It’s interesting how naturally we in the LoR community frame events like Holly’s departure and subsequent sabotage as distractions from the work rather than as the work itself.
The work is staying in the car, as Lace said, “when confronted with the actual instead of the theoretical; the applied rather than the hypothetical; the visceral versus the dissociated.”
I need to unpack that more. Why does my brain want to keep the work in the theoretical, hypothetical, and disassociated rather than the actual, applied, and visceral?
Oh yeah… because white supremacy. Because I’d rather make theoretical sacrifices than real ones that change my life.
Keeping the work theoretical is how I get to straddle the fence… to have my cake and eat it too. It’s how I get to be neutral and appear innocent, at least to my cohort and even myself if I’m letting my relational ethics and racial justice muscles atrophy.
But my muscles aren’t atrophied. They could certainly be stronger, but they work and are capable of moving around some weight (ie pushing on that stone Lace often speaks of). So when my desire is to stay in the theoretical, it’s an issue of volition and agency. I’ve practiced in the theoretical for moments like Holly’s attacks. I know what to do even if my execution is shaky. There’s where the choice point comes in: will I put my muscles to use in the way I said I would or will I choose white supremacy again?
Clare Steward.
