Call it Coffee with Marlise. Call it the Ask. All I know is that I need to have a hard conversation and reflection with you all.
The Ask has always been a challenging thing to do. The Ask began because the community did not support Lace in Race for over a year without the push to do so. So, almost a year ago, the asks began.
Our team here at LoR has rotated through writing and presenting these asks to the community. I have been thinking over the increasing silence with each one. For awhile, I thought maybe presentation would help shift interactions. I at least hoped that was partly to blame.
So, I thought of apt metaphors of growth, communal work, harvest. I changed where the link was located in case Facebook had a hand in the drop. Meanwhile, I watched the “easy” posts get 60+ responses within minutes.
And the Ask just sat.
I watched Lace put in hours of her time, miles of landscape in her heart for the community here. I read her requests, her frustrations, and, looming ever more, her preparing for a coming end. Yet, if Lace on Race ended tomorrow, many would wonder why.
The Ask shouldn’t have to contain cajoling or coaxing to get support. Honesty shouldn’t feel like pleading. Yet, here is Lace pouring out her every minute to believe we can grow something amazing here, and still the Asks feel like grasping at straws.
By now, those who have been in this space shouldn’t need an Ask every week. Sustainers shouldn’t have to be reminded of the commitment that they freely made. The beginning of every month, and throughout the month, dealing with the stress of wondering whether or not people will respond is excruciating. Every ask feels like a referendum, and it is always in stark contrast to all the likes and hearts and all the recommendations and all the flowery words scattered throughout comments.
There is a bit of a catch-22. Without sustainability, there simply isn’t enough hours or admin to give this community more. Yet, it feels as though we have to give more to encourage sustainability. We have released one newsletter to Sustainers. Those that took the time to read it were excited about the content and coming changes. Still, that content involved significant time and coordination, which was not available during some serious lumpy crossings in the community.
Sustainability means we endure. The community here at Lace on Race has shifted through being present so often that it feels like a new space every few months. For those that have indeed endured, we are ever thankful. We have watched with joy as you have dug deeper and grappled with the personal.
We have talked about money a few different ways but ultimately, they have all fallen flat. Donations, funding, contributions, payment. Each word has different assumptions and application in a capitalist system. What is the application in communal growth?
There is a level of divestment. A payment for labor. Even an investment into healthy support. There are some amazing signs of growth in this space. Signs of hope and beauty. For us, we feel that shows that communal accountability, relational ethics, and personal agency works. The process works.
What it boils down to is, how much are you willing to sacrifice for sustainable, healthy community?
I fear we view supporting this space the same way we often view food pantries, donations, and soup kitchens. We want to retain our choice of what to give, and we often give from our excess or our throw away. Never from our treasured. Never from our most intimate. Never with choice of the receiver. How are we continuing that mentality in spaces where black women lead?
in January we will hit the two-year mark of Lace on Race. We have never been able to count on financial engagement despite having a community that has never seen negative growth even one month in those two years. We have always gained in followers and likes of the page. We are almost double what we were a year ago and that doesn’t matter. This is not a question of the work given here (and it is given rather than paid for). It is solid. This is supremacy in action. And it follows a familiar and devastating trope. That what black people produce is important but the person who produces it is not.
I am going to wax dangerously religious and say “where our treasure lies, there our heart lies also.”
We all seem to rush with “hearts breaking,” ears “listening,” words flowing. Yet, we continue to pivot away from where we are storing our treasure. Our time. Our energy. Our full attention. Our money.
Where does our heart truly lie?
In a less religious way, as Lace says, racism is ultimately an economic construct.
If we are not at the point where sustainers are willing to keep their commitments, and enough people are not willing to keep the community sustainable, than you have voted with your feet, or rather your purse strings.
I would say that I am being too blunt, but I have watched several of us name this dynamic in various comments. We straight up admit it. So, the time has come to be straight in a way that Lace cannot without being accused of every behavior under the sun.
From now on, the Ask will be straightforward and simple. No more 2,000 word essays.
Support Lace on Race: paypal.me/laceonrace