Reflect on Whiteness, Reject the Myths, Engage in “Good Trouble”

— by Claire Ramsey

As the calendar page flipped to January 1 2020 I started thinking about ideas I had and things I learned in the past 12 months or so about undermining racism, and picking out a few to broadcast to the Lace on Race community. This group means a lot to me. I’m thankful for all of you and for Lace – for her courage, her brains, her wits, her life force.  My vision for myself (and for you too if you accept the challenge) is to get into more trouble this year. You might wonder why. Keep reading!

What’s rattling around in my brain today?  First, the amount of reflection required of white women so we stop creating havoc and harm in the world.  Second, the myths we are expected to swallow, uphold, and recite about the history of the US. And third, the need to step out and get ourselves in “good trouble,” taking as a model Representative John Lewis’s long courageous life of activism and how he talks about it.  If you’re short on time, here’s the punch line:  my wish and my goal for the next 12 months is to speak and act up in my own environment. I am going to say to anyone who shows me that she needs to reflect more, “You need to reflect on what you say, on the consequences of what you say, on the mis-information you are spreading. Your patterns of thinking may not look like patterns to you, but they are.”  When I hear a myth, I am going to say, “I wonder why you believe that, because it is a myth, and if you look for the facts you will see that it is a dangerous myth – there are no individual great men, there was rampant resistance among enslaved people, white supremacy is woven into the entire history of the US.” 

I am preparing myself to say these things and to back them up. I know the difference between my own inner feelings and values, and facts and reality outside myself. My goal is to respond with clear facts. This business is going to get me into good trouble sometimes, I imagine. And it goes against the grain, because I often get into it with people, and then give up because I have very limited patience in the face of foolery, ignorance, lack of curiosity. I aim to keep going this year, especially face to face. No backing out. And I aim to look for opportunities to be civilly disobedient. Good trouble is on my horizon. 

I extrapolated these thoughts from stuff that came across in my real, un-internetty life. 

Recently I had breakfast with a good friend who is Mexican and has spent most of her life living in France. Sometimes I ask her about things I don’t get about French people. Sometimes she asks me about Americans.  The other day she asked me about American individualism. We have talked about it before, and it’s not that she doesn’t know what American individualism is – she does. She asks about it repeatedly because she can just barely believe that Americans organize so much of our lives around individualism when it is so obviously a delusion. We – Americans, all of us – really have no idea how bizarre, rude, inhuman, and unnatural we look to the rest of the world, sunk in this belief system.  More of us need to stop and reflect on the ridiculousness of believing that our individuality matters. 

Then, the other day I read a response from a small group of academic historians to the NY Times #1619 Project (see below for links), a series of articles and a curriculum for setting the record straight about the US dependence upon enslaved people – since the beginning and up to the present – for economic and political development. I imagine that the articles and their view of US history surprised some readers. Placing the business of trapping, buying, selling, and exploiting enslaved human beings at the center of our history changes the story. It especially dislodges one of the conventional narratives – that a few “great men” put the country on the path to unending progress, that the genuine history of the US is the story of continual betterment and progress. This version, of course, does not have room for phenomena like enslaved people and centuries of injustice, and systems of resource distribution designed to keep non-white people from their rightful place. Some academic historians were unhappy about the NY Times series, which was conceived of and written by Black journalists.  They hinted that it was “rewriting history” and objected to the facts that emerge when the myths get closely examined. But it was plain that their primary discomfort was the challenge to the narrative of progress on which the American myth has rested.  Again, it is time to call a myth what it is. A myth. A legend. A fantasy. A delusion. A falsehood.

In 2020 I am turning 70. I want to take as many chances as I can to get into “good trouble.” I will have to look for them. It will require action from me. I’ll know them when I see them, and I’m going in. 

I learned one other small tidbit that made me stop in my tracks. It takes less brain-work to accept what we are told than it does to inquire, to ask why, to think it through, to get more information, to conduct analysis. . . that makes sense. But it explains why so much obvious misinformation gets passed around and repeated until it seems true.  We all hear loads of BS every day, we read it, we get splashed with it. It’s almost the middle of February, and 2020 has already been a year of lies and hot gas. Even more reason to commit to doing the harder brain work –  ask/examine/disagree/commit to living our values. 

Stay resilient and keep walking. 

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/08/14/magazine/1619-america-slavery.html

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/12/historians-clash-1619-project/604093/

Please visit the Discussion Forum for this post
Reflect on Whiteness, Reject the Myths, Engage in “Good Trouble”

Hope and Vision Series Links:

Hopes: An Introduction

Sitting in Liminal Spaces

A Quilt of Vision: Abiding in Community

Reflect on Whiteness, Reject the Myths, Engage in “Good Trouble”

Weekend of Hope: The Lace on Race Vision


127 responses to “Reflect on Whiteness, Reject the Myths, Engage in “Good Trouble””

  1. Emily Esterly Avatar
    Emily Esterly

    “But it was plain that their primary discomfort was the challenge to the narrative of progress on which the American myth has rested. Again, it is time to call a myth what it is.”

    I’ve been thinking about how powerful a myth can be when it’s so told collectively and pervasively. Taught in public and private schools. Celebrated on national holidays. When it’s so widely embraced that to question it can be easily dismissed, punished, shamed as lack of patriotism. And in particular how if you raise a generations of children on this myth, it becomes really hard to challenge.

    But then I also think about the opposite. Imagine if I and other white people explained plainly to our children how America was built by white people on stolen land, through genocide and slave labor. Any business would be incredibly profitable if it did not pay for raw materials or labor. I imagine our children would be outraged. If presented with the facts instead of the lie, they would refuse to let the myth stand. This feels like a place I can take clear action – by engaging with the school boards, state, and national elected officials and agencies responsible for preserving the myth. By collecting other white parents to push for the same.

  2. Rhonda Eldridge Avatar

    I appreciate this perspective Emily. This place of ‘weighing on me’. I want all of this – the harm that has been done to black and brown people: physically, emotionally, financially, and all other ways to weigh on me. Not in the sense of ‘weighing me down’ but in the sense of taking on the weight that I can.

  3. Shannon Avatar
    Shannon

    “Americans organize so much of our lives around individualism when it is so obviously a delusion. We – Americans, all of us – really have no idea how bizarre, rude, inhuman, and unnatural we look to the rest of the world, sunk in this belief system.” This is beautiful said. I’ve been reflecting on similar ideas all year. The way American’s acted over the mask mandates vs how my friends in other countries described mask wearing was truly eye opening. That so many people insisted on “their rights” throughout the pandemic instead of focusing on common welfare… I could never have imagined before I saw it. But now my eyes are open.

  4. Julie Helwege Avatar
    Julie Helwege

    Hey! I didn’t see this response. Yes, please push.

  5. Julie Helwege Avatar
    Julie Helwege

    I going to leave my good or nice girl on the sidelines too because she just perpetuates harm to BIPOC. Thanks for these words.

  6. Christina Sonas Avatar
    Christina Sonas

    “It takes less brain-work to accept what we are told than it does to inquire, to ask why, to think it through, to get more information, to conduct analysis.” This jumped out at me, because one of the main vectors of my antiracism work is to accept what I am told — by black and brown people! I definitely agree that every wp working to be antiracist 100% needs to question the legendary narrative we’ve been fed: it wholly supports itself; erases at least 95% of the facts and truths; and very often, simply lies. So while I’m doing all the deconstructive, reflective work that is so disturbingly necessary for ww to recondition ourselves as antiracists, I can get out there, stir up trouble, and help people stop thinking about USAn history like Robin Hood and King Arthur.

  7. Christina Sonas Avatar
    Christina Sonas

    This is a really challenging deconstruction of the piece, given, as you say, more recent events we’ve experienced around John Lewis’s words, and our now better understanding of our relationship with them. Black people are always trouble and in trouble under white supremacy; so the exhortation to “good trouble” can only be understood well within that context.

    If I want look at trouble-some ways for me, a ww, to promote racial justice in this system of white supremacy, honestly? I’m not sure there should be anything “good” about it. Good is the ww’s way of getting out of it, like nice. I need to foment trouble, stir up trouble, and leave my good girl on the sidelines.

  8. Emily M Holzknecht Avatar
    Emily M Holzknecht

    I think I have been letting not being able to give a college lecture on why something is a myth hold me back in some situations too. I need to challenge the me who has managed to speak up without a prepared lecture in more situations.

