Thunderbolt

Written by Radha Lath

I am originally from Singapore, and have a background in English literature, with a focus on postcolonial fiction. The tension between nation building rhetoric, and literary truth telling about the impact of colonization has always held my interest.

In recent years, my heart and mind have been greatly shaped by mothering. If it is true that our children choose us, I have been infinitely blessed by radiance and sweetness, and through my children, autism and LGBTQ identities have become the twin pillars of our family’s structure.

Finding safe spaces for my children is how I have found my voice. I write an autism parenting blog called autismduniya.com. Some days, I find I have very little to say, and I’ve found that those are the times when I am erasing my words so as not to alienate or trigger readers. How truthful can I really be? I am still learning the answer to that question.

In the Bhagavad Gita class I’ve been intermittently a part of for some years, we were recently discussing Chapter 10 Verse 28.

Krishna, using a weaponry metaphor, makes mention in this verse of being the Vajra (thunderbolt), i.e. the most glorious of weapons. I felt a tingle along my spine when we read that part. Anyone who writes regularly knows that tingle; it means something in our minds has been awakened, and we have to reflect with patience on why, or the significance to us will disappear like smoke.

The story goes that Indra (the king of the gods) had been ousted by the serpent king, Vritra. Indra was advised to approach Rishi Dadhichi, as his bones were the only material that could make a weapon powerful enough to vanquish Vritra. Dadhichi agreed, but wanted to complete a pilgrimage of the holy rivers before giving up his life. In the interests of time, Indra used his powers to bring the rivers to the forest where Dadhichi had his ashram, and Dadhichi finished his prayers before sacrificing himself for the purpose of restoring order to the world. Vritra was defeated by the Vajra, and Indra claimed back his celestial throne.

I’ve been sitting with this story since the class. This idea of asking someone to sacrifice themselves is very timely. I thought of healthcare workers. Delivery drivers. Grocery store employees. Postal workers. Food service employees. I also thought of mothers. Of special needs families. And I thought of writing about advocacy and justice.

In the novel “On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, Ocean Vuong talks of writing as an act of being consumed. Our words are swallowed by others, and what’s left behind are bones. So reading is not just passive, but an aggressive act of nourishing ourselves on the work of a writer, of extracting the marrow of their truth. The power in this image derives from the sense of a writer giving up their self so others can imbibe; the sense of responsibility we have as readers not to take from them in a shallow way, but in a way that acknowledges and respects what they have shared with us. Not using their work in a way that fails to honor their role in a world that needs art even as it devalues the artist.

There is something obscene about reflecting on a crisis that asks of someone their bones. As if our individuality is a pile of nothing in the face of civic responsibility. As if we are more valuable posthumously than in our breathing bodies. We lionize people who are capable of this level of giving. Dadhichi’s courage is the inspiration for the Param Vir Chakra, India’s highest military award for gallantry. Sacrifice of this magnitude is glorified even today.

Why bones, though? And why this man’s bones? To me, it’s bones because they are hard yet flexible. They are the structure, the framework of a body. Everything else hangs on the skeleton. The mightiest weapon, or a culture’s symbolic ability to stand up to its greatest enemies, is so because it is made of this dependability-flexibility, and allows other systems to flourish.

I cannot say with certainty why Dadhichi. Perhaps he displayed the qualities that implied a willingness to lay down his life for the bigger picture. I think a community  picks out people who are the framers, and makes a conscious decision to demand more. Knowing that, if these people could, their eyes would become guiding stars for us all, and their skin would cover us if the world ran out of blankets.

I’m not here to weigh in on Indra’s decision, and have a spiritual debate. Nor to pathologize Dadhichi’s sacrificial nature. I am really saying that I’m using ‘bones’ as a symbol for ‘words.’ Giving up one’s bones as the act of writing. Allowing oneself to be consumed.

We write because we cannot not write. That’s the DNA in the bones, what marks us as people who are destined for this work, and virtually useless for any other. Writing makes us vulnerable. Prey. And when we write about things that are urgent and true (autism parenting for me), and are doubted for it, we cannot help it, it disappears us a little.

But writing makes us powerful too. We become purified by the process, less fearful of giving up our bones. Also less fearful of the Vajra that is forging as we hone our skill. Less mournful for the words that left us.

We are too apt to say to the Dadhichis of the world–there is no other framework. You are it. It is often dressed up in the grandiose rhetoric of heroism, and being called on to be inspirational. Then, when writers make the sacrifice, allow themselves to be consumed, critics might say Oh, but you failed me here. Your bones let me down there. I feel more despair after I consumed you than before. Why have you left me bereft?

