I Won’t Be a Racial Equity Rip Van Winkle

Editor’s Note: Lace on Race takes no partisan positions. The views held by this commentator on the upcoming election are her own.

Hey y’all. This is Laura. I’m supposed to write something to take my place in our Hope and Vision series. And this is hard for me, y’all. I’m not a chipper, buoyant, positive sort of person. Never have been. I’m so much better at worrying than hoping. And this year has just sucked so much out of me, even with all the good fortune I know I’ve had. I find myself looking forward… pretty desperately… to a new administration and a new year. And only one of those is guaranteed.

So, yeah, now that I’ve sucked all the life out of this room, I need to pivot. It’s not a guarantee, not a certainty, not even something I’m willing to accede as a probability, no matter what some polls say. But we might, just very well might, have a new president in the new year. It’s the one hope I do know I routinely have. Maybe it’s that my mind just can’t get itself around the alternatives, and maybe I don’t want to force that unless I have to. So. I hope for change. I’ve hoped for change for a long time. I hoped for change when we elected Obama. And now I’m still hoping for some of the exact same changes. We did not make enough progress before 2016. Progress has been lost since then. I hope for progress to come.

I hope we can all breath a sigh of relief soon, over the end of particularly heinous racial policies that were a worsening of what was already not where it needed to be… over the waning of the coronavirus pandemic… gosh y’all, I hope we can all just get a really good night’s sleep at some point in the next few months.

But more than that, I hope we wake up again. Because the work is not over, no matter who takes office for the next four years. The. Work. Is. Not. Over.

No election in the past has ever rendered continued work unnecessary, not even the election of our first Black president. Heaven help me, I have to own that I let myself start slacking when we reached that milestone. But a milestone isn’t like the end of a fairy tale, where we can take happily ever after for granted. A milestone marks an significant point along the path, but the path goes on. The path always goes on.

In 2008, some of us, myself included, yawned and stretched out and relaxed beside the tremendous landmark that Obama’s presidency represented in our history. We laid ourselves down in its shade like a bunch of racial equity Rip Van Winkles. We slept away for years when we should have been vigilant.

The Trump presidency, from its beginning, and culminating this year, has definitely jolted many, MANY white people like me into a wide awake awareness that the nightmare of racial violence and injustice never ended. It just stopped troubling OUR dreams. A new administration next year would, I hope, be a chance to refresh, to reset, to start hoping for… expecting… DEMANDING more movement forward, not just struggling to not lose more ground.

What I hope a new administration does NOT become is a sop lulling white people like me back to sleep. I hope we don’t become complacently confident that other people are now in charge of moving the stone we’ve so lately started helping to hold. Benefit from white supremacy will not cease to be. People who promulgate racism for power, profit, and prestige, will not evaporate. I will not be paid one penny less of my salary on January 21, 2021, and my peers among Black communities and communities of color will not be paid one penny more.

Lace began Lace on Race under the pall of these past four years. This has been the year that has seen our community balloon out in membership and action. Now we’re working on setting up our own dedicated space, where we hope our community will have deeper, richer, darker soil for those roots we need to plant and spread after we lean in, so that we can grow up and grow out.

My hope is that THIS is what we do, as the white members of Lace on Race. That we don’t bask in the sun at the foot of the orange tree and slip back into sleep. My hope is that we join each other in the orchard, AS the orchard. That we grow strong, and that we reach others. That our fruit nourishes a joy that is not founded in ignorance and oblivion, but in the knowledge that no celebration we feel will mark the end of our work here. We deserve to celebrate our milestones, absolutely. But each milestone marks a significant crossing, not a final destination, no matter how relieved we may be to see some lumps smooth out. White supremacy still informs our world. That won’t change in a month, a year, or maybe even many years. But it starts with us.

I hope we have seen the start of something durable and good out of so much pain. I hope we don’t go back to relying on others to keep watch and hold ground and move forward while we nap. I hope WE, HERE, at Lace on Race, stay wide awake and see this through.