  9. Emily M Holzknecht Avatar
    Emily M Holzknecht

    Yesterday my 4th grader said to me at the lunch table: “Sometimes I think teachers teach us things that aren’t necessarily true.” She’s learning about the events leading up the the Revolutionary War currently. I was excited and simultaneously overwhelmed by the responsibility of supporting this revelation of hers. In school I learned about that time period in history over and over again for some reason and never really studied other times in American history, but I always learned about that period of history from the same perspective, the same white version. I do know a number of resource sources for teachers for teaching in a way that challenges that white perspective. My 4th grader’s teacher is Black, but she is here from Spain as part of a special program for Bilingual teachers, and in any case she is teaching under white expectations. The responsibility is for me to make sure my child’s education is less whitewashed than it would be if I did nothing. Also I am thinking about what my responsibility is to the rest of the children in the class, and specifically to the brown children in the class. and what that looks like during the pandemic. I don’t have an answer to that yet. I am sitting in a place of uncertainty.

  10. Emily M Holzknecht Avatar
    Emily M Holzknecht

    I am rereading this piece a week after the LOR community grappled with Holly Raines’ post “Their words are not for you” where she reminds us that the words of people like John Lewis should make us feel conviction perhaps (non-toxic) shame, that they should weigh heavily on us. I am also rereading this piece after having been with the community through the Christian Left episode with them profiting off of the Good Trouble masks. I am wondering, Claire, if your perspective on this post has changed at all after the TCL Good Trouble episode and Holly Raines’ piece about white peoples’ appropriation of words.

    The use you are talking about in terms of “good trouble” is in service to the North Star whereas The Christian Left wanted to make money off those Black words while not walking in service to the North Star and while erasing Black voices and intentionally acting to harm Lace. However, even though the use of “good trouble” here is in service to the North Star, it is still being used to motivate white women, to encourage us to feel good about ourselves and cute about getting into “good trouble” in service to the North Star rather than putting those words in the context that they held for John Lewis and the context that they hold for Black people. White women have the privilege of getting into all sorts of trouble and the context in which we do it is one in which we can easily claim innocence and be believed because in white supremacy culture the white woman is held up as a symbol of goodness and purity and innocence. If the idea of “good trouble” appeals to us, it does so for a white woman reason rather than for a Black person reason. It means we get to reject that construct of us as good and pure and innocent. The words get twisted into white feminism and add to the power we get from whiteness rather than challenge it.

    The context is very different for a Black person who doesn’t hold that place of purity and innocence and virtue under white supremacy culture. Black people are constructed as criminals, as violent, as lacking virtue, as always causing trouble. I think “Good trouble” is an acknowledgement that whatever Black people do, white people will presume that they are causing trouble. “Good trouble” is referring to actions that are working against white supremacy culture so that one day Black people won’t be presumed to be causing trouble. The work that John Lewis did to cause

    “Good trouble” was often disrupting the white-constructed order of things in ways that were in no way sinful, but that provoked great outrage and violence in white people. He and those participating with him received that violence onto their own bodies in service to the North Star. When I encourage someone to reflect on the consequences of what they say (as you stated you plan to do) or when I confront someone who has repeated a myth (as you stated you plan to do), I am at no risk of provoking the level of outrage or violence that John Lewis’ “good trouble” provoked. I take no white violence onto my own body. “Good trouble” feels good to the white feminist in me, but the context is all wrong.

    Instead of using “good trouble” as a feel good phrase, I must let it weigh on me. It weighs on me that “good trouble” is still very relevant to Black people in 2020 just as it was 1960s, 60 years ago. Black people are still constructed as causing trouble, as violent, as criminals, even when they are children. Black women are still constructed as having less virtue than white women. It weighs on me that there have been many times when I could have encouraged someone to reflect on the consequences of what they say and didn’t. It weighs on me that there have been many times when I could have asked someone who repeated a myth to walk with me and didn’t. I will let the weight on me be a motivator.

  11. Rebecca McClinton Avatar
    Rebecca McClinton

    Before coming to re-read this piece just now I was watching a local professor do a presentation about the history of Black and Brown racial injustice in my community and exactly why it’s so white. It’s a painful and sickening history. It’s poignant following watching that with Claire’s words here about the “lies and hot gas” that we get “splashed” with and so readily believe. white people do everything they do intentionally and exploitatively and my job is to be equally intentional about the undoing of the mistruths and taking internal, interpersonal, and external action against that history and ongoing racial injustices around me.

  12. Rebecca McClinton Avatar
    Rebecca McClinton

    Jaime, I appreciate the questions you pose here. I think too much in statements, and am thinking after reading your comment here how that has and continues to perpetuate harm.

  13. Rebecca McClinton Avatar
    Rebecca McClinton

    I too used to think that racists were individuals not an entire intentional institution. I didn’t truly start to understand the fuller extent of that until the last year. My was I so very wrong and I have (and will) lots of catching up to do. I like how you also point out here how ‘one of the good ones’ is just another version of that same mentality.

  14. Brock Avatar
    Brock

    Thank you Claire! I appreciate the simple statement and action to reject the myths. I need to do more of that in my conversations, and your post gave me more resolve to call out in those moments.

    I have been thinking often about American individualism and how toxic it is. It is playing out in so many ways currently. Even now, 9 months after your post while we are in a serious pandemic, this nation can’t get our public health officials and government on the same page for how to address basic public health and safety. And as we are seeing, it is Black, indigenous, and communities of color who are suffering the most and getting the least assistance. I believe this notion of individualism is a major contributor in the inability to get so many things done in this country.

    This summer I had to take a long hard look at my own sense of individualism. Some of that has shed away over the years, but anytime I might think to myself I’m “one of the good ones,” I realize that thought is an offshoot of this idea of individualism and exceptionalism. My personal definition of racism used to be founded in this notion of individualism. I thought that people were racists, but only individually and only when they said or did explicitly racist things and meant them as racist (meaning I thought that if you had good intentions but slipped up you weren’t being racist). I certainly didn’t fully see how power structures and institutions were racist. I see how wrong that was, and I have a very, very different and broader definition of racism now, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t fall into those old traps. Apathy and complacency in white America (and in myself) are linked to this sense of individualism and an individualist definition of racism.

  15. Shay Roberts Avatar
    Shay Roberts

    Hey Alexander,
    Thank you for sharing. I have also had lost moments as you detailed here where I regretted that I was not reflexive enough in my responses. This highlights the importance of daily showing up to do the work necessary to become more reflexive, resilient, and relentlessly reliable. When I allow my fear of confrontation or not getting it just right, this sends a message to the Black and brown folks in my life that my comfort is more important and valuable than their own lives and safety. And this is not who I want to be. I love how Christin’s reply here names that as living out what I say my values are. This is exactly what I am committed to working towards. We keep walking together.

  16. Shay Roberts Avatar
    Shay Roberts

    Returning as I’m working through the pinned posts again to say, I did listen and read the 1619 project and now I’m going to revisit that as well. I am not the same person that I was when I first encountered this resource, so I’m interested in going back to it again. As Lace said in her latest video on guidelines, when it comes to looking at academic stuff, you do not see the text as it is, but you see the text as you are. It’s always profitable to go back and see who I am now and compare and contrast it to who I was then. Profitable not just in terms of my education and betterment, but in e pursuit of our North Star.

  17. Shay Roberts Avatar
    Shay Roberts

    Kerri, I have also seen how my work here in this space has benefited my students. Not only by the topics and discussions that I now readily bring into our classroom, but also by becoming a safer, less violent person.

  18. Jennifer Epstein Avatar
    Jennifer Epstein

    I’ve been letting myself get blocked not having a sophisticated analysis at hand to challenge myths. I see how that’s an excuse. I know enough about major false narratives and false assumptions about history and achievement. I must keep learning, but my true shortcoming is in my lack of action. This essay shows that it is as simple as saying, “that is a myth.” Since this post was written, the John Lewis quote has been meme-ified, and I feel discomfort in embracing it. That’s something for me to think about more.

  19. Lacey Lipe Avatar
    Lacey Lipe

    I am reading back through the pinned posts and I somehow missed this one, so I’m very glad I caught it.
    I struggle with that “sense of curiosity” so much… my first instinct is to jump right in and tell someone the ways in which they are wrong rather than to follow Lace’s method of walking patiently with a person.
    I also love that you shared your age. Over the past week I’ve come across many ww using their disabilities (something I am familiar with from this page but which I’m also able to counter because of my own experience) and their age as an excuse for causing harm and being unable to engage in justice work.
    I plan to approach with a sense of curiosity, even though I know this is a weak area (having a supportive community which models this for me and also holds me accountable is so helpful!)…
    Thank you for sharing your wise words and all that you bring to this community.

  20. Kerri Fowlie Avatar
    Kerri Fowlie

    This highlights to me that I need to be more goal oriented and set deadlines for myself. Recently I’ve been side-tracked by life in general, and so have not been working through the posts. I recognise that I’m quite a lazy person, so my getting into “good trouble” requires more commitment than my theoretical agreement. As my working life picks up again and I spend more time researching topics of interest to my learners, these same learners will benefit from the work I do in this space. The 1619 Project has been in my “to do” list for months, but I’ve not moved forward with it. That is one thing I can set deadlines for doing, along with working through the pinned posts. I need to be better informed about the myths I’ve lazily accepted as reality in order to follow the North Star of Lace on Race. Thank you for sharing your hopes, Claire!