Do you know why that happens? It is because people expect this sacrifice. And because reflection is painful. We can only truly engage with this intellectual nutrition if we stop looking through the lens of heroics and theatrics, of mindless consumption, and of approaching art with an air of tedium and entitlement. Truthful writing is agonizing to consume. Truthful reading allows this pain, does not engage in rebuttals without grinding one’s own bones under the same pestle. A truthful reader does not emerge triumphant, but shaken, humbled.

That is what it means to bring all the holy rivers to one place so that Dadhichi can complete his pilgrimage. You engage, you engage with what he is asking in return. You honor him by refusing your own knee jerks and inertia and shallowness. You change in the ways he is asking you to. You turn his life’s work into your mission. You destroy your ego with that Vajra.

Radha.

Source:

Vuong, Ocean. On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous. Narrated by Ocean Vuong, Audible, 2019.

Originally posted at: https://autismduniya.com/2020/05/17/172-thunderbolt/


13 responses to “Thunderbolt”

  1. Julia Kendall Gill Avatar
    Julia Kendall Gill

    Varda, this helps me see the fundamental superiority held by those in power in relationship to those with little or no power. The lesser-thans are here to be used by the powerful to maintain and always gain more power.

    Workers of all stripes, those in factories, those in fields of war, those cleaning up after others, those producing every single product we consume, even the healers, are dispensable. The “visibles,” those who seek to dominate, do so by ab/using the minds, bodies, and creations of the lesser-thans however they choose.

    Unlike Dadhichi, real-life workers sacrifice the hope of receiving acknowledgment. They collect very little of value for their productivity. In a power culture, the creators and essential workers are treated as undeserving half-citizens.

    On a thoroughly human level I interpret the Bhagavad Gita story as The Powerful having no compunction about asking The Humble to agree that s/he has no value as an individual. The Powerful needs something, anything, and The Humble must submit. The Humble find succor in spiritual practices but there is no external reverence attached to their necessary service.

  2. Lace Watkins Avatar
    Lace Watkins

    Love that last paragraph.

    Legacy.

  3. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    Laura, your last two paragraphs really stood out to me, both about moving on to find the flavor we like best to consume, moving from person to person and destroying as we do. Also that Indra DID save the world. Where am I? Am I honoring the sacrifice that I demanded? (I think I’m on the path though stumbling and staggering) How can I honor those who give of themselves by also giving of myself? (I don’t have an answer here yet… I’m not a writer… I’m not of particular interest… Maybe this connects to what I am able/willing to give to this work. Giving the bones of my time/resources/commitment)

    (copied from reply on facebook)

  4. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    Thank you, Radha, for sharing of yourself! Your imagery of taking the bones of the writers, demanding their sacrifice, reminded me of an image Marlise and Lace shared recently of (oh man… they shared it so beautifully and I’m going to butcher it….) of hundreds of straws descending from the teats to be greedily sucked. Marlise asked how can we breathe life back up the straws? For me, that question and your article remind me of the dehumanization that comes both from putting someone under our feet as well as on a pedestal. If the writers whose bones we consume are in either of those positions, then they are not at our eye level, and we as white folk get funky with people not at our own eye level. If you are not like me, then I can consume you until you are dust and still demand more. If you are not like me, I am entitled with no subsequent responsibility for the exchange. I think about how I treat Lace here: how high is the pedestal on which I’ve placed here? And how much does that pedestal dehumanize and hurt her?

  5. Rebecca McClinton Avatar
    Rebecca McClinton

    (cross posted) I read this three times over the past few days, and different things stood out to me each time. At first the part that caught my eye was Radha Lath’s talking about how we become “purified by the process” of writing, “less fearful of giving up our bones”. I thought how that is how LoR works…it’s through the writing and engagement that I have and continue to grow. I often feel stuck on what to say, and worried of saying the wrong thing or being hurtful, especially on such a public platform, but the more I do, the more I get in return, I’ve learned.

    When I came back to it the second time, I thought “what am I willing to sacrifice my bones for?” Several things came to mind that I’m committed and dedicated to in my life. I also asked myself how am I willing to continue to giving my bones for this work for social justice and making the lives of Black and Brown people safer. For me some of that is the commitment to engagement and financial engagement here. Some of that is through change in my personal relationships with BIPOC. Some of that is through engaging more in starting community conversations and advocating for change in they systems and organizations in which I work.

    In the third read just now what came to mind was how bones don’t decay…they are found later, buried, and still tell a story, and I asked myself what story I want my bones to tell.

  6. Jessie Lee Avatar
    Jessie Lee

    Laura, your comment has been very thought provoking and is encouraging me to engage on a deeper level with Radha’s words. Thank you for modeling what I think it means to be the “truthful reader” Radha describes.

