There are so many examples of how phrases and repetition are part of learning – how language can bring together and unite us in solidarity. Common language is a bridge to deeper, more meaningful connection.

I think about the 12-step program in AA and the language we use at work in discussing our company vision and mission (a North Star of sorts). AA is not a cult, nor is my company. And frankly, I like having fun with words, it keeps things interesting.

And I snicker a bit as I think of the proverbial “drinking the Kool-aid” saying. Because I like Kool-Aid and vision and 12-step programs. Yikes.

And the amount of walking (ahem, a way to describe this work – daily movement to be aware of me and others) we have had to do to deconstruct this cult narrative is truly giving me pause.

Why such the obsession with cults? Why this deep concern and fear that this beautiful, bold, wise and as she likes a to say, nearly 60-year old Black, bald woman is brainwashing the minds of this predominately white community? Brainwashing me?

If it’s because she’s bald… Welp (and yes I love this word I learned here that is the perfect combination of well and help me Jesus)!

Especially by someone who has absolutely no idea who I am. Who knows nothing about me and has never engaged once with me in conversation.

Yet he’s fiercely convicted that I’ve become the latest Branch Dividian in what appears to be a Black Spring scam. He’s pleading with me to listen as I’m nearing this edge of group suicide because I like to talk about orchards and orangeade?

I mean, really? If I die by kind candor and succor, so be it. There are far worse ways to go.

So, what gives? What entices someone to stand on the sidelines watching all the action for over a year and then taunt on a not so random day in February? To paint broad strokes as one set of people no longer in this online space are the victims and the other Black woman leader just has to be the perpetrator. I could be next in this slaughter and am being led astray. WTAF (fork). I mean clear cut black and white conclusion, right? More like clear as mud.

And the large subset of us who remain are now transfixed by a cult leader’s poisonous potion. I just can’t… it must be Harry Potter.

I’m still flabbergasted as I work through this and talk out loud. I’m with you Laura, 100%. I’m with you too Lace, 100%.

On an even more serious note, I’ve also been thinking about Daniel’s pointed comments about Black engagement in this space.

And oh, there’s certainly Black engagement. This living room is bigger than just an online community too.

There is much work being done in the communities that we serve, including community partners, supporting local candidates, helping kids and the like.

I can also share my own personal experience.

I’ve had so many Black colleagues and acquaintances who now call me a friend and ally because they have watched publicly as I’ve walked in this space. They’ve seen changes in me. I’ve walked my talk. Because it’s not just about talk. I’m actually a safer and less harmful person BECAUSE OF THIS SPACE.

They’ve also shared with me the exhaustion of white people as they applaud Lace’s work and stamina because they just can’t work with white people in this way.

I can’t imagine spending my entire day around white fragility and saviorism and self-flagellation all the time.

And Lace puts on her do-rag and gets to work every day. I can’t thank her enough.

And if it’s not your cup of tea, you are not begged to stay. We have even shared other resources. The door is always open. Which I find rather impressive.

That doesn’t mean BIPOC aren’t part of the community or in relationship with Lace, it just doesn’t look like majority white walking. And it shouldn’t look like majority white walking.

And thank God for that. I’m a hot mess and can’t thank my Black and brown friends and family enough for their mentorship and support. For showing up. For showing me patience and grace. For loving me.

My life has changed for the better these past two years. I’m just flat out grateful and not going anywhere.

#lace#nina#james#selika#audrina#shalynne#leonie#jumoke#nikki

And in full transparency, there’s a lot of discussion on how to make this safe spacer for Black and brown people. How to navigate Lace’s method, that works, and still caters to a predominately white, female audience. No one’s talked about our predominately female audience either. 

That’s all I got for now. Cheers to the orangeade, yum! 

Join the discussion in the Bistro!