  21. Lee Avatar
    Lee

    Thank you Claire,
    I love the term ‘good trouble’, it’s been something I’ve been focusing on more and more recently. I’ve embarked upon uncomfortable conversations with my parents, friends, family and some distant friends in recent weeks. I’ve also defriended some on FB who I’ve little contact with (which I’ve since regretted because now they get to go unchallenged which I’ve since realised isn’t the best way forward to be an anti-racist).
    .
    I can’t say my approach has been consistent i.e. defriending people when I should be challenging them but I’m gaining more confidence around that and with that I’m taking more action as and when is needed.

  22. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    Also, one thing that’s really helped with my anxiety is learning to thank it when it surfaces. “Thank you, brain, for warning me that I feel danger here” instead of “why is my brain so broken??” So I’m also going to try thanking my discomfort. “Thank you, discomfort, for teaching me and helping me feel the way I need to feel right now. Thanks for letting me know I’m on the right track.”

  23. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    Thank you so much, Danielle! This is a really helpful reframing. So instead of seeking ways to make myself comfortable, I can remove comfort-seeking as my goal. That really helps because then when I’m NOT comfortable, I don’t feel like I’m failing. And you’re absolutely right that getting to a place where I’m not emotionally invested is the wrong place to be. These topics cause pain, I have caused pain, and I need to be able to sit in the truth and discomfort of that. It’s also really nice to know that I’m not the only one who has to CONSTANTLY check myself to decide if I’m withdrawing from an interaction because it’s genuinely unfruitful or if it’s due to fear. So my concrete goal to start today is to stop finding strategies to make myself comfortable, to let go of comfort as my goal, and to invest fully in feeling the discomfort that comes with this work. I will try on for a mantra, “My comfort is not the priority here.” And I will use those physical strategies you suggested for when the inevitable physical response begins. I really appreciate you taking the time to comment:) Have a wonderful day!

  24. Danielle Joy Holcombe Avatar
    Danielle Joy Holcombe

    I have been a conflict avoider my whole life too Megan. And it’s like an addiction so I can’t pretend I’m “cured”. In every interaction, I have to interrogate myself. Am I being honest here or am I trying to smooth things over? And when I don’t confront myself, I am ALWAYS trying to smooth things over. As to your physical-panic response, I think something a little different than a thicker skin is helpful. A thick skin implies that you can tolerate the blows of conflict without feeling the harm I guess – or people would say that it’s trying not to take something too personally. But after I spent some time in Lace on Race, I finally realized I’m not the one who needs protecting. I don’t need a thicker skin. I need a willingness to put my own skin in the game. The North Star of Lace on Race is to lessen and mitigate the harm to Black and Brown people, perpetuated by white people (including me). And when I shift my focus from off my own comfort and on to the North Star it helps me to remember the reason I’m in any particular conversation. It helps me align my behavior with my praxis. It helps me to remember that my comfort is not only irrelevant; but that in my act of seeking my own comfort, I am actually causing harm. I need to be the person I say I want to be and I need to speak truth – reliably – in order to be working to lessen and mitigate the harm.

    I’ve found it helpful to have an immediate plan for the physical activation (deep breathing, counting, pacing, etc.) first. Once my physical response has calmed, I can use reason to point myself back to the North Star.

  25. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    Beautiful call to action!! Thank you so much!

    I am continually trying to learn how to make good trouble in a way that feels safe for me. My whole life, I have been terrified of conflict. When I post a dissenting comment on Facebook, my heart starts pounding and my face gets flushed and sometimes I have to turn off the notifications because I’m so scared of what people will say. When people tell me I’m dumb and wrong, I always believe them. Raised voices cause a complete and utter shutdown and an uncontrollable physical panic response. All of these are remnants of an abusive childhood where staying silent was the only way to stay safe. And while it’s important for me to engage in ways that don’t trigger flashbacks, I NEED to learn how to stretch and grow into someone who can stand up for what I believe in and challenge racism whenever I see it. I would love tips on how to thicken my skin. Because it goes both ways—I’m afraid to put out things that might make people mad, but I’m also afraid of getting negative feedback because I feel like it means people don’t like me and I’m a bad person. But I have to learn to be less fragile and take correction and not center my own feelings in discussions where people’s actual physical safety is at risk. This will be a lifelong journey for me, I know, but I am committed to stretching in small ways every day so that I can stretch more and more and finally be brave!

  26. Michelle Salazar Avatar
    Michelle Salazar

    Thank you for sharing these thoughts and for the link to the 1619 Project. Your words prompt me to reconsider my own personal power to elicit change in my community. I don’t want to live my life with blinders on with regards to the history of my country. I sit here contemplating what I can do.

    My list doesn’t feel like much:
    -join a committee next time textbook or curriculum adoptions come up for the district I live in
    -read and discuss the 1619 Project together with my own family and share it with friends
    -work toward debunking the myths thrown at me by unwitting people in real life and online
    -actively deal with people who say that institutional racism does not exist by providing proof that it does

    I will continue to look for specific actions I can take. It’s not really enough for me to just wish or want things to be better. I actually have to do something. A few years ago, I considered going back to college to get a degree in Justice Studies or Policy Admin because I don’t know how to make much difference as just one person with no real power beyond my home or community. I will further contemplate this list.

  27. Jaime Avatar
    Jaime

    I am reflecting on the myths around me, and those that I have bought into without questioning, or that I have supported – like the myth of my exceptionalism, and the myth that this country was founded by great and principled men. I want to be willing to call them out when I see others believing them. Like others in this post, I fear I have a long way to go to know all the background. At the moment, I think I can at least watch for the myths that I believe, and ask these questions of myself. I can ask others “Why do you believe that?” and start to question the myths out loud as well. One question I am learning through my work here is “How do my actions or inactions in this moment hurt Black people” I could perhaps add, “Who is ignored and harmed through the way this myth is told?”

  28. Barb Chamberlain Avatar

    What Stacia Ilchena said about using “finesse” in my conversations with other white people like me really struck home with me. I’m privileged to be in a position where I can speak up and often do. I share data as context because I’m a profession where that buys me attention and credibility. I think about the framing and “meeting people where they are”, but does that mean in essence giving permission to STAY where they are, perfectly comfortable?

    All my life I’ve gotten points for having the answers. I’ve suggested to others that asking questions gives people space to grow into the answer in a way that lets them internalize more than if I hand them the information but I don’t think I do that myself as often as I could. Asking the question that invites people to reflect for themselves will take practice. Thank you Amy Asommer for the questions about upstream beliefs and downstream outcomes. that will give me an open-ended way in.

    As for the history we weren’t taught, I’m more angry about this every day. I started reading An Indigenous People’s History of the United States by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz, which like the 1619 Project gives us a history without the assumptions, lines on a map, and “triumphs” of white people. So much to learn, so much to unlearn. I commit to continuing to study and ask questions about why we think we know things and what we may not yet know.

  29. Michell Avatar
    Michell

    So interesting to read this in August – months after it was written with so much having happened in the world since January. Thinking on George Floyd’s murder and the protesting that is still happening. Reading about “good trouble” shortly after the death of Rep John Lewis. This reflection is even more timely now than it was in January. I love that you say you are 70 in 2020 and willing to step outside your comfort zone and do new things. You are never too old and it is never too late to get into good trouble. That gives me hope. That gives me inspiration to also get into good trouble. To speak out when I see and hear microaggressions and when I see a myth being regurgitated and upheld. I am still learning about some of those myths and I am still learning how to recognize those tendencies within me to harm. I will keep walking and building my muscles as I learn

  30. Kerri Fowlie Avatar
    Kerri Fowlie

    Thank you, Claire. These are great goals, well-explained and inspiring. “Good Trouble” scares me though, because I’ve never quite trusted my own judgement, while simultaneously never doubting my morality. So… things are going to have to change for me. I’m excited and frightened at the same time. I’m so happy to be in the company of people worth emulating that it makes me more determined to learn and to walk in the world employing the praxis of kind candor, making “good trouble.”

  31. J Crane Avatar
    J Crane

    The scholars who dispute the 1619 project reminds me that there is always some reaction to confrontation with new information. It reminds me of a conversation I had this weekend in which someone insisted that there opinion was centrist. But it’s only centrist if you discount the opinions of marginalized groups. Center moves once Black, brown and indigenous journalists get to tell the news from their perspective.

    As the pandemic continues and life gets even more difficult, good trouble is going to become increasingly important.

  32. Allison McGrath Avatar
    Allison McGrath

    Thank you for sharing the resource on the 1619 project. As I’ve learned more about the US’s actual history, I’ve grown progressively more horrified and saddened by the gaps in my education (I went to a ‘progressive’ ‘good’ school, and yet I learned more about the lives of a couple of white, female abolitionists than I did the entirety of the history of slavery and its realities in the US – and even that dive into these women’s lives was sanitized/simplified).