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I Won’t Be a Racial Equity Rip Van Winkle


40 responses to “I Won’t Be a Racial Equity Rip Van Winkle”

  1. Leanne Nealy Avatar
    Leanne Nealy

    They will only increase the harm to black and brown people by white people and white supremacy.

    I will continue to walk towards the North Star. It’s the only place to look if you have a Hesed Heart.

  2. Leanne Nealy Avatar
    Leanne Nealy

    At least some justice was found in his sentencing. Maybe not near enough but it was a big step forward in a very long journey ahead where we try to mitigate the harm done to Black and Brown people by white people and white supremacy.

  3. Leanne Nealy Avatar
    Leanne Nealy

    Edited again. This post again distanced myself from myself.

  4. Leanne Nealy Avatar
    Leanne Nealy

    I’m a person who is trying to learn how to mitigate harm done to BIPOC by white peoples and white supremacy. I’m just another Whyte women in every scenario. Even in the scenario where I’m doing my because I have studied and put in my Praxis, this. Still a Ww of privilege.

    Despite the facts of my lower income status etc. I grew up privileged by the mere fact that I was born white in 1961 in Edwardsville IL into a loving two parent home. It was a truly privileged environment. There is a University located their as well. It was a very liberal University town that had been stable since the 1840s when it was established.

    I was thinking last night and even said how great was my WW Privilege that I wasn’t worried about getting stopped because by carbregistration is out of date. Just by about 15 days. There was one year that I was 6 months late and had never been stopped for it or even asked about it.

    That’s a huge ww privilege. Very huge. I will get it this week when I leave my premises. I don’t have a worry that I can travel the ten miles there to get it about two weeks late. I see my ww privilege everyday every where. I promote it sometimes without even thinking about it. I’m trying my best to wear it out or root it out. Yet it will never be gone because I’m an old ww. and probably won’t live long enough to lose it. I hope I do. It would be a far different world without it. Yet we could all be equal when the browning of America grows and grows. Especially to higher levels of responsibility within their chosen vocation.

    I am in their. Many times I hide myself behind my words. I’m ashamed.

  5. Leanne Nealy Avatar
    Leanne Nealy

    What I mean with my Clarence Thomas example is not that he’s not a black man but that he’s actively not working to mitigate harm to BIPOC but is actively working against them. Therefor I don’t put him in the BIPOC mix. He care nothing for Justice. And He a judge.

    The same can be said of the majority of the white court left.

  6. Leanne Nealy Avatar
    Leanne Nealy

    That I need to do all that I can to mitigate harm to BIPOC. I’m following the breadcrumbs and trying everyday to make sure I do. Mostly in a small way. Ancestrally I also come from a colonists who came with land grants in the mid 17th century. I have much Whyte guilt after doing this research.

    I come from the place of being a lifelong ww liberal who believed, for the most part, I was not a racists. Yet I can remember times, that I even realized immediately that I said or did a hurtful thing to a BIPOC person. I felt immediate shame and tried to minimize my comment. I’m learning here how to follow the North Star and committed to identify these behaviors in myself.

    I live in fear of a civil war but yet I support justice for Trump.

    I hope I answered your questions.
    When it’s about introspection on paper, I find it hard to respond. I need to practice journaling again.
    Peace and only peace

  7. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    Hey Leanne, Could I challenge you a bit on this? I don’t actually disagree with your comments here, but it is pure externalization. Where do you locate *yourself* in the essay?

  8. Leanne Nealy Avatar
    Leanne Nealy

    I agree. Yet they have always been among us in greater numbers than I imagined. They were just waiting for that Givernmental permission to go all out violent, present and vocal. They were joined by so called ordinary Republicans or “libertarians”. These folks we thought were just ordinary Repugs were also were given permission to blame others for there own failures and to believe the “Big Lie”.