    This thought of yours has grabbed hold of me: “An honest and convicting answer lies first in the fallacy of saying that I/we are “asking”. I/we are demanding, not asking. Too many of the people I rely on for my convenience and comfort have no real options other than to perform that labor. It’s either give their bones for the use or give up their homes, family, food, and other necessities. They’ll still have their bones, but for how long?”
    Immediately on reading it, my mind jumped to the very convicting truth Radha shared in “Sitting in Liminal Spaces” where she says, “Black America cannot afford to stop mentoring us, so we never have to be existentially alone.” I now see the fallacy of saying that we’re “asking”. I also see the importance of using specific, accurate language to describe what it is that we’re doing, what role we are playing in our interactions with BIPOC, who have no choice but to meet our demand. They must educate us and withstand the pain that comes with that if they hope to survive and be treated reliably with dignity as full humans.

    Radha, I really appreciate the vividness of your language that reading is “an aggressive act of nourishing ourselves on the work of a writer, of extracting the marrow of their truth.” I think I need to course correct. As I’ve been learning more about relational ethics, I’ve been asking myself how I can make that act not be aggressive, but maybe that’s the wrong question. Maybe it’s inherently aggressive because of the sick reality that white supremacy is. Maybe that’s a tension that we learn to live with (on our own time, without burdening Black and Brown people more than we have to) in service to this mission.

    I think I’m hearing your point correctly that we have to be showing BIPOC that they’re not giving us their marrow to feed on for nothing, and to give them as much hope as we can that they will see a return on their investment, for lack of a better term, in the form of reduced and mitigated harm to them perpetuated by us (Is that fair to say? I want to make sure I understand.)

  7. Laura Berwick Avatar
    Laura Berwick

    “Indra used his powers to bring the rivers to the forest where Dadhichi had his ashram, and Dadhichi finished his prayers before sacrificing himself for the purpose of restoring order to the world.”

    I really deeply feel and appreciate the aptness of this story, especially now with what we’re asking of essential workers during the pandemic, but also what we ask of BIPOC leaders and organizers and intellectuals in the ongoing struggle to dismantle white supremacy. I am asking so much, I am consuming so much. What am I doing to meet the needs of the people I am asking of?

    An honest and convicting answer lies first in the fallacy of saying that I/we are “asking”. I/we are demanding, not asking. Too many of the people I rely on for my convenience and comfort have no real options other than to perform that labor. It’s either give their bones for the use or give up their homes, family, food, and other necessities. They’ll still have their bones, but for how long?

    What I’m failing to do, or we as a country are failing to do, is to do anything palliative to ease or lessen the dangers of their sacrifice. I’ve been tipping my delivery people double what I was doing before, in one small attempt toward that. But that’s just one small, individual action. We could promise as a country to provide, for example, free medical care, at the very least, if they do get ill keeping our country going. We could provide a better support so that they could choose, making our demand a real ask. We could provide them the equipment that will help keep them safer, without quibble or argument or excuse. We could pay them hazard wages. There are so many rivers we could bring to them that would help them fortify themselves to do the work, make the sacrifice.

    I think what I’m feeling deepest, and having the hardest time articulating is… we could be doing any sort of thing to demonstrate that the need for sacrifice will be brief and isolated. That we won’t keep “asking” again and again that the most vulnerable populations do the sacrificing. We want to call the sacrifice “heroic” to romanticize the fact that we leave no choice and that we value what we’re given so little that we just… keep… “asking”.

    The breadth and depth of that is swamping me right now. And it extends to the civil rights leaders of every age, and the writers and thinkers of today, as Radha says. I see how we ask them to give of themselves for our benefit, and then… we devalue what they give when we don’t like what it shows us about ourselves, and we move on and ask the same of someone else, looking for the answer *we* like best. We don’t make their mission our own.

    Dadhichi sacrificed himself so Indra could save the world, and Indra saved that world. What am *I* doing with the sacrifices I demand? How do I turn what I consume into strength to further the mission of those I’m taking from? Right now I think I’m doing my best. I’m going to have to keep challenging myself on that.

  8. Christina Sonas Avatar
    Christina Sonas

    This is a beautiful piece, Radha. Thank you for bringing it to LoR.

    What I see in both Dadhichi and writing is the necessity for mutuality and reciprocity. Dadhichi and the author will both sacrifice. But before Indra accepts the sacrifice to create the Vajra, he brings the rivers, not just any rivers but the holy rivers, the rivers of pilgrimage. So too the reader must bring their own gift to the author: their determination that the engagement be more than consumption, but another act of creation through the author’s sacrifice.