    Yet I will say that even as I’ve learned about the gaps, I have not taken it upon myself to pursue an educational plan as an adult that allows me to engage in speaking up from an informed place. This is something I resolve to address – not just reading texts but absorbing them, actually learning them, in a way that allows me to communicate the information effectively myself.

    I also resolve to speak up more in situations where there are stakes. I work in an industry (in-home care) where a lot of racism is tolerated, because we serve affluent clients, primarily white, a lot of whom have dementia. I need to speak up more when the balance tips into tolerating racism from people who do not have a medical disorder (e.g. clients’ family members), and when my coworkers slip into microaggressions towards our caregivers (e.g. not taking the time to pronounce a non-anglicized name correctly).

    I have not been willing to spend that capital in the past, and I know that does not say great things about me. I am resolving to change that moving forward. I do believe my coworkers in particular are compassionate people, and by speaking up I will be giving them the opportunity to grow/change. This industry already has major structural problems around exploitation of caregiver work (which is also something to fight against). We need to make sure we aren’t adding to the harm with our direct actions.

  33. Lace Watkins Avatar
    Lace Watkins

    I get to breathe Claire’s fragrance daily. It’s a blessing.

  34. Tonya S. Avatar
    Tonya S.

    Thank you Claire for a couple examples of how I can speak out from a place of kind candor when I see disappointing commentary or myths or fake news being shared by people that I am friend with or when I hear something like that in real life conversation. I need to be more involved in using my white privilege to hold people accountable as well as be more accountable myself.

    Education of American History glosses over so much or reports direct untruths and it is unfortunately up to us to seek out sources that provide additional education which can be both extremely jarring and enlightening. I will read both of the links you shared, thank you for providing that.

  35. Bethany Peabody Avatar
    Bethany Peabody

    Clare, this was the perfect post for me to read today. At one of my jobs, a group of us have come together to address what we see as a hesitancy by management to support anti-racism work. We could be wrong. There could be a sincere attempt that we simply are not seeing, but a confrontation is looming. We are meeting on Sunday to “get our words and clarity.” I really enjoyed reading your model/practice sentences calling out racism. I have taken the phrases and re-worked them in my own words, and I like how it sounds. That step has been challenging for me, especially because I don’t want to seem “aggressive”, but I also want to be firm and direct. I know we will be facing manipulation, and your words show the clarity I have been seeking. You really made some strong points that are irrefutable.
    I also particularly love that you are an elder in this community. My grandmother was a social worker until the day she died. She drove this old Honda with a “No Nukes” bumper sticker. I always admired how passionate she was for social justice causes. She was a delight to be around in my pre teen and teen years. And I feel that energy from you.
    Thank you for your leadership here.

  36. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    I have that fear as well, which is why I love what Clare says in her post about getting prepared AND making good trouble. I always want to have the ‘right’ answer, which causes me to delay engaging (or never to engage at all), and there will always be something I do not know. I need to make sure that my commitment to learning and being prepared does not stop me from speaking out now, even if it does get heated sometimes. It can seem like a lot, sometimes: building my knowledge base, developing my relational ethics tool box, and engaging in change in the world and with people in my life. But that’s what it would look like to live out what I say my values are. I’m not there yet, but I’ll keep stepping.

  37. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    Hi Julie, Is it ok if I push you a little bit on this?

  38. Alexander Lucas Avatar
    Alexander Lucas

    Hi Shay,

    What is hard with “good trouble” is dealing with what you don’t know.

    I got into a conversation with two people in an exercise group who I’ve known for a while. Politics and worldview had never come up, but the 1619 project came up. I had heard about it through the Daily Show and was interested but had failed to move past idle curiosity. Fast forwarding to my conversation, while I made an attempt to defend the intentions of the 1619 Project I neither had the background knowledge, nor, to be honest, the bravery to potentially change our relationship by standing up more fully to my belief.

    I regret that moment lost now, though at the time I self congratulated about how I didn’t let it pass completely unchallenged.

    For many white liberals, at least it’s true for me, confrontation is to be avoided when it can become heated. I backed down because I was afraid, but they were not afraid when they asserted that 1619 was a historical distortion.

  39. Julie Helwege Avatar
    Julie Helwege

    “Good trouble is on my horizon.” 2020 is a year of so much change for me (and our world). I am committed to getting into good trouble by doing deep and daily personal introspection. I will debunk myths and educate myself more fully on the history of our country, which will primarily include the voice and perspective of black and brown authors/historians; I will seek answers, be curious and not take words at face value. I will stand up and not remain quiet when white people are perpetuating harm to black and brown people. And I will name my own mistakes, biases and privilege as a white female – it’s no longer about my intent, it’s about my impact.

  40. Sara Schwanke Avatar
    Sara Schwanke

    Thanks Zoe. I read this article and it really spoke to me. I need to learn to regulate my bucket and I especially need to learn that it’s no one’s responsibility to carry my bucket. Every time my bucket overflows and I react negatively or poorly I’m causing harm. Reacting in anger, listening to respond opposed to listening to understand, becoming defensive or refusing to accept I am wrong, unwilling to take blame, are all tools I need to learn and are all ways I am being harmful. It’s up to me to make my bucket lighter and to cope appropriately and I want to be able to make the buckets of others lighter as well.

  41. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    So, I’ve been sitting here thinking about this. Because I WANT to agree. I like the gentleness approach. But I’ve begun questioning myself: Is that because I want to avoid conflict? If so, why? Or is it more about me being the ‘nice’ person and not wanting to make waves? In the relational ethics series we begin looking at kind candor, and I’ve been thinking on that a lot given something that happened about a week ago in my town as well as the J&K deluge on the page. I found myself wondering if kind candor has its, its place… Danielle said something to me about sometimes the kindest thing to do is to say it straight.

  42. Mischelle Kwa Avatar
    Mischelle Kwa

    This was a beautiful piece. I need to continue to engage in conversations that will cause conflict and good trouble. Some days it is easy but others I am exhausted, to walk away or remain silent is a choice, but I need to gather my last strength and stand strong. I am called to be an ally and I must. I try and remind myself that others need me to confront and engage, opposed to remain silent. Black and Brown people don’t get this choice, so I don’t want a choice either. I will cause good trouble.

  43. Zan Ross Avatar
    Zan Ross

    Thank you for explaining your approach. It is also mine, but it seems more often than not that an assertive approach is suggested. So I try it because it seems like it will go better. For me it rarely, if ever, does. But what you describe… it requires more patience on my part because the effects are not immediate. Still, it works better for me and sits easier in my heart. It’s good to be reminded I’m not the only one.

  44. Julia G. Avatar
    Julia G.

    I love this piece. It’s essential for every woman to find her voice and use it. This caught my attention: “I am going to say to anyone who shows me that she needs to reflect more, ‘You need to reflect on what you say, on the consequences of what you say, on the misinformation you are spreading.’” An assertive approach doesn’t work for me. People shut down, the end. What does work is to talk about what I’m learning and thinking about. Then I listen to the other person, really listen. If I don’t understand their reasoning I ask questions. The next time I see that person, their views have changed, become more inclusive and self-evaluating. Gentleness works best for me.

  45. Christina Sonas Avatar
    Christina Sonas

    Well, my best skills are in writing and research, so I thought to inquire whether/where that would be of service to organizations serving and led by BIPOC: grant and legislative writing, desktop publishing, that sort of thing. Just because I think that is my most valuable offering doesn’t mean an organization might want me to serve in another way, though, and I’m game for anything. I also want to give service at both the structural level and at what might be called the direct action level? I see the former as work toward longer term goals, and the latter about immediate impact. There I think my best skills are in parenting, childcare, education, so I will look for an organization that supports in those areas. I’m adding both of those to my action list right now.

  46. Catherine Seaver Avatar
    Catherine Seaver

    Hi Christina, I’m curious about how this will look for you. What will be difficult for you?

  47. Catherine Seaver Avatar
    Catherine Seaver

    “I am preparing myself to say these things and to back them up. I know the difference between my own inner feelings and values, and facts and reality outside myself. My goal is to respond with clear facts. ”

    Claire, I so appreciate your direct and to the point reflection. Since reading this I’ve thought of your phrases that you are ready to say when confronted with racism many times and realize that being ready with facts to back them up is so crucial. I’m grateful for these links and also know that these resources were totally available to me before doing work here at Lace on Race and that they were something I didn’t choose to delve into, did not educate myself on. My husband already purchased the 1619 curriculum from the NYT and I haven’t read it – I’m noticing this quick tilt towards shame and want to stay useful, so I’m going to start reading each morning as part of my work here, so I’m prepared for good trouble – doing the work so black and brown people experience less havoc and harm for me.