  9. Leanne Nealy Avatar
    Leanne Nealy

    I understand what you espoused completely. I still keep at least three people that I have known since high school on my page. All they do is wreak havoc. I got rid of the rest. I believed that I mostly did not block them because I was interested where they now stand. I will block two of the three. One seems to be rational and his mind can be changed or altered.

    We should be completely out of the “Rip Van Winkle” stage. The armed and dangerous far right are amping up. We need to amp up even higher. As white peoples we have an even bigger obligation. While I might be a far left leaning person and very vocal about it, I can get by with being quiet in certain places at certain times. BIPoC do not have that option and as such, I can not just be quiet, out of fear, and stay silent to pass. I need to continue to be vocal and hardworking not just passive and frightened.

  10. Leanne Nealy Avatar
    Leanne Nealy

    I do believe there is hope. Though with so many people I knew, and never realized how racists they were and still believe the “Big Lie”, I despair at times and prepare myself mentally and emotionally for what is to come after this hearings and hopefully indictments of the white people at the top. They will become extremely angry about this. Especially if Trump were to get indicted. All hell will break lose. They haven’t changed. They are still locked and loaded. They have assault weapons. These ignorant people are not concerned with who they hurt (especially BIPoC people, as long as the get their way and we are the United States no longer. They want to rule a new fascists society. We must not allow them to succeed. I’m not sure how we stop them now, once they were United and grew even stronger and scarier.

  11. Leanne Nealy Avatar
    Leanne Nealy

    Edited to add.

    That are not diametrically opposed to my left of center beliefs and definitely not Republican, no matter what their race.

  12. Leanne Nealy Avatar
    Leanne Nealy

    All correct except that even during the middle and end of he last “Presidency” more people were registering than ever and more BIPoC people stepped up to run in elections across the country. We have taken steps way back but there is hope that as white people we support these BIPoC people who believe in racial advance they and our not diametrically opposed to my liberal left beliefs. They can be Centrists but not Republicans.

    Clarence Thomas is not a BIPoC I accept as having a valid viewpoint. He’s not alone on the COURT in that. We can help our BIPoC brothers and sister get elected to position of power not just by voting but by donated and working for and with them as much as they need.

  13. Leanne Nealy Avatar
    Leanne Nealy

    With the big stride of Obama becoming President it seemed everything was moving faster and more BIPoC were attaining more and higher offices.

    Then that seemed to drive white folks awsy and here goes the dance. Obama, one step forward then after him not just two steps back but over 50 years back in so many ways. We need to elect more and more BIPOC to serve and promote equality. We need more people like Stacy Abrams to step forward and do great work as she has. I hope she will become the next Governor of Georgia. Who knows, maybe our President somewhere down the line. We as white folks need to be in an extremely supportive and acting roles to help not hinder all this from happening. I can’t believe where we were from 2016-2020. We went back to before the Civil Rights Bill had passed. Racism was encouraged and even congratulated in these years and still now. The ones who believe the “Great Lie” are racists, some that we as whites people had never saw out in the open. It’s a very scary time. I know I’m frightened of what these combined militias and their followers might do. I know that fear is even greater in the BIPoC community. We all need to stand together and fight back to the best of our ability. I live in Illinois, which is a blue state and not quite as bad as some. I live across the river from MO and am more frighten for them. If the time comes, after the hearings, I fear I will need to “shelter in place”. Of course I welcome all of my comrades to join me.

  14. Emily Esterly Avatar
    Emily Esterly

    This is such an important call to action. I did the same sleeping during the Obama years, even though there was still so much to do. This time, despite the new administration, I recognize much more clearly how daily the need is to push the stone. Maybe it’s because overt hate crimes like those taking place in Buffalo and Laguna Woods are so visibly punctuating the undercurrent of white supremacy I know slips constantly beneath and through everything. In the Obama years if I was similarly guilty of basking in the sun, assuming some part of the work was otherwise handled, to me the bigger imperative now is to ensure I don’t throw up my hands thinking that nothing will ever change, which would be an equally privileged way to opt out of my own accountability here. In either case, staying awake and continuing to push is essential.

