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Last week as we were onboarding so many new members we encouraged everyone “young and old” to read or reread the Lace on Race community guidelines. Christin Spoolstra saw something on a reread that we need to discuss as a community.
Christin Spoostra “Reread again. This time the very first line smacked me in the face: we – *I* – pushed you into having guidelines in the first place. The ethos of the group *should* be shining through making guidelines irrelevant. But I still require spoon feeding. I still require step by step instructions to get my cookies at each benchmark. Not only did we push you into creating guidelines, but we aren’t even respecting them as a group. I’m sorry.”
The opening line of the Guidelines says “For a long time, we have resisted formal guidelines for Lace on Race, the assumption being that people would enter this space, and the ethos and mission would be clear and compelling enough to make a list of rules unnecessary.”
I’d like to ask everyone to think about how they behave when they enter new spaces. Not spaces like Walmart, where we all know the basic “no shirt, no shoes, no service” type rules ~ but new spaces like going into a friend or acquaintance’s home for the first time. Do they remove their shoes by the door? Is the norm actually to keep your shoes on (like in the South – HARD for me (Danielle) to get used to and I still don’t do it in my own home). If you aren’t sure, then what do you do? Do you ask? Or observe? Or do you walk in and start telling them how they could make their home more efficient and comfortable for you?
Pivoting to race: When you walk into social justice spaces, do you watch or ask for guidelines? Do you jump in with your own corrections and observations? Does it really matter whether the space is public or private – as in, is a private room required before you can respect the “house rules”?
What are your practices now? And once you articulate those, how could your current habits become a best practice? Looking forward to a rousing conversation with you all!
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