Facebook Publication Date: 9/18/2018 7:09

On Congruence: How Can You Shun A People You Say You Love?

Please read the article embedded in the comments.

The takeaway is unsurprising, but still disheartening.

Nothing we at Lace on Race don’t already know and have written about: disparity in housing, and the subtle, and unconscious bias that often drives it.

What we haven’t talked about, and need to, is the collusion of white people who have no animus towards black people, but have deep aversion to black spaces.

This is one reason doing internal work even as, and sometimes before, we attempt to do authentic external praxis is so very important.

Not doing so neutralizes, even sabotages, pronouncements and actions and initiatives, even good ones.

We have talked about teachers, and social workers and first responders, and medical professionals who live far from the work they do and the people that they serve; we have seen phrases like ‘teaching in a inner city school’ to give a little bump of heroism to white people who dare venture into nonwhite spaces.

Those of us who are brown have seen the clench in the bodies and the fear in the eyes when we tell white people where we live.

Here in San Diego, we know, or white people think they know, what it means to live ‘south of the 94’ or ‘south of the 8’; we know the difference between Golden Hill and South Park; we read the yelp reviews of people praising a cafe or a service but warning their fellow yelpers about the neighborhood, and being careful with their cars in solidly middle class black and brown spaces.

In my own life, I lived in a zip code for almost 20 years; the east side of Adams, Kensington, almost all white, the west side of Adams, more diverse–but only south of Adams. Both places were considered orders of magnitude better than Logan Heights/National City, where I grew up.

So people, particularly white people, clenched and clenched hard when it was time for me to buy and I chose to buy in a space with a significant black and brown presence.

I didn’t have the words to articulate it then, but I do now. It was hurtful, having white people feel I was taking a step down. It was inaccurate as well–and 18 years later, white people have seen the value of North Encanto and are claiming spaces that many, but by no means all, white people abandoned 50 years ago.

And, with that, comes the attendant amenities and services that this community hadn’t had since the Cold War.

I am going to not ask this question at all, but will say it plainly. If you are white you most probably live in a segregated space.

If you are non white you probably do too.

But the reasons for both are radically different.

But even as we talk about housing, we have to look at the larger picture–again, how do we square our convictions with our choices? It goes both ways. White people shunning brown and black spaces; brown and black people, once they have a couple nickels to rub together, choosing to live with the tension, and sometimes overt hostility, of moving to white spaces, only to have white people rethink their housing choices and flee.

Ray Suarez in his book ‘The Old Neighborhood’ says the magic number is 20%–the percentage of ‘unapproved’ brown and black people (not South Asian or East Asian, but sometimes (at least here in San Diego) Southeast Asian and Filipino), Not Middle Eastern; often not African born; but the garden variety Latinx and black people that we have been born to fear and loathe since birth.

We posed this question of housing choice in Lace on Race a few months ago; there was and is a hard clench; it’s a deep moat-sized line drawn that’s intractable. It might be apologized for, but never moved away from.

This is notable, because, by design, Lace on Race is not a ‘Antiracism 101’ space; those who choose to engage with our community are outliers; most have years of justice work under their belts; most have a considered thoughtful praxis–that ends at the zip code and precinct level. This has grave implications both politically, economically, and socially.

This is a big deal. There is no way it can *not* affect internal attitudes, however unconscious; but it must be remembered that housing is a choice. Not knowing where places are in your community that would allow you to live safely and in alignment with your values is also a choice. Not challenging your realtor or rental agent when they give you choices based on your exterior demographics and not your convictions is a big deal.

Like a straight looking person has to ‘out’ themselves as queer, lest they be mistaken for dominant culture on a daily, sometimes hourly basis, white people who want to live their convictions must take on that mantle daily, and not in traditionally racial justice spaces, on or offline, but in the granular minutiae of their lives.

Because the default is that *you do not want to live intentionally* as a racial justice compatriot. The default is that you will stand in the middle of the curve as it relates to white people–*and the middle of the curve will always default to white supremacy and racism*.

Do you have to know the history of the neighborhood, of the freeway system and the politics of offramps (literal and metaphorical) the social engineering and loopholes and mealy mouthed debate around and of school systems, the racism embedded in the insurance industry, before you can find a nice 3 bedroom with a fireplace and a decent kitchen?

Welp.

Yes. IF you care as much as you say you do.

This is why internal work is so very important; it is crucial to know the ‘why’ of our choices and of our behaviors; it is crucial to know, because you are teaching your children your choices, you are broadcasting to your colleagues your choices, you are enhancing or sabotaging your hard won convictions and stances.

What does this look like for you? When you read the article embedded in comments, what is your gut response?

Is it possible to love a people and still, through somewhat socially dictated but still conscious choices, work to undermine and dishonor them.

It might be that loving in the aggregate means living in the aggregate. What are other carveouts you might use to neuter your stated convictions?

At what point do they stop being convictions?

Would love to hear from *Everyone*. Personal reflections–so long as they are not self-indulgent deflections; where the clench lies–both for white and for people of color; the difference in your mind between revitalization and gentrification and acknowledgement of the humanity already there in spaces that change–one way or another?

Do you feel this impacts who you are, what you do, how you live, your integration and congruence as a person who says they walk a path that demands the same?

And as always, The Ask

Supporting women of color who are bringing your commentary, analysis, and query you will not see elsewhere is absolutely part of your praxis; not adjunctive, not conditional. Consuming work bears a response.

To continue this work we need your support and engagement, both materially and socially

Support the community of Lace on Race as we head into the elections and beyond.

facebook.com/laceonrace

paypal.me/mennolacie

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