  15. Rhonda Eldridge Avatar

    I read this on what was to be the first day of Derek Chauvain’s trial. It has been pushed back to potentially add to his charges. Will this one be different? As shared above “I hope we have seen the start of something durable and good out of so much pain. I hope we don’t go back to relying on others to keep watch and hold ground and move forward while we nap. I hope WE, HERE, at Lace on Race, stay wide awake and see this through.” I plan to stay awake, and keep watch.

  16. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    Hi Shannon, I’m glad you’ve chosen to come out of the lurking shadows, but can I push you on how you’ve worded this response? Lace has spoken repeatedly about not just the pain lurking causes but the dangers it presents to Black and Brown people. But you speak about the value of lurking here. Why is our white “nervous system settling” more important than reducing and mitigating the harm we cause to Black and Brown people?

  17. Shannon Avatar
    Shannon

    I am committing to this page after the inauguration. I feel more settled now and feel better able to engage after lurking for several months. I hope this is the case for many many many white people, that as our nervous systems settle we can authentically and passionately engage in the racial relational work that the last 4 year and especially 2020 have woken us up to the need for. I hope I am a bit of the answer to YOUR hope.

  18. Julie Helwege Avatar
    Julie Helwege

    I too have realized who I surround myself with matters. This community and Lace’s leadership has been life changing in who I am and purport to be, North Star front and center.

    I will immerse myself in anti-racism work and walk daily accordingly.

  19. Julie Helwege Avatar
    Julie Helwege

    I can’t even call myself a racial equity Rip Van Winkle. Prior to Lace on Race, I was a performative, white savior and unaffected white woman who was racist and supremacist.

    I voted for Obama and celebrated his vision for hope and the man he was, but I wasn’t fully engaged and committed to racial justice. I walked in this world embracing systems that benefitted me and patted myself on the back for all of my hard work paying off. I was proud of my color blindness. Oof.

    Then Trump entered the picture and my eyes widened. I was never asleep; I just couldn’t *not* be aware. I couldn’t ignore the hate a vitriol in front of my eyes. And then Terrance Crutcher, Elijah McCain, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd and so many others… I started to take action, including joining Lace on Race. I still was questioning outwardly, not focusing inwardly.

    And yes, I had to see it to believe it. To become affected. To own my privilege and see my racism.

    I went all in at Lace on Race and here I am 7 months later. I’m looking inwardly, holding my slosh, addressing my racism and supremacy, financially engaging, taking integral action and walking in community and durable, Hesed love.

    “But each milestone marks a significant crossing, not a final destination, no matter how relieved we may be to see some lumps smooth out.”

    This is me and my walking. And now, this piece absolutely has me contemplating my capability to put the car in neutral and nod off. I will weed and root that much faster and harder because that is not an option. I will not go backwards; I want nothing to do with who I was and everything to do with who I am and continue to become.

    In pivoting to race, lives are at stake. I will own my harm and continue to walk hard and fast to be less harmful and much safer to BIPOC.

    I will stay wide awake and see this through, North Star front and center.

  20. Emily Holzknecht Avatar
    Emily Holzknecht

    *cross-posted from facebook*
    I find myself to be heavily influenced by those I spend time with. I can see over the years how those I associate with have changed my diet and my consumer choices and how I feel about my house and how I parent to name a few things. I want to lessen and mitigate harm to Black and brown people so I cannot go to sleep or in my dreams and away from this community, my sleep companions will have other priorities and I will start following some other star that is not the north star, or maybe following migrating whales or tarantulas. From where I stand looking at the North Star now, there is no way even a completely blue map after election day would mean the end to harm to Black and brown people. I look around at the things that surround me and wonder if anything I see is unconnected to the exploitation of Black and brown people and though I don’t know the history of all of it, I think probably not. A blue map isn’t going to change that. I have to stay awake and to stay with communities of people who follow the North Star.