  48. Jessie Lee Avatar
    Jessie Lee

    Konstanze, that’s interesting how you’ve experienced the finger pointing in Germany and Switzerland. You are so right that it’s so much easier to do this, because then we don’t have to confront it in ourselves. I will keep engaging my friends and family, too, and coming back here for the support after I’ve gotten into “the good trouble.” I’m grateful for your company on this walk.

  49. Konstanze Avatar
    Konstanze

    I will work on transferring your words into my surroundings (I am German and Swiss and spent the first half of my life in Germany and now a bit more than the second half in Switzerland). The lies I was told about my own countries’ histories are just as uncomfortable to dismantle. (for example: We were taught that we got rid of the Nazis after the war. Everybody wants to believe that their grandparents were some of the good people. Further back in history, but not by much – We were not taught about our colonial history and the genocides we commited then. We are not taught about how we still profit from it until this day). Fingerpointing is so much easier, and we do that a lot over here, try to externalize racism to the US. That needs to stop and I will keep engaging my friends and family, and keep getting into “good trouble” for it.
    Sometimes this kind of engagement costs us people we consider friends and family. But neither their nor our comfort is worth to be protected over the safety of Black people and lessening the harm we do.

  50. Christina Sonas Avatar
    Christina Sonas

    What I appreciate most about your words, Claire, is that they model so strongly the intentionality with which we are encouraged to do this work in order to keep improving: explicit goals, and a clear strategy for how to meet them, all in service to reduce White harm. Under the domination of White supremacy, “reduce White harm” and “get into good trouble” sound like synonyms to me.

  51. Jessie Lee Avatar
    Jessie Lee

    Your first thought- “the amount of reflection required of white women so we stop creating havoc and harm in the world” is stirring up some of that “good shame” in me. I’ve always been prone to dealing with stress by retreating inward. Pivot to race: reflecting on hard topics in isolation or with trusted friends who won’t challenge me too much (which also seems kinda like isolation) makes me uselessly self-aware if my actions are still perpetuating harm in the same old ways. Thanks for offering an antidote to that here, Claire. I am preparing for a family zoom call on Friday that I know will involve talking about racism and get heated. In our last zoom I went in with a plan to engage in good trouble and my family ended up having a 2 hour discussion about racism. The conversation was a sort of milestone, but there is sooooo much more good trouble to engage in. Before I go into that meeting, I am planning to educate myself and lightly rehearse some responses to myths that I anticipate will come up. My question is how we challenge those myths in a fruitful way? I’m learning so much here I’m tempted to just word vomit it all over the place, which seems like more of a check in the box thing than a legitimate challenging of racism.

  52. Renee Avatar
    Renee

    Oh no! I wrote a reply and then accidentally left the page. I think I said this:

    I like the idea of using stories to remember information. Stories and/or another way to help it stick. I will look for ways to incorporate stories and see if other ways are helpful too. I think I too, often rely on my passion on a topic to get through to people but without facts or information, we just end up arguing.

    Thank you for the compliment. I appreciate it. I also found myself feeling a little embarrassed about celebrating such a small victory. (Maybe it’s not small – my mom and i don’t communicate about feelings). I know that I would give the same compliment/encouragement to anyone here or to a friend outside of this space, but I worry a little that I’m looking for approval/congratulations. I don’t think I am, but I wonder a bit if it’s internalized desire for approval/validation. Anyway, thank you and I will keep thinking about this and speaking up.

  53. Zan Ross Avatar
    Zan Ross

    Renee – My mind works much the same way. I can quickly grasp and retain the gist of something, but have a really hard time with facts and figures. Which can make some conversations feel futile. Sometimes my passion on a subject is enough to stand the gap… or maybe people “agree” just to get me to shut up. I don’t know.

    I did realize while thinking about your reply that I retain things much better when they are stories that I can visualize. I can still imagine a fight scene from Richard Wright’s Native Son and feel the heartache I felt when I first read it over 30 years ago. I could not tell you the name of the protagonist, who beat him, where, or why. I can guess and I might be right, but not with enough confidence to argue a point about it. However, now that I am (long) out of school and can learn how I want to learn, I intend to make a point of finding ways to get information to stick so I can have intelligent conversations that are not solely fueled by passion.

    An aside over the word your mother used… Gypsy is my middle name. I was born in the early 70’s and my parents wanted me to love travel. (Thank goodness they dreamed up Zan or my first name would be Gypsy!) I only found out that it is also a slur sometime in the past five years or so. I haven’t used the word or its variants for anything other than my own name since I was a kid, but man… as much as I love my name, I am really hesitant to tell people anymore what the G. stands for and generally leave it out unless it’s required.
    As much as I would like rules over language to be clear cut, it isn’t always. (Most of the time, but not always.)

    I think that celebrating small victories in a lifelong battle, especially when those small victories bolster your courage to keep fighting, are not the same as “patting yourself on the back.” You took a hard step and are ready to take more. Well begun. 🙂

  54. Shay Roberts Avatar
    Shay Roberts

    “White supremacy is woven into the entire history of the US.” While this is not the first time that I have heard this about American history, I still feel like I don’t know what I don’t know. I’ve heard about how white-washed history is but I haven’t done the deep digging, the work and research to find out what specifically that meant. I’m grateful for the sharing of the 1619 Project and am committing to using this resource to re-educate myself (and those around me) on US history, looking and examining the white supremacy myths that I have learned. I resolve to not default to the “less-brain work” option by accepting what I’ve been told but to ask questions, reflect, research, analyze, and share/speak out in my real life circles.

  55. Renee Avatar
    Renee

    Zan, I connect to what you said about being quiet b/c of not knowing the facts and not wanting to spread misinformation. I too, am guilty of this. I feel like I forget specific facts in other areas too and retain the ‘gist.’ So when I need to argue with someone about racism/discrimination related topics, I know this shit is wrong, but won’t remember some of the historical facts, etc. As I’m typing, I feel like this points to my own inaction in just swallowing what I’ve been handed and remembering the narrative I’ve been fed. I need to do better in looking for, and ‘studying’ the information so I can remember it. I will mention a small celebration in talking to someone about racism. My mom used the word ‘gypped’ today and I got the sense that she didn’t know what it meant. I will be honest and admit that I used this word too, cluelessly, and did not learn until embarrassingly late about the origins of the word. My mom and I are not very close and she responds pretty negatively to being ‘criticized’ so I was very nervous about saying something. I don’t think I would have said something if I didn’t have LoR ringing in my ears. I would rather avoid my discomfort, which is nothing, compared to the black and brown people who are dying and are threatened daily. So I said something to her, when we were alone, b/c i think that helped her not be defensive and I explained what it meant and that I learned it late. It actually went pretty well. I don’t like to ‘pat myself on the back’ but it was a step for me and makes me have a tiny bit more courage about doing it with her again.

  56. Leah Gallo Avatar
    Leah Gallo

    Hi Christin, thanks for responding. I’m fairly new to my education. I started with Layla F Saad and she does a section on White Fragility which is when I decided to buy it. I didn’t actually know it was a white author until after I bought it because I stupidly didn’t do the research. And it did disappoint me to find that out while listening. But conversely it has helped me have a better understanding of the concept. It IS frustrating that white people are more willing to read white authors. But if black authors are referencing it, is it wrong to read the source material? Or is it just important to A) be conscious of what we are buying as consumers and B) if we are going to buy a white author’s book on racism we dang well better buy and support a lot more black authors as well. And if we only have money for one book then buy a black author. I am buying more books than would normally feel comfortable but I’m trying to take the financial engagement seriously. And I’m being more careful in my future purchases – no more ‘oh, I didn’t know she was white.’ How lame of me.

    I recently read an article by a black man who said he felt he was caught in a time loop with his white friends – where they do things like join book clubs (guilty!) and other token gestures but then fade away after a few weeks. I am so determined not to be that person ghosting. Realising how disappointing and harmful we white people are has been an eye opener. He wrote something that really struck me – that he understands white people get conflicting information – stand up, sit down, speak out, don’t speak out, check in with black friends, don’t check in with black friends. But his point was that white people can figure it out because black people are dizzy and exhausted from constantly striving for equality but they manage it. So I think it’s our duty to figure it out – all of it, all of the confusing aspects – so that we may be better, more consistent, resilient allies, and it’s why I am so glad I found this space. Thanks for walking with me through this.

  57. Amy Sechrist Avatar
    Amy Sechrist

    I’m at a point where I’m willing to walk further into conflict for the sake of the truth, and for the sake of black and brown lives, so this post was most welcome, Claire. And Mr. Lewis’ phrase “good trouble” adds some humor. I believe he’s been arrested 40+ times, which is no laughing matter. But there is an affection in his phrase. And that appeals to me, with my great fear of conflict. The affection asks, “What’s the worst that could happen if you speak up?” The worst will likely not happen, the way it did for Breonna Breonna Taylor or Sandra Bland. The worst for this white woman will likely be hurt feelings and ended relationships. Those are prices I can easily pay. I need to get on with it.

