Facebook Publication Date: 6/15/2019 22:06

When A Query Is A Weapon

A response to a woman on another thread, who insisted upon her ‘right’ to ask people of color in general what their racial mix was, and doubled down on her choice to do so:

There is no question of my racial makeup, but an interesting phenomenon occurs with me during interactions with some wipipo; they think of it as a complement, but nope.

It’s this: after people spend time with me, they ask me where I’m from. Partly because of code switching, but also because they are having a positive interaction, and i am coming off as smart, or engaging or whatever: they can’t believe that they are having what they score as an interaction with a fully human person.

Because they can’t conceive of a world where American Black people are fully human.

They will try to make me a European transplant, or originating from Africa, or assuming, despite my dark pecan skin that I am of mixed race, because otherwise, WTF, right?

This is deep. It’s not just anti blackness, although that’s certainly there. It’s a very specific enactment of wipipo’s animus toward anyone whose origins include American chattel slavery.

This is a big deal. It’s part of the tension sometimes between various facets of the African diaspora; the internalized racism and the exceptionalism that infects our interactions with each other, all of which is fueled by white supremacy.

When I hear shit like this, I know it’s nothing more or less than divide and conquer. It’s a way of attempting to separate me from my people, with disingenuous praise. It’s an invitation for me align with them in impugning my people. It’s a way of exacting a pound of flesh, even as they ‘affirm’ what they feel have to be ‘better’ parts of me.

I make it a point to make this a very uncomfortable, teachable moment: ‘Nope, I’m just a garden variety colored girl from Arkansas’.

The ‘colored’ is there for a reason. It’s how they really do think of us; I refrain from ‘nigger’ only because that word is so radioactive they won’t be able to fully process.

Forcing them to confront what they feel about the rest when they single me out; making sure they know where i stand and with whom I align, is so important to me.

I won’t play that toxic shitty game.

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