Facebook Publication Date: 7/26/2020 22:07
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In a group that I am in for black women and mental health, the question was asked, ‘what was the most important thing you have taken from therapy, (I am also including coaching and spiritual formation)?’
This was my response.
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Determine the person who you truly want to be.
This is not the person the world says you want to be, or your family says you want to be, but who you want to be. Let that be your North Star
Start doing the Deep excavation to root out all of the toxic weeds in
the garden that you are cultivating so that that person can grow strong.
As the tree that is your person starts bearing fruit, share that fruit with others through service.
Never ever stop weeding.
Your old self wants to overtake you like so much Kudzu, and you need to develop the muscles of self-reflection, emotional regulation, authentic self care skills, and re parenting yourself and your inner children.
And remember to cherish the tree you have grown.
Learn to determine the difference between being triggered and being truly harmed.
Commit to a strong Praxis of never being a perpetrator, no matter how badly you yourself have been victimized.
Find people you want to emulate, and learn from them, and learn how to hold them well too. Learn how to find blessings in people, and learn how to bless people as well.
Finally, remember that you do not have to be at some platonic ideal of emotional or mental health to be able to learn the skills and virtues necessary to to become a more fully functional adult.
As you learn the skills, more skills will come to you, and they will become easier.
But waiting until you think you’re ready means that you will wait your entire life long.
Do the work now, and the work will keep coming to you.
Keep walking.
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