  58. Stacia Ilchena Avatar
    Stacia Ilchena

    I let out an audible cheer when I read “I’ll know them when I see them, and I’m going in.”

    I’m disappointed with my own finesse in real life discussions about race, almost all of which are with other white people. Am I trying to put someone in their place? Embarrass them? Educate them? Aside from the occasional wave of l’esprit de l’escalier, I fall flat, don’t get up, don’t learn. Continue to blame the other person for their ignorance, without taking responsibility for my own.

  59. Devon Avatar
    Devon

    “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” I imagine this applies not just to women but to all people. Making good trouble seems like a good place to start and explore making changes so history does not continue as it is currently being written. I will join you in making 2020 a year of good trouble. I will talk to people of what I know and think so we can grow together.

  60. Devon Avatar
    Devon

    “History as reshaped and recreated by white people in power is reprehensible.” These words remind me of a phrase I heard often growing up: “History is written by the winners.” It is sickening, so much is lost in the whitewashing of history. History books are truly a prime example as every American student had to learn U.S. History. There is a museum where I live that has comparisons of history books from around the world. Some books had a single sentence mentioning an event, another several paragraphs, but none of the books shown could communicate a fuller human experience. As one progresses through the artifacts, recreations, written and video testimony the true horror that is in this museum the Battle of Okinawa becomes apparent. I want to take this lesson deeply inside and apply it to life back in the U.S. Don’t trust the history books, get first hand accounts, see and touch where you can. The more real I can make the experience of being a BIPOC in the U.S., the more I can commit myself to being a better ally.

  61. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    Hey Leah – For some reason it won’t let me respond to you below re White Fragility. I haven’t started it yet, but I did buy it and I’m upset I bought it. I see many black activists questioning why we’re more willing to listen to white people speak for them (and, worse, more likely to pay white people for it) (we see that here in our community where Lace will ask one of the admins step in so that someone will be more apt to hear). I caved and bought it because I know that’s what others in my life are reading and I want to be able to speak with them. There’s a group of white women who are reading it together and the concern that I’ve expressed in the group is what Lace said in her most recent (?) video about our being in a ww vacuum. I suggested that if that is the book we continue with that the requirement is also to bring in writing/podcast/etc by black voices each week to deepen the conversation and keep us on the path.

  62. Leah Gallo Avatar
    Leah Gallo

    I like your comment about educating through the voice of bipoc. How do you think a book like White Fragility ties into that? Even the author admitted the paradox of writing the book while wanting to amplify black voices.

  63. Zan Avatar
    Zan

    I love this. I hope someday soon to be well-informed enough to do this same thing. Already I am sharing every day on Facebook the things I am learning. (I realize that’s not nearly enough… I do not have a social circle IRL right now, which is another thing I am actively working on.)

    I am just beginning to clue into the rhetoric I see and hear from other people. When I have facts to discuss, I do. When I can explain or inquire into thought processes, I do. Very often, I remain silent because not only do I not want to “engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person,” I am well aware that when it comes to facts on racial issues, I am as yet pathetically unarmed. I don’t want to make things worse by offering misinformation or highly charged arguments with little roots in facts or logic.

    As I continue to learn, I intend to continue to use my new-found knowledge to get into good trouble. This article is inspiring. Thank you

  64. Tiffany Hunter Avatar
    Tiffany Hunter

    Done.
    Feeling inspired by this and especially grateful for the modeling and words I can use in those situations. They feel very ‘do-able’. I have taken on these discussions but I don’t think it’s been very fruitful. Your ideas feel like they would work more. Also, I see that I’ve not been armed with enough facts. To make this information not about me or personal, but about reality and facts.

  65. april Avatar
    april

    Like Kati the phrase “the amount of reflection required of white women so we stop creating havoc and harm in the world” struck me. As a white woman, socialized in the south as a “lady” I like to view myself (and other women like me) as kind, polite, thoughtful, compassionate, and NEVER, NEVER rude or unkind and certainly not someone who creates havoc. Coming to grips with the reality of how my ‘nice whiteness’ has the potential to injure people of color in my sphere is hard. This is where I think reading stories and listening to the lived experiences of people of color is helpful. For example, as a ‘nice’ white woman, if I see another white woman and her hair looks good, I tell her, hey your hair looks great! However, based on what I’ve learned black and brown women are tired of having white women talk about/ bring attention to/ask to touch (and in some cases not even ask for permission to touch)their hair. Retraining ourselves is really hard, but essential, is what I took away from this article.

  66. Zoe Avatar
    Zoe

    Hi Rebecca, what will that look like for you? What will be difficult?

  67. Rebecca Avatar
    Rebecca

    Thank you Claire for your work. It is helpful to be reminded of the perception of American individualism. I’m beginning to recognize just how much of my personality is wrapped up in the myth that my successes are due to my own qualities. I’m resolving to actively and publicly recognize others whose efforts have made our successes possible both in my personal and professional life.

  68. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    I also love what Clare says about preparation for these moments: “I am preparing myself to say these things and to back them up.” That’s a lot of active work, and it’s vital. I also find in myself that fear that once I get started in the conversation, I won’t know enough to keep it going. So I’m working on dedicated time to educate myself through the voices of bipoc

  69. Leah Gallo Avatar
    Leah Gallo

    Thank you, Zoe. I will work on acknowledging the ‘whoosh’ and then planting my feet and being brave!

  70. Zoe Avatar
    Zoe

    Lace talks about “the whoosh”, when blood rushes to your head, or your palms get sweaty, when someone says something that challenges you, or you contemplate challenging them. She tells us to notice when we get “the whoosh”, and allow it to have its moment, but not to run away then. I should plant my feet, take a breath, get a little braver. As a white person I have way less to lose by speaking up in person about racism than a POC does. This is praxis, and it gets easier.

  71. Leah Gallo Avatar
    Leah Gallo

    I really appreciate your last sentences about how playing by the rules means enjoying it all. I think this is a subconscious part of my fear about speaking up – that I will be ostracised- and I realise now it plays into this idea of ‘if I don’t speak up I don’t risk anything and I can enjoy my life.’ Once I acknowledge and analyse this thought, it’s kinda horrifying – accepting others oppression for my own comfort.

  72. Leah Gallo Avatar
    Leah Gallo

    Thank you, Claire, for sharing your goals. I have started getting into ‘good trouble’ on social media – even making my posts public and opening them up to people outside of my circle, but I have a much harder time translating this into a physical space – even with the very same people I have discussions with on Facebook. It’s an excellent resolution to bring this good trouble into my environment and one I need to follow. It’s twofold my fear – fear of conflict and how it might damage my relationships or lead to embarrassment, and inability to think quickly enough. I have always been better with written words, when I have time to think, than when put on the spot. My brain is slow and freezes when my adrenaline kicks in. All of these fears I need
    to set aside. For one, a strong relationship should be able to survive such discussions, and my fear of embarrassment is meaningless in the greater scheme. Also, I will never become better at in person discussions without pushing through the discomfort and learning through action. These fears are centering, and I need to put the community ahead of myself, holding resolute inside me the greater good of spreading awareness.

  73. Angela Avatar
    Angela

    The idea of the reflection needed to stop creating harm as a white woman stood out to me, too. The additional idea of “impact over intent” gives me even more to think about – reflecting on the likely impact of our words and not just our intent. I hope to get better at that, and at figuring out what good trouble might look like.

  74. Zoe Brookes Avatar
    Zoe Brookes

    Thanks for this thoughtful response. I’ve been asking this in many places, not to invite performative lists, but to remind folk that concrete steps are necessary. In my own life, I am finding the words – after some long slow cooking – to begin conversations with neighbors and groups too.

  75. Megan Danforth Avatar
    Megan Danforth

    Next is this, I suppose Zoe; I am committing to a daily anti-racist practice which involves education (currently listening to Ibrahm Kendi’s How to Be an Anti-racist), actions (engaging in conversations with family regarding strategies for creating more positive impact through investing in new economies that cultivate racial equity, participating in local conversations entitled Deconstructing Whiteness, taking local actions lead by cultural leaders) and deepening into my own self-inquiry and healing internal patterns of thinking and behavior that prevent me from participating as fully as I can in the effort towards a more equitable and peaceful society. I have been actively on this path for a couple years but have taken my commitment and resolve to a new level. I am spending a few hours each day on the work in all its aspects. My next is my now. And I don’t want to burn out, I want to slow cook. Joining this community has certainly called me to task on my level of dedication and I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed but it’s okay. I am listening and responding to the call for white people, especially those in positions of influence and with significant resources (not only in skills but in finances), to organize themselves and do the work. I’ve also called together a local group of white women of means to come together and have the hard conversations, educate themselves, and take informed action.

  76. Seanna Avatar
    Seanna

    Thank you! I will make sure to check that out.

