Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

These last five days have an eerily familiar hue. This time a year ago, I was laid up at Kaiser for an infection.

Well, considering that, this week is a cakewalk. Just a really bad cold. Bad enough to sequester me to the living room, with Tikka Rose a very willing attendant.

So. You can imagine that I have had a lot of time to ponder and cogitate. I have. Only this evening have I stopped shivering and sneezing enough to type. Turns out, shaky fingers are not conducive to cogent sentences. Who knew?

But thinking, yes. This time last year, I was in a room, a nice private one, with a 72 inch TV from which I could order Jello and extra blankets and fall asleep in the middle of movies. I thought I was getting VIP treatment, but actually, not so much. In truth, I was such an infection risk that I was in a sort of semi quarantine.

I was in much worse shape than I had thought. Something I didn’t find out about till later, when I was finally discharged. It was sobering indeed to know just how close to the wire I actually was.

I remember writing a piece in the hospital; somewhere on the Page is a picture of me in a hospital gown on the terrace when they let me out of lockdown. The sweet taste of freedom is me on a unremarkable deck overlooking the parking structure. No view was sweeter. That is where I took the picture.

I remember asking the Universe for one more year. Just one more year. There was so much I wanted to share, so much I wanted to learn myself. So much community to make. So many needles to move.

And I got it. Today marks a full year. That I am still here, still writing, still engaging, still sneezing (though that can stop anytime now). I cannot believe all we have done together. Actually I can believe it. To those of you who pushed themselves, you are seen. To my amazing staff, so appreciated. To Tikka Rose, irreplaceable. And even to me! Kind Candor trumps coughing and congestion!

And I am greedy. I want more time. So much more time. These last few days have forced me to slow down, so I can double down.

Walk with me. Walk with me. Remember hand sanitizer.

This bug is a bitch.