  21. Emily Holzknecht Avatar
    Emily Holzknecht

    I appreciate the diseased/plagued fruit tree metaphor to add to the growing orchard picture the community is painting. I am going to remember it as scale for myself because I had an indoor kumquat tree that had scale and it was greasy and gross and seemed impossible to get rid of. Without maintenance, without continuing to walk, my white supremacy will grow and take over.

  22. Emily Holzknecht Avatar
    Emily Holzknecht

    How interesting that you point out that carveout can be not only when we are experiencing something difficult that we want to use as an excuse to stop walking for a while or to walk less well, but carveout can be any time we stop walking or walk less, including due to a celebration or a feeling of safety. I do see now the carveout (can’ts/won’ts) surrounding celebration such as “I can’t come to the meeting today because my grandmother is in town and we’re celebrating at this fancy restaurant”. I agree that many people are less reliable in doing the work when they feel safe, when it doesn’t feel like an emergency to them personally. Perhaps we don’t ask for a carveout when we fall back into complacency, but that doesn’t mean that’s not what it is: a carveout.

  23. Shay Roberts Avatar
    Shay Roberts

    “A milestone marks a significant point along the path, but the path goes on. The path always goes on.” It’s unfortunately all too easy to be less relentless in the face of a milestone like our first Black President or our first Black woman Vice-President. But these milestones do not relieve me of the necessary work – internal and external- that still needs to be done. So we celebrate and then keep walking. We take a break, a breath, and then keep walking. We take the moments needed but keep them as just that, moments. And then keep walking. Anything else is a carveout, whether I want to admit it or not. And a carveout not afforded to Black and brown people. And not the woman that I want to be and am becoming – a relentlessly reliable and resilient woman committed to the work with resolve – to lessen and mitigate the harm endured by Black and brown people, perpetuated by white people (like me) and white supremacy.
    *Cross-posted*

  24. Christina Sonas Avatar
    Christina Sonas

    Because I am so thoroughly baked through with white supremacy, I know my hopes will not take root, even in myself, if they aren’t tended reliably and relentlessly. My white supremacy is like peach leaf curl, or aphids: it’s endemic and it *will* spread, given even a tiny gap in my diligent care. And it has to be *active* care. The scourge will happen, if all I do is observe. I have to *do* things, every day, in order for my part of the orchard to thrive. So my hopes are not sustained with casual thoughts. They are fed with systems of accountability, with changes to the rhythm of my days, with lowering my sights elsewhere — sometimes even with setting something aside completely.

    And I’ll add this, since I am a child of the Hudson River Valley and the Catskills and Washington Irving: Now that I am awake, I will not do as Rip Van Winkle did after his sleep, either, which was sit on a bench, nattering meaninglessly at passers-by — and watch others do the work.

    [cross-posted]

  25. Jennifer Epstein Avatar
    Jennifer Epstein

    I didn’t go to sleep when Obama was elected, because I was already sleeping. I still thought that racism was a thing you did actively, not a thing you inheret. I didn’t know that a concept called anti-racism existed. Did I wake up when Trump got elected the first time? … maybe halfway. I think it’s fair to extend this metaphor and say it’s been a groggy four years. This election — the one we are in the midst of yet, I hate to say — was a blaring alarm clock. The awful kind that doesn’t wake you up gently. So, I’m with you Laura. Your hopes are my hopes.

  26. Nichola Avatar
    Nichola

    I have seen a few comments on friends pages and in groups already about how this win will make the right wake up and realise things can be different. Like when did that ever happen? Where does that notion even come from? So any way, I am challenging these where I see them and am exhorting people not to go back to bed but now is the time to organise or keep on.

  27. Clare Avatar
    Clare

    Putting this here as I can’t seem to do it anywhere else, for reasons Christin kindly explained: Christin, thank you for you thoughtful and practical words.