  77. Zoe Brookes Avatar
    Zoe Brookes

    Megan you are clearly starting to look at yourself. What’s next for you?

  78. Megan Danforth Avatar
    Megan Danforth

    Also, this:
    … she can just barely believe that Americans organize so much of our lives around individualism when it is so obviously a delusion. We – Americans, all of us – really have no idea how bizarre, rude, inhuman, and unnatural we look to the rest of the world, sunk in this belief system.
    This is so true. And we are so enculturated into this delusion and rudeness! I see it in my self-absorption, in my constant engagement with self-improvement, actually, constant inquiry into my work satisfaction or curating my relationships. And there’s obviously privilege here, to be able to spend the time considering all these things about ‘me’ all the time. Oh, for pete’s sake!

  79. Megan Danforth Avatar
    Megan Danforth

    Absolutely love the energy, the joy, the anticipation that oozes from your words here, Claire. You’ve really captured a vitality and aliveness to doing this work, which can often feel heavy and daunting and insurmountable. Reading your words felt like effervescent bubbles bursting from my heart with excitement and better readiness for getting into ‘good trouble’. Yes! Yes! Yes!

  80. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    Lace calls those hackles our whoosh (that rush of emotion that screams right in). In the relational ethics series here and in the pinned posts on the facebook, we learn how to sit and work through that whoosh to be able to listen and engage. I’ve noticed the same with you, there must be balance and this is an endless cycle, but one we must keep doing.

  81. Leah Clark Avatar
    Leah Clark

    I’m continually struck, as I’m making my way through these Guidelines posts, by how often my hackles instinctively rise when I am confronted by a challenge to something I have always believed simply because I was told early on that it was true.
    I’m beginning to realize (much as I have been forced to do so in other areas of my life) that, when this happens, it’s because I’m supposed to look at what is being said. Really look, reflect, and consider a different possibility.
    I’m also noticing that there has to be a balance in this. I have to reflect, but then I have to act. And then reflect on my actions, and then go further.

  82. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    Seanna – There’s also a 1619 podcast that I would recommend

  83. Seanna Avatar
    Seanna

    Thank you for this! I recently started reading the 1619 project, that you mention, and have found it so important. I am saddened and sickened by how many gaps and falsehoods are in the history lessons I was taught.

  84. Zoe Brookes Avatar
    Zoe Brookes

    Nice reflection. So….what’s your next step?

  85. Zoe Brookes Avatar
    Zoe Brookes

    I’m glad to know this landed for you. I have had to work hard to learn how to come from a place of loving kindness in order to address the hardest work. As soon as I get reactive, the effort’s usually wasted.

  86. Zoe Brookes Avatar
    Zoe Brookes

    Hi Julia, another woman over 50 who wasn’t paying attention before, here. You say that 2020 has been a year of bs. Hard to disagree. What changed for you inside? Why? How were you in 2019 that meant you weren’t paying attention, and what can you do to hold onto the new you that’s listening? We need you!

  87. Zoe Brookes Avatar
    Zoe Brookes

    It can feel very scary to be the one to start. When I feel the “clench”, I try to hold in my mind that the work I’m doing will reduce harm, rather than focus on what I stand to lose.

  88. Zoe Brookes Avatar
    Zoe Brookes

    I recognize this journey. I embarked upon this work with righteous anger (with other white people) bubbling over. This piece on relational ethics resounded very strongly for me: https://laceonrace.com/index.php/2019/10/02/relational-ethics-series-introduction-to-terry-real/

  89. Zoe Brookes Avatar
    Zoe Brookes

    What might “good trouble” look like for you? Claire makes some very specific commitments – note the definitiveness of “I am going to….”. That’s inspiring for me. What can you commit to in addition to listening? I’m thinking we need a billion small acts.

  90. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    Hey Julia – I struggle with this question a lot. Have you gone through the Relational Ethics series in the pinned posts? I wonder if you’d come to a different conclusion after those

  91. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    “what are the upstream beliefs and downstream results you’re endorsing?” this is a great question to ask. thanks

  92. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    Hi Katie – I’m seeing a lot of myself in what you’ve written, particularly your ending declaration. I’ve been thinking a lot about what follows my declarations and reflecting on how Lace has rightly called us out for our (as a community) performative and ineffectual declarations of being “all in.” I’m still learning a lot about turning my declarations into action. Would you be willing to share how you’re doing that?

  93. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    “Who am I hurting by not questioning this?”
    I love this – thank you

  94. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    Something that I learn over and over in this community and no elsewhere is ‘impact over intent.’ I can wound with words and do so with immediacy when I’m activated and speak without thinking. I’ve been reflecting on what my apologies have looked like after those moments, and how I “didn’t mean it” or “wasn’t thinking straight.” And while, sure, that was true, that doesn’t mean I’m not responsible for the pain I caused or for being the one to initiate repairing the damage I’ve done. Thanks for your reminder to take that responsibility.

  95. Tammy Denlinger Avatar
    Tammy Denlinger

    Thank you, thank you for this! I feel like I have permission to get into some “good trouble” and that feels dangerous and a bit exciting. The Atlantic article was worth the read. I am listening.

  96. Katie Peige Avatar
    Katie Peige

    Thank you Claire for this essay. I am reading and listening to a lot of podcasts of this issue. There are so many myths and that was by design. The idea of American individualism for white people only applies to white people. I learned this yesterday from Dr. Kendi as white people are talked about as individuals and BIPOC are talked about as a monolith group which creates stereotypes and myths for continued white power. So it feels like a paradox that we need to recognize people as individuals so that we have empathy to lead us to collective action and anti-racist policies. So this individual fear leads to community pain and suffering rather than the courage to do the work for the betterment of our community. I am here in this safe-ish place to do less harm to Black and brown people. I am learning about the myths and listening to the ideas and know that I will go back and forth in the cycle of change and will be getting into good trouble.

  97. Kati Paul Avatar
    Kati Paul

    What stood out to me was your phrase right toward the beginning, “the amount of reflection required of white women so we stop creating havoc and harm in the world.” Reflection is required. If I’m really going to show my black friends that I love them, I have to constantly reflect on my thoughts, words, and actions so that I do not cause them harm. I, as a white woman who is generally very outspoken, am not used to reflecting on how my words will be received. I have undoubtedly hurt my friends with my unreflective words many times. One part of me is complaining that it is haaaaard to think before I speak, and I have so many things to saaaaay, but I am deciding that love for others is more important than my own childish desire to center myself.

  98. Pallavi Chandna Avatar
    Pallavi Chandna

    Hi Claire, thank you for your article. I’m reflecting the most on “It takes less brain-work to accept what we are told than it does to inquire, to ask why, to think it through, to get more information, to conduct analysis. . . that makes sense. But it explains why so much obvious misinformation gets passed around and repeated until it seems true.” It is so much less exhausting to just take what other people tell you as the truth. However, by not questioning the status quo, I have to ask myself, “Who am I hurting by not questioning this?” I’ve had so many years of not pushing back at the racist statements of some friends and some family, because over time I would call it out, I would get shut down and they would get incredibly defensive. But by giving up so easily, I gave them the message that what they were saying was normal and okay.

  99. Shauna Anderson Avatar
    Shauna Anderson

    It is hard to think. It’s hard to dig deeper and do the research. So much easier to just eat what we are fed. I’m busy, not a lot of time to research that, I tell myself. I don’t have time for that conversation, I have work to do, I tell myself. I need to stop being lazy and do the hard work. And more importantly, not give up when it becomes hard.

  100. Katie Ballinger Avatar
    Katie Ballinger

    This really resonated for me. Like other white women on this feed, I have also struggled not to let my emotions get in the way when talking about racism. And then suddenly the conversation becomes about me. I am ready to do better. I am ready to stir things up!

  101. Sara Schwanke Avatar
    Sara Schwanke

    Claire this was a fantastic piece to read. Thank you. I find that when I hear someone engaging in a harmful pattern of thinking or staying a myth I immediately respond with anger. I become angry at their lack of empathy and compassion and I become angry about the harmful spread of misinformation. I found when I become angry they push back harder and become so defensive. It makes me even angrier to see them double-down on the harmful patterns or misinformation. The responses you have provided are graceful and asking people to reflect and question. This piece helped me realize I need to control my anger when getting into good trouble because it isn’t helpful in starting and continuing dialect around injustices that POC face every single day.

  102. Lexie Mc Avatar
    Lexie Mc

    Claire- thank you for your essay. I am a teacher, and I am regularly confronted with people who need to reflect (including myself. Still looking for an accountability partner in the workplace). My challenge isn’t to look for the good trouble, it’s the bravery to start the good trouble. It is difficult (but worth it) to engage with someone when they believe that because they work with black and brown students that they are anti-racist.

    Thank you for the links to equip us with more facts. My feelings rarely come out articulate or convince anyone if anything.

  103. Julia Avatar
    Julia

    Thank you Claire! I hope you’re getting into good trouble. I have to agree that 2020 has been a year of bs. I see more misinformation and true idiocy than I ever have before. Maybe I wasn’t paying attention but I am now. I want to keep getting more and more educated too. Thank you for the links to those articles. Arming ourselves with facts is important even when it can be exhausting to argue with some people. You are an inspiration for us over 50 women to keep learning and getting ourselves into good trouble.

  104. Jeanine Avatar
    Jeanine

    Thank you for these thoughts, Claire. I sought this space out because I need to learn to be ok with good trouble. I’m very introverted, and although I can discuss racism, gender, religion, politics, etc with one person at a time, I shut down in groups or avoid them altogether. If my audience is not receptive at least enough to engage in a civil conversation with me, I tend to throw up my hands and walk away muttering, distancing myself from those people instead of persisting. Recent events have persuaded me that I need to try harder. You have given me a couple of ideas for how to have those conversations.

  105. Kristen Colvin Avatar
    Kristen Colvin

    It is so easy to accept the information right in front of your face, but so important to look for your own information. I accept your challenge!

  106. Michaella Avatar
    Michaella

    Thank you Claire. This really resonates with me as a person who is also ready to seek truth, recognize myths, and get into good trouble. I want to disrupt my own patterns of thinking and challenge others to do the same. I’m grateful for this community, the responsibility and accountability that I am bound to, because I can’t do it alone.

  107. Clare Steward Avatar
    Clare Steward

    Hi Claire, it’s Clare and I thank you for sharing your thoughts. History as reshaped and recreated by white people in power is reprehensible. It is going to take work to dig in to the truth and I am grateful for the links you provided…..so much to read and digest and understand. I read an article today regarding the Tulsa race massacre that was left out of the history books I grew up on. So much has been covered up and shoved aside and glossed over to reinforce the narrative of America being the land of the free and the home of opportunity. What I failed to understand in my younger years was that this can be the reality for white people but the cards are heavily stacked against everyone else. It’s baked in to the system, who should succeed and who is oppressed. The more I engage in conversation with people of color, the more I learn that my vision of America is tainted and based on lies. I’m questioning everything.

  108. Kelly Avatar
    Kelly

    All the comments here are so encouraging, as was this piece… encouraging in the way of important recognition. It’s too easy to challenge people you hardly know or respect, more difficult to dig into relationships where confronting ways we white people do harm – in retelling harmful untruths e.g. – has actual consequences. Committing to the work is about developing resilience, I’m learning here, but also about giving things up. I don’t have the perfect language for what I mean. I don’t mean sacrifice which implies some sort of gift. I mean relinquishing the type of domination and control that white supremacy gives me. If I play by the rules, I can enjoy it all. At the cost of others.

  109. India van Voorhees Avatar
    India van Voorhees

    Excellent essay. Thank you.

  110. Jes B Avatar
    Jes B

    I have no problem getting into “good trouble” with complete strangers or casual acquaintances, but have failed to decrease harm done to people of color by my own family, and I appreciate the words that you use here to challenge people on their narrative. I also don’t say anything when I myself am the target of racism from others, and perhaps I was buying into a narrative that “they don’t know any better” and “they’re really a good person underneath”.

  111. Morgan Leigh Callison Avatar

    I commit more deeply to getting into this kind of trouble this year and forever more! Thank you for your insights and time that it took to write this post. It is much appreciated.

  112. Mariana W. Avatar
    Mariana W.

    Read. As I get further into these articles, my gratitude for Lace and other contributors grows immensely. I have avoided “good trouble” for many years, and in the past when willing to stick my toe into good trouble’s waters, I was ignorant to how I could be helpful. Part of me doubts that I’ll ever get there…but quitting and giving up perpetuates white supremacy and shows how much privilege I really have.

  113. Amanda Swartfager Avatar
    Amanda Swartfager

    Oh, good trouble. You are an inspiration. I’m usually able to instigate, but can’t follow through. I love your question about belief and consequences and am starting by asking myself your question when it comes to my own beliefs.

  114. Amanda Swartfager Avatar
    Amanda Swartfager

    I also loved this. I’m starting by asking myself this question.

  115. Ashley Avatar
    Ashley

    Thank you. I appreciate the language you’ve shared to use when asking others to reflect on their actions / words. I find asking anyone to reflect often catches them off guard. They expect an immediate argument or engagement in what has been said so they can defend themselves; instead asking them to reflect on words and consequences forces a pause and creates an opening. I also want to incorporate this into questioning myself, when I catch myself saying or thinking things antithetical to my anti-racism praxis.

  116. Amy asommer Avatar
    Amy asommer

    Read.
    Loved the Q “what are the consequences of this [belief/statement/practice]”. I look forward to asking it and truly stepping up to do the patient work of walking another human thru the steps – if you believe or say x, what are the upstream beliefs and downstream results you’re endorsing? Are you sure you’re comfortable with all those?

  117. Christin Spoolstra Avatar
    Christin Spoolstra

    “I am preparing myself to say these things and to back them up”

    I often stop myself from ‘making good trouble’ but I think I’d lose in the conversation. The reason is because I haven’t prepared myself to back them up. That shows misalignment, and I need to fix it.

  118. Maggie Avatar
    Maggie

    From the Atlantic article you shared:
    “Americans need to believe that, as Martin Luther King Jr. said, the arc of history bends toward justice. And they are rarely kind to those who question whether it does.”

    Plays right into your words about myth and legends. I have fooled myself before into thinking I knew enough. Maybe (hopefully?) there aren’t many history teachers anymore who romanticize slavery; however, the downplay is everywhere both in the U.S. education system and outside of it. “It was a different time” – as though this somehow excuses people from immorality, like they really didn’t know better. Or that it’s okay because they were “good” slaveowners just because there was no whipping or deprivation of shelter or food. Myths. Lies. Legends. Stories – told by white people, for white people.

    Thank you for this.

  119. Julia Avatar
    Julia

    It’s more decentering ourselves, I think. The idea that we need to keep people who propagate racist falsehoods in our lives so that we can talk them around has, I think, been empirically proven false by the fact that people are still propagating that stuff. It’s been a cover for us (me, liberal white folk) not wanting to feel the discomfort of telling people they’re wrong and limiting/cutting off contact.

  120. Rebecca Avatar
    Rebecca

    Thank you for the encouragement to get in “good trouble”, while there are other areas of my life I easily do that, how often do I do that regards to race? Your words “It takes less brain-work to accept what we are told than it does to inquire, to ask why, to think it through, to get more information, to conduct analysis” also stands out to me. How often I default to the easier path than the path less traveled, an embodiment of my white privilege.

  121. Karen Avatar
    Karen

    Yes to what you and the commenters are saying. I want to question my own ignorance, belief in myths, I reflect on what I say and learn more about the fragility i use to serve myself and the harm I perpetuate. I want to talk about these things with my communities outside of here, my new community Lace on Race. I want to let go of performance and “wanting to be the good student” and embrace what is real and messy and harmful. I notice that while I have believed I was committed to living my values, I was not taking active steps to learn about the racism in me and the harm I cause. This community is Albert different than anything I’ve been a part of. I’m fascinated, curious, willing, eager, frightened, and so grateful.

  122. Megan H Avatar
    Megan H

    Thank you Claire. I see how big of a role academics play in perpetuating certain myths of American history, and also how academics can play a role in revealing the truths of enslavement, land theft, inequitable appropriation of resources, etc. I hope to be a good troublemaker and be in the 2nd category, more so all the time.

  123. Alexis Avatar
    Alexis

    As a white woman I’ve wrecked havoc by, for example, centering myself when talking to fellow white people about their racism. I wasn’t calm or had my emotions check. So I couldn’t really talk about unlearning racism. That was my pattern, and it did not work. So what does work? Having resources and using them.

  124. Nichole Avatar

    Learning about the 1619 project was definitely a pulling-back of the curtain, into a perspective that makes more sense than what we’ve been fed all these years by “standard” history books. Hearing about this richer, more textured history was eye-opening; much like thinking of plantations in a more accurate description akin to the barracks at Auschwitz than romantic wedding venues.

  125. Maureen Smitj Avatar
    Maureen Smitj

    Claire, you sound amazing. I look forward to getting to know you better. I want to be part of the good trouble you are talking about, and I don’t want to cause harm. I look to you and Lace and others here to be my teachers.

  126. Kathy Kratchmer Avatar
    Kathy Kratchmer

    I appreciate every word of this and share the same goals.

    I want to grow increasingly safe to Black
    People, a soft place to stand, and less safe, less comfy for white people expressing racism.

    Thanks for your work here—and btw, I love your picture with the orange.

  127. Andrea Avatar
    Andrea

    Oh Claire, how you inspire me!
    I want some of that good trouble too!
    💖

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