Facebook Publication Date: 43961.378472222

***ABSOLUTELY REQUIRED READING FOR EVERYONE.***
***ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS***
***ABSOLUTELY NO REACTS***

I am going deep on a friend’s personal page; about two day’s worth. The lessons are worth sharing, but I wonder if you all are ready for it, both because of an influx of new community walkers, and, yes, the intermittency and lack of reliable walking from all too many of you.

So, to that end, I am *mandating* that everyone here, new and seasoned alike, actually read the Guidelines which will make a discussion like this more safe-ish.

Here is the truth.

On hard topics, there is always more volatile behavior. People are triggered, activated, and challenged/confronted with stuff they don’t like, and they either don’t yet have the tools, or have resisted using the tools in the pinned posts so they can better manage their bucket slosh (if you’re new, find out what that is; it’s there in pinned posts) and reactivity.

Beloveds: I want to go faster and deeper, but I can’t do it when you are insisting on staying at pre-primer levels. And are resisting using and internalizing what has been in front of you for the last two years.

Difficult topics bring all the pus to the surface. It’s enough of a risk to present them to you, knowing that a significant portion will either blow up, shut down or run away. So I need as many of you as possible to be able to have, and model to others, affect regulation, tolerance of discomfort, and also to be able to minimize your defenses, and commit to not acting out.

So, today, a new idea. Every week, I am going to re-run and review the Guidelines and Onboarding, either in their entirety like today, or featuring one bullet point on which to focus.

I want each of you to visit, or revisit, them and comment that you have. The twist is that I want you to pull something from the text and say something about it. I also want you to respond to a minimum of two community members.

Y’all need to step it up. New members, you need to get up to speed, with depth and understanding, Intermittent walkers, you need to pee or get off the pot. It’s that very intermittency that stalls and truncates and sabotages group progress.

Seasoned walkers, I expect more, you need to truly model the behavior I am exhorting everyone to by commenting, and doing some of the work of deeper and meaningful engagement with others; the staff cannot do it alone, and at this point you should be able to flex your new found muscles and begin to use them in service to community.

Sustainer Circle, I expect still more. It’s part of your agreed to praxis to show leadership and mentoring. You can start by being a strong presence in this thread.

I am so excited for all the new members! And for seasoned walkers! And for Sustainers!

And, even though it might feel like you’re getting spanked a little, I am grateful for intermittent walkers too. I want to see you shore up your practice so you can walk with resilient, reliable, relentless faithfulness. Some of the most committed and durable community members were once right where you are now; I won’t call them out, but I hope some of them will share their own stories of growth and growing up in this work here.

I love you all. Let’s keep walking, both picking up the pace a little, even as we leave not one walker behind.

With love and resolve,

Your Lace

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