  28. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    I hope this lands in the thread after Clare’s Nov 4 comment. The website limits the length of nesting (like how many replies to a reply to a reply), so no one was trying to turn off the conversation, the website just shut off the reply button when we hit the limit.

    I always thought I was one of those middle people, not an anti-racist but certainly not a *RACIST* like Neo-Nazis and the KKK. From Lace and the broader Lace on Race community, I’ve learned more about racism and white supremacy and how deeply entrenched both are in my daily life and in the systems from which I benefit. My understanding that I am a racist did not alienate it, it spurred me on toward our North Star. So I don’t find LoR divisive; in fact, I have been supported and challenged and pushed in loving kind candor. What I do see is white people reacting so, so negatively to the tiniest of truths. When I see this, I don’t see our community or Lace alienating them, but trying to engage them under the community’s guidelines (which are in place to lessen and mitigate harm to Black and Brown people).

    I also understand what you’re saying about meeting people where they are (not turning people off to sport by focusing on the athletic kids). I have what appear to be conflicting thoughts on it but they do work in tandem: Lace on Race is developing new structures (known as the Cafe) to be able to engage people on different levels as well as a mentorship system to help people along the path toward the North Star. I love this as I think it will get more people engaged while not limiting the work of those who are a bit further along. All that said, I agree 100% with Lace that white people like me tend to be toddlers in our antiracism work. I know that I still look for coddling and spoonfeeding and carveouts, and catering to that is not going to push me to become a less harmful person to people of color.

    All that said, I hope you’ll dive in a bit more and keep getting to know Lace.

  29. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    In the lead up to the election and over the past couple of days since, I’ve found solace that there is at least one piece of consistency no matter who wins: Our North Star. Like Laura said here, “A milestone marks a significant point along the path, but the path goes on. The path always goes on.” So I don’t get to crumble and slumber, because there’s too much work to do. That complacency for me could come in two forms: sheer frustration and disgust that results in throwing up my hands and a fuck it shouted into the wind; or that lulling complacency from shifting tides. Neither is appropriate. Both cause harm. I will keep walking and won’t Rip Van Winkle myself out of this path. The work is internal and external. The work is individual and societal. The work is relational. There’s a lot to be done. I’m going to work. 
    (cross posting to facebook)

  30. Clare Avatar
    Clare

    Hi Danielle! I meant to reply to the post you wrote below, but I can’t. Not sure if that is deliberate or not but, in the spirit of consistent engagement: helping white people to be less racist is a clear path to mitigating the harm perpetrated by racism to PoC. Giving money is too – but the most efficient place to give that money is not in America. You can also hope white people choose humanity, and think about your own role in the system. But I’m not sure that it does any good.

  31. Clare Avatar
    Clare

    I’ve reflected and my priorities for mitigating the harm done to PoC are:

    1. Continuing to focus on helping to fight malaria – a solvable problem that would be over if it mostly affected privileged people
    2. Speaking up more about coded racism. I can think of meetings where people (who are not present) have been sneered at for ‘dreadlocks’ or ‘hip-hop’ and, wanting to be ‘in’, I’ve said nothing.
    3. More actively speaking up to fight the idea that immigrants/those who do not speak English should be treated as lesser in my work.

  32. Danielle Joy Holcombe Avatar
    Danielle Joy Holcombe

    The thing is you need to remember that the North Star of Lace on Race is not to help white people become less racist. The North Star of Lace on Race is to lessen and mitigate the harm endured by Black and brown people, perpetuated by white people. At some point Clare, it really is just up to us as white people to choose humanity over power and greed and entitlement. Your worry is not my worry, because I don’t hold Lace accountable for making more white “converts” to anti-racism. That certainly is not her responsibility, nor her mission. And I am here because her mission has become my own as well.

  33. Clare Avatar
    Clare

    Thanks for your response.

    In my reply to Danielle, I think (part of) what I was trying to say was precisely: no, the ways in which this community has helped you are precisely not the be all and end all of its impact.

    I like your questions for me though, and I will think about them, and answer.