    Thinking about pivoting this to race and to my work here makes me pretty uncomfortable, because of how much BIPOC have been sacrificed, involuntarily, by and for White supremacy. Mutuality and reciprocity and creation all seem like vital parts of the work and the walking, though, the lessening and the mitigation, and I also see the dyad of BIPOC and White people. Sitting with my discomfort for a while, I thought: If White people like myself put ourselves forward, if we are voluntary with our service, with our bones, then BIPOC could bring to me, as Lace does, their wisdom and experience, guidance and mentorship, and prepare my bones for the creation of a thunderbolt they can send into the heart of White supremacy. This is especially resonant for me because I see myself, my body and bones, as part of the structure of White supremacy. So my bones must inevitably become part of its destruction.

  9. Jessie Lee Avatar
    Jessie Lee

    “Do you know why that happens? It is because people expect this sacrifice. And because reflection is painful. We can only truly engage with this intellectual nutrition if we stop looking through the lens of heroics and theatrics, of mindless consumption, and of approaching art with an air of tedium and entitlement. Truthful writing is agonizing to consume. Truthful reading allows this pain, does not engage in rebuttals without grinding one’s own bones under the same pestle. A truthful reader does not emerge triumphant, but shaken, humbled.”

    This did leave me feeling shaken and humbled by the ways in which I have not been a “truthful reader.” In reading and conversing, I still act out of entitlement to being inspired, educated, and/or redeemed. What a different approach it would be to expect pain, and to lean into the pain in service to Lace’s life’s work: reducing and mitigating harm to Black and Brown people perpetuated by White people. I don’t know what all of this means yet, but I do know what it is to show up and engage as Lace prescribes. I will keep doing that.

    Thank you for these words, Radha.

  10. Amanda Avatar
    Amanda

    The idea of consuming another’s words versus letting them transform you is very powerful. Radha so beautifully points out how truthful words are always a sacrifice, and depending on how they’re received, in judgement, belittlement, or love, they can be a way to alienate or “other” the speaker or writer, or they can be taken as a form of healing introspection. White supremacy always seeks to alienate, consuming without any regard to growth or any acknowledgement of the sacrifice. I am learning to read and listen, with the intention of hearing and reflecting rather than dismissing.

  11. Kathy Kratchmer Avatar
    Kathy Kratchmer

    “ That is what it means to bring all the holy rivers to one place so that Dadhichi can complete his pilgrimage. You engage, you engage with what he is asking in return. You honor him by refusing your own knee jerks and inertia and shallowness. You change in the ways he is asking you to. You turn his life’s work into your mission.
    You destroy your ego with that Vajra.”

    Listening deeply and engaging around the Truth presented is everything.

    Diving into the confluence of the holy rivers with my oh so limited white woman
    preconceived notions untouched by the truth shared is violence to the message and heart of the writer.

    As Radha says, as readers we need to have a sense of responsibility not to take in shallow ways, but in a way that acknowledges and respects what has been shared with us.

    I recognize here my need to restrain my comments from the unbridled self expression characteristic of wp; to restrain myself from sharing the personal anecdote
    That springs to mind; to restrain from sharing thoughts I have already had about the topic at hand that actually deflect from it and muddy the water.

  12. Varda L Avatar
    Varda L

    The theme here is whether we act as consumers of others labor or whether we act as partners in sacrifice.

    When we are consumers, we eat, judge, silence, reduce the writer to her bones.

    When we participate, we create fulfillment of purpose even in the face of massive sacrifice.

    Even here, white women including myself are constantly slipping off into the distortion of mission that comes of being “better people” through this work. As partners, Lace’s sense of purpose in being actualized though full time employment in this work – employment that should afford her joy and luxury – should be at the center of our engagement.

    In each of the spaces where we work with people of color, we need to fully see the person and the sacrifice. We need to contribute to their mission as we become supporters and partners.

  13. Karen Batten Avatar
    Karen Batten

    I love this piece. Real communication and reflection go deep. It reminds me of times in conversation with a good friend, or in therapy, or when reading, or journaling, when I pause… for me it’s not a tingle in the spine I’m aware of, but when truth resonates, or when it’s just lightly touched and hinted at, there is some kind of physical sensation, and a deeper one, like a message from subconscious to conscious, “keep going, you’re near something significant.” I never had that feeling on social media… until I came to Lace on Race. I remember how I felt all other activity in my body and mind stop… and I just sat with a fuller realization of how racism is necessarily connected to perpetuating white supremacy. That is a simple, maybe obvious concept to many on the walk… but my defenses had let me keep them separate. Yeah, I had some racism in me. But white supremacy was for Nazis and the Klan. Until the relationship became clear… to look down on groups as other necessitates its opposite. So I admitted to myself I had white supremacist thoughts, and I don’t know if that’s a common defense mechanism, to see prejudice as only anti-black, but not pro-white. But it was a big deal for me. And a big help. And in the conversations I’m having outside of this space, I can see more clearly how some are open to letting communication stir things up, blow things around, get messy. And some talk with all the doors closed.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *