A Letter to Lurkers (Part 2) ~ and a Mid-November Ask

So you like to lurk in the shadows of Lace on Race, perusing the content, nodding quietly to yourself.  Maybe occasionally having an aha moment and resolving to change a particular habit or practice in your own life ~ but also, disagreeing at times with the way we talk about power moves and defending (but only in your mind) your ‘good intentions.’

You see the posts where Lace pours out her hopes and visions for this space with vulnerable honesty and humility.  You enjoy the occasional video.  You see the Asks and calls to engage.  You see the promos for the new website and excited announcements about where we are headed.  You enjoy (and maybe even occasionally share) the memes.  But you don’t long for community here.  Rather, you avoid it like a bad odor.

I wonder if you recognize that you are still consuming?  Do you see this space like a buffet where you can pick and choose what you like – stuffing it into a styrofoam to-go container as you high tail it out the door (without paying)?  Or do you see it more like the dumpster in the alley behind the restaurant, where you can pick through what has been discarded and hope to find a tasty morsel?  With either view you are missing the fact that Lace has actually set a beautiful and bountiful table ~ a veritable feast.  But that feast is to be partaken of together.  Here we grow deeply as we absorb, chew on and digest platterfuls of understanding together.

This is an opt in, opt out space.  If this sounds like a letter pleading with you to take a seat among us, I need to be more clear.  The invitation has been given and remains open, but you alone are responsible for your choice to participate (or not) here.  You will not be dragged into community, kicking and screaming.  That would not be in service to the North Star, which is our only focus.

So I’ve told you what this letter is not.  Now for what it is.  Consider this your check if you will.  You’ve consumed greatly in this space.  Maybe you are a long time lurker who values the content you read here (now, how much you value it may be up for debate given you don’t trust the curator of the content enough to be in her space the way she prescribes); but you would say you read “good stuff” here.  While we are not behind a paywall and you are ABLE to access the content for free, have you given any real thought to your consumption in this space?  Or to the costs involved in running it?  I’m not talking about emotional labor although there is no shortage of that.  I’m talking about actual, quantifiable costs.  Maybe as a lurker you do not see the fullness of the work that goes into Lace on Race, but based on the reach of the various posts and updates, I think you do know.  I think you do know about the team of people working behind the scenes, and the website being built, and the community partners that we walk with every month, and on and on.

I’m not suggesting that you should engage financially IN LIEU OF community engagement. You cannot pay your way to becoming a successful anti-racist.  And you will continue to hear about the harm you do to Lace as a lurker.  There is no amount of money that would cause us to walk back our praxis on this issue or any other.  But I am suggesting that even if you choose to continue to lurk, you might consider acknowledging the value of the content here and taking ownership for your consumption of that content via financial engagement.

It’s always interesting to me the way we show what we value, when something is offered on a “pay as you can” basis.  And this part is for everyone, not just the lurkers.  We’ve talked about financial contributions here before.  There is no set rate.  Imagine how that would work.  If you were charged more for each post or comment you engaged with ($1/comment or something), engagement would go down.  Or if there were a monthly fee but you could ‘earn’ discounts off it by engaging, engagements would go up (but depth of engagement would almost certainly drop).  

No, this space is not intended to exclude anyone or separate anyone out who has less to spare in the way of financial resources and so we do not set amounts.  But Lace asks that we each interrogate this internally.  That we confront the meaning and reason behind our financial engagement and the specific amount.  That we confront how we value Lace, each other, the content and the work done here, and the goal of this space.  It’s not enough to simply toss a $5 (or even a $50) casually each month based on what feels comfortable in your budget or reasonable in your mind.  This financial engagement needs to be intentional and considered.  