  34. Clare Avatar
    Clare

    Thank you for responding Danielle.

    I will say that since I wrote my first post above, I have (for what it’s worth) revised my opinion positively. Lace on Race clearly does care about candid conversation. To be honest I’m a little impressed my post even passed moderation. If my view of Lace on Race was completely correct, my original post would not have attracted two polite, thoughtful responses.

    I continue to worry that there is a risk that helping people like you, who I sincerely doubt were ever as racist as they come, to become even better, comes at the price of alienating people who it makes no sense to alienate.

    As you say, sometimes it’s impact that matters, not intention. Of course Lace on Race intends to reduce racism. Question is, all impacts considered, does it?

    An analogy: many people who could really use some exercise were turned off sport for life as kids, by being shamed in comparison to the naturally talented kids. The coaches wanted to make sporty kids sportier. Socially, it is much more Important to get kids who are taking no exercise to take some. It has more impact on long term health outcomes. So a great programme that helps the sporty kids should always be
    sacrificed if it is making the less sporty kids even l less sporty.

    Lace on Race does make some people who could really use engaging with anti-racism, less likely to engage with anti-racism, and that is a worry.

  35. Laura Berwick Avatar
    Laura Berwick

    Now that you have snagged my words as a platform to put down Lace and question the value of this community, which Lace leads but is truly made up of hundreds of people working hard to do better than the uncommitted middle ground you place such importance on, I want to ask you to honor our North Star, since by your post you have, albeit possibly briefly, opted in to community here, and confront the actual article. How will you remain vigilant in lessening and mitigating the harm perpetuated upon Black and brown people by white people (like me)? How will you hold yourself to that goal, even when the invitations, exhortations, and directions to do so aren’t pleasant or comfortable?

    What will you ALLOW to alienate you from a goal like that? Or will you refuse to allow it, set aside your own comfort, your intentions that may not align with your impact, and even your pride or ego, set it all aside so as to continue to learn how to mitigate that harm, and correct when you have harmed?

    That is what I plan to do. That I have learned to do that here is pretty much my refutation of the position that this community is a mistake. It isn’t everyone’s cup of Kombucha, but that really doesn’t take away from what I have been able to glean here.

    As is evident in my essay, I think, I wouldn’t have been able to recognize what I’ve written before I joined the community here.

    I get that you aren’t likely to join consistently. But can you please speak to these concepts in the essay, from your perspective, as someone with the potential to cause harm, because all of us have that potential, before you leave?

  36. Danielle Joy Holcombe Avatar
    Danielle Joy Holcombe

    Well, everyone in the community (including Lace) is expected to take the guidelines seriously. So if you intend to remain in the community, I’m going to ask you to revisit your position AND revisit the guidelines, which have been updated recently. Lace is doing daily videos as we all revisit them together.

    I honestly feel sad when I read your question and proposal that Lace on Race is harmful. I agree that people are in different places in regards to their commitment or opposition to racism (or their indifference), but I think there are a LOT of people (probably most) who aren’t aware of the ways we have been socialized and educated to uphold the system of white supremacy. So that what I think of as conflict avoidance is actually behavior that supports the oppressor and silences the oppressed; or when I tone police, I am actually exerting my power as a white person and my entitlement to be treated carefully/specially. Or when I ask for my intent to be understood even if my impact was violent. All of these behaviors that we tend to view as innocent, or a part of being “civilized” are all actually intended to shut anyone up who might want to change the status quo.

    Here at Lace on Race we are encouraged to interrogate our behavior in this light and when my first inclination is to argue that I had good intentions, I now understand that I need to look deeper. I don’t think this is a big mistake. Quite the contrary. Lace on Race has been the single most helpful space for me as I work to not only uphold anti-racist ideals and policies but as I seek to change my own behavior so that my interactions with Black and brown people are no longer piling on hurt upon hurt, violence upon violence.

  37. Clare Avatar
    Clare

    Thanks for your response.

    I have read the guidelines. I don’t take them very seriously because of, among other things, the way Lace disregards them. To give just one example, she demands ‘no snark and sarcasm’ and then responding to someone calling her on what can generously be called her ‘borderline’ plagiarism with spikey blame deflection such as, “you’re going to have a very busy morning with all the other people I I have no doubt you’ll be raising this issue with as well.”

    Lace does not (as far as I can see) lie, and sometimes owns her mistakes. In that way, yes, she differs for Trump.

    I suppose I really posted to ask you to consider whether or not Lace on Race, in its current form, is itself a big mistake.

    Some people are committed (if sometimes imperfect) anti-racists, and that’s great. Others are determined racists, and there is little anyone can do to change that. How society develops depends on the people in the middle. And the attitude of Lace on Racel very often alienates them.

    Lace has a lot of confidence in her potential to make the world a better place. I do not share her confidence, and I think the potential for harm is great enough – in both chance and magnitude – that it’s good to point it out to those who follow her.

  38. Danielle Joy Holcombe Avatar
    Danielle Joy Holcombe

    Hi Clare,
    I’m curious how much time you’ve spent in the Lace on Race community? Have you read the guidelines or spent much time engaging with community members and/or Lace? I don’t want to take your “analysis” point by point because it (your analysis) feels like a huge derail from the point of the article you are commenting on, AND the purpose of this space (which is to lessen and mitigate the harm endured by Black and brown people, perpetuated by white people – this includes me). I do, however, want to touch on the comparison you are making to some degree. Trump is a proven liar – all day, every day. He lies with almost every breath he takes. Lace does not lie. And can (and has) backed up her statements with receipts. Lace also does not hide from mistakes. She will own them. She lives her life publicly and out loud and if something she says turns out to be incorrect, she owns that.

    If your idea is that anyone with charisma and who says things that may shock or offend you are THE SAME, your comparison criteria is incomplete. I’m not sure at this point whether your intent was to merely drop an incendiary comment and then leave, or whether you would like to engage in an actual conversation but I’ll be here if it’s the latter. However, our engagement won’t be easy and will necessarily require some significant effort on your part to stay in the car – because what we won’t be doing is continuing to compare Lace (the black woman who courageously leads this space for the purpose of reducing harm) to Donald Trump (the lying blowhard who leaves death and destruction in his wake wherever he goes).

  39. Clare Avatar
    Clare

    The irony being that Lace – or her website – and Trump are essentially twins. Whining narcissists both, both with a certain charisma.

    Perpetual sense of victimhood? Check. Angry attacks on dissent, or anyone who won’t follow their every command? Double check. Flashes or warmth to those who comply? Check. Makes everything personal (sorry, *relational​*)? Check. Inflated sense of own worth and importance? Check, check. Social media is a big bad conspiracy against ME, ME, ME, ME, ME? Check. Unable to allow anyone else to suffer- has to make it all about them (*pivot to race*, folks!). Check. Almost cultish ability to attract passionate followers? Check. Openly generating cash from that support? Check. Top priority in all personal engagement: surrounding self with sycophants? Check. Can’t cope with being challenged? Check. A sense of a piece missing in their character, making them needy and incapable of balance and moderation, but also liable to do big things? Check. Can give it out but can’t take it? Check. All round beyond satire? Check.

    Of course, there is an important difference. Lace is right that racism is bad, and Trump is wrong that it is good. She’s the good twin and he’s the evil one, no doubt about that. But, still…

  40. Rebecca McClinton Avatar
    Rebecca McClinton

    I can certainly see times in my life with I’ve “laid down in the shade…slept away for years when I should have been vigilant,” and each time it’s me exercising my privilege to the fullest extent, to default to ‘they’ve got it covered’ and opt out. My default is to look for an out, to look for a way to say a problem is not mine to address. Racial justice is my responsibility to address, in each conversation, in each relationship and through my financial engagement. (cross posted to Facebook)

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