Facebook Publication Date: 10/14/2019 19:10

Breaking this out from the post about creating anti racist families:

What was said I agree with on its face.

It’s vital that we teach modes of speech, basic human decency uniformly applied, and all the rest.

This is, so often, where white people begin and end.

It’s important, yes. Left to itself though, it’s woefully incomplete.

As always, the integrity is in the depth.

It’s where you are when you say it (are you living in a segregated neighborhood?) It’s how you live, which children will observe and imitate far more than what you say.

This brings up an important part of racial justice work and how it is or is not deeply intertwined into your life.

Nowadays people know what to say to avoid been seen as problematic. The talking points have been internalized. What hasn’t been done by most white people is a deep dive into their inner lives and outward praxis. Kids see that.

Here is a sobering thought. You will never be able to bring your children up to be ‘not racist’. You can bring them up with a thirst for racial justice, and with a conviction to eschew the optics and the talking points to instead live their lives constantly and consciously pushing back against the racist soup they’re in.

That means more than teaching them not to say the wrong thing. It means age appropriate dialog with them about privilege, about power, and about resilience and faithfulness around racial justice. It means that their decisions matter, and that their agency to make desicions about who they will ultimately be is a muscle to be cultivated.

As you no doubt saw last week, the optics and the talking points will only take you so far. If they are not seeing black people in parity with you, and even leadership over you, if they are not seeing you having authentic relationships, if you are not (again, age appropriately) showing them your own missteps and how you do or do not right the ship when you fall short of your ideals, you will inadvertently teach them that it is enough to only *appear* anti racist.

What I am describing is a harder road, and it has at least as much to do with how you live and navigate the world than what you tell them.

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