Facebook Publication Date: 43545.41875

*the Ask is posted

In a little bit, I am finally going to post the Ask, which I have been talking about for all of March, and which I have not done since October. I hope all of you will consider the work we have been doing and will continue to do, especially in this last month.

I am going to say this first though. In anticipation of this Ask, which again, we rarely do (but which we will do more of) I have been noticing a lot of what I can only call ‘preemptive strikes’ regarding tangible support.

Not a day goes by without someone telling me in a comment what they cannot do when it comes to funding this space. It is always embedded in a comment, and usually with a element of praise attached as though it makes their statement go down easier.

Look. if you cannot or will not respond when I ask, something that fills me with dread, don’t feel you have to shift your discomfort over to me by asking me to take care of you (which is exactly what you’re doing) by making you feel better, or by cosigning your reasons for not doing so.

If you don’t you don’t. Wrestle with it alone.

But you all really need to know just how hard it is for me to do this, how many times I abandon an ask, because I don’t have the emotional spoons to deal with the fallout–the attrition (we always lose a significant amount of community members when I do–that is so crushing), and the private messages and posts that I have to deal with, taking care of the people who want my time so they can process and feel like they did something, and have no idea of the irony in their entitlement to my sympathy and cosigning when they are telling me they don’t feel this space is worth keeping viable and healthy. Last time I did an ask, I got less than 15 responses. That stings, and makes me truly doubt the effectiveness of my work, and my and this space’s value to you.

These last months, I have not spent less than 50 hours a week with you; that’s on top of everything else. This week alone 3 mendings, one of which took 12 hours. I have not been able to give full attention to the presentation tomorrow, and now I have to pay for my own printing, because I missed a deadline. That’s not on you; as my admin gently let me know, it is my choice to engage with you. But this is a thing.

This is not a question of quality or quantity. We all know this.

I really need your help with this. This is the single hardest thing I do in Lace on Race–and a year in, something I shouldn’t even have to be doing.

But I need it. If we are to keep the doors open, we have to have it. And I need you all to make it easier on me.

So, in this pre ask, I ask that you keep all of this in mind, and the vulnerability, and yes, humiliation and fear that prompted me to write this pre ask post.

Do as you feel when I actually do the Ask, which, unlike this post, will actually be quite minimal. There will be no begging, no attempts to convince you of the importance of your response, or the worth of this space. But I hope you live out your praxis in this regard, if you want to keep this space healthy and viable.

As my admin M Boe Flores says, it’s not financial support so much as financial engagement in a space that has benefited you, and through your engagement, will benefit others.

*The Ask https://www.facebook.com/156538391666643/posts/331626650824482/

Permalink: https://www.facebook.com/laceonrace/posts/pfbid0X3EstyE53cZsNBcKqiQ6qNzdGgAUoi4PTaJtXdsaojucnEhce4PmpAyEr6pTggjul

Post Type: Text

Caption Type: N/A

Is Cross Post: 0

Is Share: 0

Impressions: 1

Reach: 1

Reactions: 5

Comments: 27

Shares: 0