muscles.

[Christin Spoolstra]

“It shouldn’t be so hard; we shouldn’t have to endure the fickleness and the intermittency of those whose full throats suddenly closed. It has been hard, so hard, for us.”

I have seen your pain over these months, Lace; have ached alongside you through this crucible; have gritted and grimaced at the ws implications of decreased engagement since your retirement; have wearily seen as flash flames flickered low then out only to move to the next flash of the day.

Have engaged since the first. As always. Will continue to walk and engage and encourage others to do the same.

[Shara Cody]

I want to keep the lights on at LoR and I also want everyone’s lights to be kept on. I’ve financially engaged at the beginning of June because hanging back or waiting for Lace to ask isn’t living out what I believe in. Waiting, watching, and demanding that Lace says things in new ways exploits Lace in the ways that I say I’m here to stop.

[Emily Holzknecht]

I am thinking about how our financial engagement goes to community partners as well as to LOR. keeping the lights on in more than one place

[Robin Van Haste]

I’m engaged for June. Like Rhonda, I have never found things boring here. And yet, my attention has wandered lately. This has everything to do with my privilege, and the fact that this can just be one interest among many for me. It has to be more than that, though. I need to continue learning to walk, and I need to show my children how to walk.

[Author]

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