Facebook Publication Date: 10/22/2019 15:10

Lace on Race
Relational Ethics
Living in the Photo Negative

I am always hesitant to frame things purely in the negative.

Sometimes though, it’s both necessary and appropriate.

As we go farther into our walk together here, we need to not just choose to walk together, but we need to all choose to walk together well.

Usually I try to stay on the positive side–this is how one walks with reliable resilience, this is how one truly meets the Other, this is how to live out hard won conviction.

But.

Sometimes negative examples have their place. There is a kindness in being shown where lay potholes, or brambles, or oil slicks.

So, for these reasons, I do want to talk about what *not* to do in service to racial justice, here in Lace on Race, to be sure, but also in your offline lives.

We’ve talked about the Five Losing Strategies, originated by Terry Real, and adapted by us in regards to doing racial justice work well and effictively. We are going to tackle them this week!

The Five Losing Strategies are both insidious and subtle. As we go through them, we will be surprised at how often we deploy them, not just in social justice spaces, but also in other environments–I myself am struck at how easily I can lean into them before I right my ship. We will take a look at them one at a time this week, but for now I want you to encounter them as a whole and ponder them before we start with number one.

The process will be simple enough; I will start with Terry’s examples and then pivot to my own perspective as regards to race and how we do or do not relate with each other in health wholeness and parity.

So, without further ado:

Here they are, the Five Losing Strategies:

–Being Right
–Needing to Control
–Retaliation
–Unbridled Self-Expression
–Withdrawal

I invite you to two exercises:

One, to think about these behaviors as you remember the last weeks with Joanne, Wendy, and Katy. Which strategies did you see being employed?

Next, locate yourself. I am not going to ask ‘if’–because we all have devolved into these behaviors–but I am going to ask when and how and why. You can start in areas that do not directly touch on race, but then I do indeed want you to pivot on how these strategies inform your walk.

This exercise is for *everyone*–not just the cohort that does all the talking. All of us need this in order to walk with intention and integrity.

I look forward to your responses, especially from those who don’t usually comment.

These last weeks will not be in vain. We have a lot to learn. This is just the beginning.

Let’s go!

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