After reading the recently posted article Dear Nice White People by Austin Channing Brown, I started thinking about my fears and my failures (no toxic shame- only deep rooting through a North Star lens) in living out an external praxis in Anti-Racism. In a moment, I will share a very recent example of where I chose to remain frozen in inaction, but first, I’d like to speak to the priceless (paypal.me/LaceonRace) learning and practice space that Lace has cultivated for the North Star; to lessen and mitigate the harm endured by Black and Brown people as perpetuated by white people and white supremacy.

Raise your hand if you have told yourself the reason you do not comment here is because you are listening and learning.*raising my hand* 

Raise your hand if you have told yourself you are not commenting here because you don’t know what to say, how to say it or you are afraid that your comments won’t measure up to the other comments here. *raising my hand*

Listening and learning is great but we cannot forget or deny that true attitudinal and behavioral change comes with, even demands, application of knowledge to develop skill. I love to watch cooking shows but I can’t learn how to cook just by watching, I have to get in the kitchen and do it. My first attempt may not be palatable, or even edible. I have to make sure I taste before serving others. I must probe for and take into consideration dietary requirements for those that I am serving. I may think a dish is tasty and get feedback that I am missing key ingredients making it edible but not desirable, which is a reminder that I am cooking for others and not myself. The more I cook, the better I get. I hone my skills through doing, internalizing feedback, making adjustments, getting more feedback and doing it again and again and again.

The same goes for the work here in Lace’s Kitchen. We have to think carefully when formulating our own comments through the lens of the North Star before we post them. We need to engage with and respond to others who are commenting and listen to the feedback given so that we can get better, faster, more effective and reflexive. We can’t rely on soaking in what others say and expect it to translate “auto-magically” into effective external anti-racism actions. If we stay silent here, we will never be able to speak up effectively in outside interactions. If we aren’t here to act in anti-racist ways, we need to examine why we are in this space at all and for whose benefit. No, there are not too many cooks in the kitchen.

Which brings me to my aforementioned example. I am excited that the company I am working for is taking a good hard look at diversity and inclusion. They started with transparency in releasing our employee demographics and acknowledging that we lack diversity, especially when it comes to positions of leadership. They have initiated a task force, led by a woman of color, to begin chipping away at the issues. During a virtual all hands meeting, one of our executives made a problematic statement, a statement I have heard others make in other spaces. He said it while encouraging employees to take courses around confronting implicit bias and while addressing previous hiring decisions and lack of diversity. To paraphrase, he said “We didn’t care if candidates were purple, as long as they were qualified.”   

My jaw dropped. I gasped. I stayed silent. Mind you, our mics were muted so I couldn’t verbally say anything anyways but I had access to a chat box to type in a question under my name or anonymously. I typed and erased, typed and erased and ended up not addressing it in the moment but through feedback provided later.

Time to get your aprons on and get in the kitchen! Let’s practice our praxis using this situation. 

In what ways was the comment problematic? 

How do you think that comment landed on Black and Brown employees?

How would you address the comment? 

Would you type something in the chat or address another way? or both? 

If you chose not to address in the moment, why? What are you afraid of and who or what are you protecting?

If you would type a comment in the chat, be specific and share here. 

Would it be anonymous or under your name and why? 

As you confront this, focus on what you have learned through Lace on Race in regards to keeping the North Star front and center, winning strategies, eye to eye communication, kind candor, no punching down, keeping others in the car with you and how your choices would impact the Black and Brown people working at the company. 

Join us in The Bistro for discussion!