And it needs to be re-examined from time to time.  Because each time I find myself comfortable in a new habit I have formed, I am no longer taking action with volition and agency.  I am right back to autopilot.  And when I’m on autopilot, I am definitely not serving the North Star.  I invite you to do this exercise today ~ this mental interrogation ~ and then respond here with your intention.  Not with your defenses or justifications, nor with your budget please.  Not with cookie seeking in mind either.  I’m not asking for numbers but providing a place where you can state (and then carry out) your intention to put skin in the game.  To be invested in this space and where we go together.  To pour out of yourself into the community here as we work to lessen and mitigate the harm to Black and Brown people, perpetuated by white people and by white supremacy.

paypal.me/LaceonRace


6 responses to “A Letter to Lurkers (Part 2) ~ and a Mid-November Ask”

  1. Shay Roberts Avatar
    Shay Roberts

    It’s easy to give myself a pass on this post and pat myself on the back because I do financially engage and I also engage in the community. However, there is still more work for me to do. I have relapses of lurking – even if I have commented on something that day, I still look at posts and pick and choose the ones I respond to and I’m only recently following the guideline of engaging with at least two other walkers on each post. And there are some days when I come and read and don’t leave a comment, which is the definition of lurking, even if my intention is to come back and comment later. There is always more to do, and I don’t get to think ANY post doesn’t apply to me or that there isn’t a way for me to engage or to re-examine the way I’m engaging.

    So my intention is to continue walking, engaging financially and in the community and to remember to re-examine my engagements, especially when I catch myself wanting to give myself a pass or pat on the back.
    *Cross-posted*

  2. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    Thanks for pulling that out about the pay as you can model. A model that is meant to be one of equity to ensure access for all. Am I treating it like getting a bargain? I don’t think so, but that’s certainly something to interrogate in myself regularly.

  3. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    As you say, we cannot “pay our way to becoming a successful anti-racist.” It reminds me of the both/ands of this work and this community. Community AND financial engagement. Internal AND external work. I also appreciate your calling out not getting comfortable in what we define as our praxis. Much like we talk about this being a never-ending road and muscle building, we must remember that our work is preparing for the next step. We’re training our muscles for the next added weight. I should constantly be in the state of leaning in. Once I learn something and can carry it out, I should already be on my way to learning the next and preparing to carry it out.

    What that looks like for me now: As a newly added moderator, I’m working on keeping my original engagement as a community member while also incorporating my new commitments, and I’m finding that additional time is required, so I’m seeking ways to carve that out in my life. My current idea is to stay a bit late at the office to engage here before returning home and going into evening routines. I’ll be trying that over the next couple of weeks.

    (crossposted)

  4. Jaime Avatar
    Jaime

    The part standing out to me here is “It’s always interesting to me the way we show what we value, when something is offered on a “pay as you can” basis.” There have been times where I was offered “pay as you can” tickets to shows. On one occasions I joyfully thought, “Oh, good, I can actually afford to go!” On another occasion I thought, “Oh good, I can get a bargain!” That makes me stop and think about this space. Do I think “I can get a bargain?” Or am I grateful for the opportunity to engage regardless of cost, and engage financially in ways that support it being available to others who might not otherwise be able to afford it? I support monthly, and have supported already this month. I am trying to stretch a little, doing mini-exercises to strengthen my engagement and follow through on mitigating the harm to Black and brown people perpetuated by white people like me.

  5. Danielle Joy Holcombe Avatar
    Danielle Joy Holcombe

    You’re right. I made that distinction in a comment earlier today on Julie’s post I think. There is indeed a difference between the reflexive habits I build as I live out my praxis reliably and the auto pilot that I personally do find it all too easy to fall in to with things like my regular, planned financial engagement.

  6. Christina Sonas Avatar
    Christina Sonas

    I do and will continue to put as much financial, behavioral, and interpersonal engagement as I have capacity for into Lace’s (and our) work to further lessen white harm to BIPOC through the tools of this community. I don’t think that habit and autopilot should be totally conflated, though. We do use “habit” to cover all sorts of conditioned behaviors, without separating those that were created by accident from those that were created with intention. I want very much to intentionally create habits of antiracism and of lessening and mitigating white harm to BIPOC. I want to root them so deeply, so intuitively in myself that I will never not do them. I want to load their creation with so much intention, it will never be unintentional no matter how automatic they become.

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