I Stand with a Woman of Integrity and Honor

I feel that I have to say this first, and state is strongly.

In no way am I comparing myself to Beth Moore.

Not her influence, not her reach, not her talents.

But as I followed her split from the Southern Baptist convention oh, I have had many feelings.

To be out of alignment with a group that one holds dear is something that I have struggled with and struggle with still.

I have watched, brokenhearted, as people have doubted her gifting, her premises, her method, and even her salvation.

My troubles over the last seven weeks absolutely pale in comparison.

We are similar in this respect, however: those who have walked with us for years, 5 years with me, a quarter-century for Beth, chose to take the words of someone who was never in alignment with values over our own track record; chose to believe a smear rather than interrogate and critically assess the merits of the cruelty unleashed.

The cruelty is real. And the silence of people who witnessed that cruelty was and is devastating.

No one has to agree with Beth Moore on the merits.

You don’t have to agree with her theology, you don’t have to agree with some of the political and ideological positions that she holds, but what cannot be assailed is her basic humanity.

And people have done exactly that.

To her, and to me.

And those with influence and social capital have remained silent, not just over the last 25 years in general, the last five years in particular when she took some incredibly risky and courageous stands even as she remained in the Southern Baptist convention oh, and the last six months in general.

I saw the statement that was put out by LifeWay, and the non-response of the Southern Baptist convention, and of any prominent preachers in that denomination.

That Beth, basically by herself, held the tide against the slow slide of membership in that denomination.

Every Pastor in the Southern Baptist convention owes a deep debt to her.

Again, I do not compare myself to Beth Moore, but I do find myself thinking about what silence means, what is risked, what is worth spending social capital upon, and what is gained when social capital is hoarded.

I find myself thinking about impugning of character and motivation, and what it means when silence is indeed not only complicity, but an endorsement of those who would vilify her.

And, to a milder extent, what it means when those who were and are silent when one particular person chose to vilify me.

———-

February was incredibly hard. This March has seen a series of people who privately tell me that they stand with me but who did not, are not, and will not expend their social capital to do so publicly.

I feel that. I feel that to my marrow.

I know that people in my personal friends group, those for whom I have written and been colleagues with, and even within the organization that I founded, have surfaced telling me of their private support.

Plainly and gently asked, who, exactly are those murmurs of support for?

And I wonder whether or not Beth Moore’s inbox has been similarly flooded.

Beth Moore’s ministry will not be silenced.

She will continue to have influence even outside of formal denominational membership.

I feel that too. I’m glad that she did not fold.

Nor did I, or have I, or will I, but it has cost me several sleepless nights, hours of tears, and deep interrogation of my own praxis and method.

In witnessing the loss of support that will not affect our Community Partners but will affect our mission going forward, I bend over in pain.

We will continue, and hopefully people will see my character and my heart, and choose to support us again.

Just like my prayer is that Beth will also rise and continue do what she is called to do, and that people who deserted and abandon her will return.

It is serendipitous that Beth’s crucible is happening at the same time as my own.

I am taking many lessons. I pray that I am taking the right ones. I see her open heart, her refusal to withdraw or retaliate, her refusal to indulge in unbridled self-expression even as others unleash upon her, and I am determined to do no less.

I continue walking.

And those who feel that my character and my honor are worth following will walk with me.

I stand with a woman of integrity and honor.

I strive to emulate her in many ways.

I walk eye-to-eye and shoulder-to-shoulder with Beth Moore.

And I’m grateful for those who continue to choose to walk eye-to-eye and shoulder-to-shoulder with me.

https://frenchpress.thedispatch.com/p/cruelty-is-apostasy

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One response to “I Stand with a Woman of Integrity and Honor”

  1. Rebecca Behar Avatar
    Rebecca Behar

    It’s heartbreaking. I ache when I hear the suffering, the indignity, the wrong and harm that has been done to you, Lace, and to this person, Beth. Where does the courage you need to keep going, come from? I believe it comes from love, and determination. It comes from seeing the truth of the North Star, and the ethos. When a person is alone with themselves and their own soul, and they pose the questions, what is my mission, who do I want to be, in this world, in this life? How may I serve? The answers, hopefully, come clear.
    Lessening and mitigating the harm endured by Black and brown people, perpetuated by white people and white supremacy.
    There is the star. White folks like me, we have to be trained to see what we have been intentionally raised and conditioned, to be blind to. We’ve been trained in the default of not noticing that we are centered in everything, everywhere. Today I wake up and read the post it note with the North Star on it. I work with intention to take off my “centered by default” glasses.

    I was thinking about this the other day…this statement: “This system is not going to give you the education and tools you will need, to dismantle it.”

    I recall, dimly now, learning about systems and institutions in social work school. One of my professors said, systems are created to solve a problem or address an issue. When they grow too big and powerful, their original purpose can become perilous, because the existence of the institution or the system ITSELF, will become the main goal, rather than the issue it was built to address, the purpose it was meant to serve. From my vantage point, this is economic. Capitalism. If a system has to make a profit in order to exist and survive it is already corrupt. When money is the ultimate aim and end goal, when the highest value and guiding principle is profit, everything else will suffer and come second to that aim. Make money. Or, at least don’t cost money. Break even. But never lose money. Money, money, money. Power, power, power. Privilege, privilege, privilege. If think in this way I shut down, get tired and stop moving.
    I go back to the North Star. Let everything else fall away. See what needs to be done. Find a way to do it. The opinions be damned. The talking heads can swallow their words. I’m not listening. Let them babble. I’ve got this work to do. While the talkers talk, and the schemers scheme, I will take steps. If they throw cabbages at my head, tear my clothes, yell me down, threaten me. I will keep walking. I can’t listen to them. I need to be hearing my own heart, where I know I will hear it tell me, what I was mean to do.
    It’s lonely. It’s scary. It’s deeply uncomfortable. And I’m only on the periphery. I remind myself that my discomfort is in service to others who are greater pain, and keener need. Gonna keep doing the best I can, to serve, and do the work.

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