Lace on Race

How Do We Walk In Solidarity?

As early as two days into this messy ordeal it struck me that many of the folks I saw doing Racial Justice work with emphatic calls to PROTECT BLACK WOMEN and BELIEVE BLACK WOMEN were doing the exact opposite. Was I to subscribe to the notion that my animus towards white women should take precedence over my love for a sista? We have it all TWISTED. We lost our way when we failed to stop hemorrhaging from the wounds of a BLACK WOMAN because the EMS on scene were white and the agent of destruction a POC. As white colleagues circled her to protect her ; hold the perpetrator at bay; question the statements presented as facts we should condemn them? Are we saying that these same actions/arguments would be acceptable and meet our approval if sisterfriends were black??

How do we walk in solidarity?? I saw few giving benefit of doubt to the Black woman in distress. I too was late to the reckoning. Because I was activated by another WOC claiming harm while wallowing in adjacency. I know this, we failed Lace miserably. We failed her brand new organization miserably. In the real streets she would be laying on a slab tonight, dead from mortal wounds and we would be collectively remorseful, trying to figure out how this happened, whilst offering her family thoughts and prayers.

We can do better and WE MUST DO BETTER
~Leonie Cesvette

Leonie Cesvette

13 responses to “How Do We Walk In Solidarity?”

  1. Kerri Fowlie Avatar
    Kerri Fowlie

    It comes back to my consistent inability (or unwillingness?) to call a thing a thing. In this space, I’ve learned to question my thought patterns and to distrust a lifetime of beliefs about who I think I am. I’ve got a lot of clench and emotional slosh that I have allowed to destabilise my adherence to our North Star, as I continually debilitate myself by focusing on myself, in an ever-running inner dialogue about whether or not I can still be a “good” person, even if I seem to be riddled with subversive racist beliefs. Apart from torturing myself, this “trust nothing you think you know” mindset is actually causing more direct harm as I can’t even get out of my own way, much less respond appropriately, even as a human being, when Lace, who I feel I know to some degree, follow and trust, is lying wounded in front of me. I f’d up in real time. To do better, I’ve got to find a middle ground where my self-doubt doesn’t hamstring me. I’ve got to be willing to step into the light and respond, and stop being so frightened about what it means to my “identity” when I get it wrong. I’m sorry for throwing the baby out with the bathwater! I can definitely do better. And when I eff up again, I can be grateful for correction. Thank you, Leonie, for your thoughts on our “group fail”.

  2. Lace Watkins Avatar
    Lace Watkins

    I just posted a video earlier this morning about the events of the last few days. It can be found in the bistro! It hasn’t gotten a lot of traction. I would indeed like everyone to see it.

  3. Lace Watkins Avatar
    Lace Watkins

    I appreciate this reflection. A query: upon examination, or re-examination, is there at least perhaps some hint of anti blackness?

  4. Jessie Lee Avatar
    Jessie Lee

    Thank you for saying this, Alana. This is a wakeup call to find a better way to balance seeing the good in people with being cautious about how much I can really trust them. This is especially important given my responsibilities to protect this organization as one of its board members. It’s also a reminder to trust my gut better and to speak up much sooner when I’m having doubts about someone’s trustworthiness and how seriously they take their commitment. It should not fall to Lace to raise these types of concerns, as that poses a much greater risk to her than it does to me and other white women who serve on the board. If someone– any one of us– brings up a concern, chances are others share it and just haven’t spoken to it.

  5. Rebecca McClinton Avatar
    Rebecca McClinton

    I appreciate Leonie pointing out how easily wp like me speak from both sides of our mouth, most commonly saying one thing and doing another. I can certainly find myself in that. Words are really useless without action to back them up. I have to fight my freeze, fawn, and flea responses, and I’m reminded here how that’s a part of what managing my slosh bucket means.

    In Leonie’s words I’m also seeing how when I don’t believe and act swiftly I immediately put myself in that power over, evaluative, judicial role that’s not mine to take. That’s not much different than law enforcement being judge, jury, and executioner in a split second decision. I must do better.

  6. Jessie Lee Avatar
    Jessie Lee

    Yes! I think you nailed it Rhonda. Thanks for reminding me that standing with and for is not as complicated as I often make it. A simple statement that I stand by Lace and I find what is being said here is violent is so much better than saying nothing or taking my time to craft my best writing.

  7. Jessie Lee Avatar
    Jessie Lee

    How do we walk in solidarity? Thank you for asking this question, which is better than all the ones I was asking: is it my place? and Where is the perpetrator coming from?
    My mind goes to Ruby Sales and her question “Where does it hurt?”
    I could’ve and should’ve asked this question of the perpetrator so much sooner, before her hurt manifested in such a grandiose effort to wound Lace. Once that effort began, my/our focus needed to shift to where it was hurting for Lace. To stopping her bleeding.
    You’re right that we can and must do better.
    How? My mind goes again to Ruby Sales… “This whole business of demonization, I’ve been deeply concerned about it, because it does not locate the good in people. It gives up on people… And it comes from the same source of displaced whiteness.” There’s a lot to chew on here in the context of the last couple weeks, but for now, my conclusion is that we do better by doing what Lace has been teaching us to do all along; we love each other, and we love on each other. We cleave, locate the good in each other, and ask about the things getting in our way being the people we say we want to be.
    The last couple weeks have really driven home the need for a rock solid foundation of relational ethics. The walking continues, with more deliberate speed so that this response (or lack of response) doesn’t happen again.

