Facebook Publication Date: 8/14/2020 8:08
An open letter to Jerbear Okoh-Tisch and The Christian Left:
Thank you for the threats.
Those legal judgements of which you speak were from when I (repeatedly) almost lost my house because my husband attempted suicide multiple times. From 2003 to the last time in 2017.
That last time, I held his neck closed with my own hands till emt’s came.
Thank you for forcing me to relive that trauma.
I’m still paying those judgments.
And it’s a reminder at that time every month I worked hard to not lose my home but there were Marshals at my door at least four times in the last 18 years.
I lost my husband’s income when he lost his mind.
Thank you for your deep compassion for your sister in the faith.
I had to battle my own depression and still I managed to create a place of health and healing here.
I’m proud of this space. I’m proud of us.
Talk about the judgments!
Bring them all to light!
Except…
*Everybody already knows*.
All the painful things with which you think are relevatory and wounding are already common knowledge.
Everyone already knows about my husband!
Everybody already knows about my own mental health struggles, partially because of Bob’s mental health struggles!
Everybody knows about my trauma history!
Everything is established and stipulated common knowledge.
There is nothing you can bring up that I haven’t already said first!
That’s how it is when you live your life out loud and you don’t hide.
No one, not even someone from the sunken place, can hurt you.
You on the other hand.
All this time to ‘take me down’.
You’ve gone all over the place. *including my birthday fundraiser for dignified learning project! What kind of a person would do that!
Fortunately, it doesn’t matter. So far mid-month I’ve raised $3,300 on her behalf.
I am proud of every penny. Yes, report that!
And also please do report the $15,000 for 92 Chromebooks that we raised in one weekend.
We have done more for marginalized kids with limited technological access than schools and governments and corporations have done.
Detroit schools wouldn’t do it.
Retailers wouldn’t do it.
Manufacturers wouldn’t do it.
So we stepped up.
*REPORT THAT*.
They didn’t step up.
We did.
And Bridges of Hope. And the doctors fund in Philadelphia where we provided masks. And more
But I’ll stop here.
Tell me what *you* have done in the last year.
Except try to bring down someone who more than tithes half of her income away. Last month, more than half.
You spend an inordinate amount of time finding about out what you feel is the worst about me.
None of it is new.
None of it is hidden.
So what you are saying is that if I don’t stop you are going to do damage.
That *is* a direct threat.
You keep on talking about legality but you don’t really think very much about your own.
I’ll keep going.
You are still at step two though!
All these nebulous things talking about what you’re *going to do*!
Do it. Do it and say you did it. Do it, say you did it, and take the heat for it.
That’s what actions infused with Integrity look like!
And thank you for bringing up my depression and cptsd.
I *will* take my meds today.
And I will eat well.
Because I need to be strong for this.
I will see this through.
If I wind up homeless under the 163 overpass because of your efforts it will have been worth it.
Now, where are my root vegetables?
And if Presbyterian Church USA really is going after me that hard, that says more about Presbyterian Church USA than anything else.
I’ll say that all day everyday.
That they would go after me instead of scrutinizing one of their own pastors.
If you shut me down, you shut me down.
I live without fear.
Especially fear of evil people.
Like you.
I’ve had my share of evil people in my life.
An evil man made sure I could never have children.
Evil people tried to make sure I lost my house. That was Bob’s family.
You are not my first rodeo and I have dealt with your brand of evil before. Not your particular flavor. But Kool-Aid is still Kool-Aid.
And I’m still waking up in the morning and I’m still living out my call.
You do you.
I will keep walking.
Did you peel the root veggies?
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