The “Show/Hide” Button

I make my living as a secretary.  Some aspects of my job I like better than others.  I enjoy formatting documents because there can be a bit of a puzzle aspect to it and I LOVE to solve a puzzle.  The other day a coworker asked me to help them figure out what was wrong in their Word document.  They only had text on half the page, and then the rest of their document was on the next page.  The first thing I did was turn on the “Show/Hide ¶” option which then shows paragraph markers and other hidden symbols.  Helping my coworker fix their document was easy now, and easy for me to show them where the problem was.  I liken it to an x-ray in a way.  It helps me to be able to see the skeleton of my document when I’m working to make it better.

If we don’t want to (or don’t know how to) look beneath the surface of an issue, we are generally going to be less effective at solving the problem.  Back to my Word document analogy, I’ve seen people attempt to fix a spacing issue in a document when they don’t yet understand why the space is there to begin with.  In my experience, they rarely succeed.  Sometimes, by sheer luck, they can hit delete and enter the right number of times in the right order to make things “appear” better, but with the very next edit or new paragraph, the problem reappears or a new one pops up in its place.

White people do this when we try to “fix racism” in our own way.  When I was first willing to start opening my eyes and ears (my heart and mind) to the truth, the first thing I did was start to talk.  It felt to me like the next step was to tell everyone (yell at everyone) about all this that I could suddenly see – as though I had discovered it (how white of me!).  My efforts were haphazard at best and violent at worst.  I pushed away those white friends who weren’t yet willing to see.  I white-splained racism to black brothers and sisters who may have had a different experience from the perspective I had learned.  Maybe once or twice I did something that looked decent on the surface, but at no point in that phase did I do anything truly effective or helpful.

If only there was a “Show/Hide racism” button in life!  While there is no easy button to push, there is still a way to get to the root of systemic racism and clearly see the inner workings of the institution of white supremacy.  When you are looking at a toxic power imbalance at work, the first step must always be to listen to those from whom power has been withheld. 

People in that position can see the entire power structure most clearly.  It starts with listening to others and believing what they tell you.  As you learn, it can be tempting to run out ahead and start trying to lead others, but that may not be the best way.  It’s crucial to keep looking at the x-ray. 

As I build relationships with black men and women who are willing to share with me and teach me, I begin to see more deeply.  But I can never step away from those relationships to lead the charge.  My “show racism button” is connected to those relationships. 

It matters who you walk with.  It matters where your community lies and where you are willing to lay down your power (steeped in ignorance) to follow another’s lead.


4 responses to “The “Show/Hide” Button”

  1. Shannah Petite Avatar
    Shannah Petite

    “It’s not about me (white lady) getting it ‘right’ at every juncture, it’s about my ceding power and accepting that others can see things I don’t.”

    Kerri, what you wrote here hit me so hard. I am learning to constantly lay down my desire to do things right and be seen as good. As a white woman, that is a constant struggle for me. Maybe that comes from living in a society so entrenched and racism that tells me that my white skin is ‘good’ or ‘right’? Maybe that racism bears fruit in me when I give into the burden of living up to what those racist lies say about me? It’s extremely plausible that this is the case. Whatever the case, I know that this need to live up to these standards are both harmful to myself and to others. I had a pastor who used to say, “You can be right or you can be happy.” I believe that as a white person part of becoming someone who listens to those whose power has been withheld takes laying down your desire to be right. Because you do have to say, “No, what I believed the world was like is not right. It is not what I thought it was because my white privilege has blinded me from seeing it’s dark underbelly.” And then it takes laying down our desire to be seen as good because you do have to say, “Wow… I have furthered the harm done to black and brown people in my ignorance, my passivity, my fragility, and my unchecked racist mindsets.”

  2. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    I love the analogy of the show/hide button to “see the skeleton of my document when I’m working to make it better.” I think it’s telling that my first thought was that I’d be more likely to select all and clear formatting. Which follows into your reflections on how you used to do this work, and how my instinct for the clear is showing my desire to ‘”fix racism”‘ in my own way. Instead, like you said, I need to seek out and listen to those from whom power has been withheld. To walk with them. To keep my x-ray handy and follow when I’m told where to make my edits on the page.

  3. Andrea Beilfuss Avatar
    Andrea Beilfuss

    Yes, yes, and yes. I have been the serial back spacer who then attempts to explain formatting to others. I have been fortunate to have been surrounded by a rainbow of men, women, and children in my life; and sadly have tried and failed to “format” some of their lives. In my arrogance and privilege I have tried to explain their experience of racism/white supremecy to them. Being ashamed of the harm and violence I bestowed isn’t enough. Nor, I’m beginning, to internalize, is comfortably removing those in my life who are unable or unwilling to see the profound harm that we as white people inflict on Black/Brown people. I need to be vigilant in putting myself between white people who mean to harm and my Black and Brown sisters. My discomfort is irrelevant to that process. I will remain teachable and remember that I am only a bit player in others stories.

  4. Kerri Fowlie Avatar
    Kerri Fowlie

    This is a fantastic analogy, Danielle! I’m a big fan of the ‘Show/Hide’ thingy in Word. I foolishly believed that learning about black history would fix any racist flaws in myself and guide my teaching, when it came to being a good teacher to my black and brown students (all men) in the prison where I work. How facile that seems now! How dumb, blind, and …white! I have been struggling this week with the thought of my never being fully able to ‘get it right’. I don’t want to need a teacher/parent all my life, because I just can’t be trusted to ‘get it right’ on my own. Your analogy offers me comfort, because it clarifies what is important in this walk. It’s not about me (white lady) getting it ‘right’ at every juncture, it’s about my ceding power and accepting that others can see things I don’t. It’s about having the humility it takes to engage in listening, reflecting and not being the center. And yes, I need to alter my document, not just nod when errors are spotted- that’s the praxis part. You see I’m not so good at this analogy thing, but you get what I mean, right? Thank you Danielle!

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