  8. Emily Holzknecht Avatar
    Emily Holzknecht

    Thank you Leonie for painting such a clear picture. We are failing and the system of solidarity is failing if we stand around arguing about the logistics of who is doing what while a Black woman is bleeding out a few feet away or if we are more willing to show up for the logistical argument than for the emergency service needed.

    I need to see attacks as attacks. I need to see pain as pain. I can respond to both in ways that are swift and kind and assertive without using white supremacist tactics to do it.

    And I may be criticized or even attacked for my emergency response by any person involved. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it. EMTs also get criticized. They get attacked and assaulted. That doesn’t mean they can or should stop responding. Unfortunately, it comes with the territory. I can reflect on feedback I am given later and I might adjust some of what I do next time or find that there are areas where I need to apologize and do repair. If there’s an emergency, I still have to respond though.

  9. Rhonda Eldridge Avatar
    Rhonda Eldridge

    I need to do better by stating over and over – even if I am unsure of what to say – or write: I stand by Lace and I find what is being said here is violent. I need to get over centering myself and worrying about being articulate or poetic or writing as well as others.

  10. Catherine Seaver Avatar
    Catherine Seaver

    Leonie, I so appreciate your words here.
    Over this last heinous week, I’ve been thinking about the ways this toxic soup of white supremacy impacts all of us. I’m realizing that any interaction that perpetuates power over another, is a form of abuse, and an outgrowth of white supremacy and colonialism. To walk in solidarity must mean that I challenge these tendencies in every part of my life, that I lean into being in relationships, insisting that DECENCY be at the core of all of it.
    We must do better. I keep walking.

  11. Karina Miller Avatar
    Karina Miller

    All very good points, and I definitely missed them. It is helpful to know what to watch out for in addition to overall immaturity and personal attacks. It is important to realize that equivocating over race when a human being who has given so much is being publicly pummeled is atrocious in itself. The breach of confidentiality is a huge breach of trust and extremely unprofessional, and especially to use information gained in confidence as a weapon. I may have been late to the party and missed the details, which is also on me, but it should have been clear to me immediately. I don’t even need to “figure out” anything to know when there is a problem, and who is causing it. Lace has been impeccable with her commitment, word, and integrity from the start. There should have been absolutely zero doubt. I didn’t really doubt, so much as want to figure out how to “help.” I am seeing now that any pause in my stand, walk, conviction, or response can be deadly. I know apologies do no good now. I can only continue getting the impact and keep resolving to do better here and everywhere else. Simply to say immediately that what this person is doing is wrong and hurtful, is the very, very least I can do.

  12. Lace Watkins Avatar
    Lace Watkins

    From Alana Penn
    (Full disclosure: she’s my sister; registered, but not a poster yet!)

    This letter is to the Lace on Race Community. I have read some of the comments from some of the ladies and noticed that everyone has failed to recognize a few important matters; such as, the young lady Holly has divulged some pretty important information that was not for public consumption and is of a very legal nature. The information was organization related and only executive staff. This a serious legal breach and an ethical breach of confidentiality. While everyone is focused on Holly’s somewhat liable assault on Lace important legal matters are being ignored.

    The behavior of this individual is extremely juvenile in nature and not befitting of an adult; if you have an issue with someone you should confront that person and not in a public forum as she has done. This is really not a black, brown or white women issue this is a maturity issue and owning your behavior, in light of not performing their job as assigned or committing to job; and when called on their lack of performance decide to sabotage and defame a person because of their own short-comings and incompetence; is a sure sign of immaturity and for this this young lady should sorely be ashamed for her behavior.

    Normally I don’t usually comment on the behavior of people in any form of social media, but this was something I felt required comment. I’ve known quite a few people of various walks of life and have learned in the face of certain situations their true nature will reveal itself if you just give it time to form. This young lady Holly let her true nature flow freely in the face of her incompetency and a lack of a strong ethical compass. It’s really disconcerting when you find that people you have given your trust to can so callously throw it away without a second thought regardless of the things you may or may not have discussed with them in the past. I’ve known Lace for some time now and I know she has a strong ethical conviction and consistently looks for the good in people. I just want to say to the ladies that surround her to stand strong for her and the organization and don’t let the ranting of an unhappy and spiteful person such as Holly unravel all of the good work you and your organization are trying to accomplish.

  13. Karina Miller Avatar
    Karina Miller

    Ok I’m going to lean in here. What I can see after reading this is that I came late to the party and then stood back to find my own sure footing instead of clearly standing WITH Lace and crew immediately, and my excuses for that are more of the same–fear of doing it wrong, being accused of causing more harm than good, white saviorism, etc. The tape running in my head is, “Mind your own G-D business” when it comes to conflict between others, especially when it comes to a conflict between a Black woman and a POC. And because I and we white women have traditionally made things so much worse, I still tend to stand back, even after all of my time here learning to do better. Overall, I spend too much time thinking and hand wringing when what is needed, at the very least, is to make it clear that I am still here standing and aligned with our North Star, with Lace. I can see clearly that I must continue working to do better as a member of this community. It is inevitable that we will have existential threats from all angles because of what we stand for, and it is inevitable that the one harmed most by these threats will be Lace, as our leader, and as the Black woman who continues putting it ALL on the line in service of teaching, coaching, and coaxing white people to do less harm to Black people in every way she can think of. It is clear now that standing back can, did, and does do more harm. That standing back it’s not walking with. That hiding until the dust settles is the antithesis of what I say I am committed to. That even if I know I won’t make a lick of difference in altering the actions of a perpetrator, at the very least, the person targeted won’t feel so abandoned and alone, which is at least something, if not everything.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *