Facebook Publication Date: 5/1/2018 8:05
Lace on Race–The May Day Post
Let’s Respect The Labor Of Black Women
Hello all.
Here we are, at the beginning of the fourth month of Lace on Race.
As always, my thanks for your ears and eyes. We at Lace on Race hope we have provided value for you, and for the wider readership on the issue of race, ethics and praxis.
This last month has been amazing. Lace on Race was able to present at the Praxis in Education conference, bringing our message and our prescription for what effective, authentic and sustainable practice and interior work looks like to do this work well and with intention. We have been invited to speak with the founders of the conference. It’s exciting; our work is being seen and affirmed.
We have also been doing work outside the confines of Lace on Race; most recently responding to public figures who need what we offer in order to make their own offerings more in alignment with their intentions.
With all of it, writing, speaking, researching (I have no fewer than 5 series in the works), writing curriculum, I have all of you in mind.
I want to do you proud. I want this to be sustainable. Every day I do this work, I am made aware of how much more there is to do.
I thank you all for your affirmation; your likes, your hearts your shares, your private messages, all of which I answer, all of which I value and honor.
We have done so much, and I will continue to do this work for as long as I can afford to do so.
Even though I had said I would be doing a weekly invitation to you all, I have hesitated to do so, because of pushback. It is discouraging and more than a little gaslighting to have people value me with clicks, but not choose to insure that this work continues.
More and more, I am seeing this as a political act, as well as an act of self valuing–and in telling myself the truth about how this work is–or is not–valued in and of itself.
We are over 2200 strong, in less than four months. Again, my thanks. What that means in stark terms though, is that we have about 100 people who have contributed the health and longevity of this space at least once, with about another 20 who have become sustainers, because they believe in this work–and believe in me. I hope my work, both interior and tangible have been adequate to show my deep thanks.
The fact is, I need your support. For a few reasons. One, this work is, indeed, work. I chose this work. I am blessed to be able to do it.
This is also true. Doing this work, in addition to my job means I cannot do other work. And it actually costs me to come to you. If you are seeing this, assume that I paid for you to do so. When you choose to like or follow me, you are now available to me to reach you–if I pay to do so. Because of the nature of our topic–race–Lace on Race is suppressed.
But the reason, the largest reason for our purposes here, is because it is a lesson I have not been able to make inroads in having the bulk of you acknowledge and internalize–
And that is that one values what one pays for.
Like there are no ‘cheap seats’ here, there are also no lurkers, no spectators. As you have chosen to be part of the community of Lace on Race, I make assumptions about you. I assume that you are here for the long haul; that you are making movement, however small or halting to being the kind of true ‘ride or die’ collaborator and co-conspirator that can be relied upon, that you have skin in the game and are willing to do more than say amen and go back to your ‘real life’.
Put another way, I assume that you are here, not to hoover up ‘ally points’; not to consume without regard to the mission and ethos–or the people who bring this to you, that you align enough to do the work outside in your own lives. One values what one pays for–and I have really struggled with the dissonance of the last three months; success in numbers, even amidst struggle.
In the forum I have spent the bulk of the last 24 hours, the issue of paying black women for their labor in educating has been an issue. Women praising effusively, wanting links, resources, pm’s and the like, but being offended when confronted with the suggestion that the work they are demanding and consuming comes at a cost. Regarding that, I said:
‘It wouldn’t be free labor if you honored her enough to pay her. White women seem to think that accolades and hearts are enough to honor us, but they’re not used to ever honoring us with anything tangible. That’s a legacy of slave days. It’s becoming very tiring seeing white women thank us with nothing to back it up. You value what you pay for.’
Y’all, I cannot be afraid to ask you to contribute to a community you selected into. Most of you are brand new; less than 10 percent of people here knew me from before Lace on Race.
We are contending with historical and cultural obstacles. It is a new thing to be asked to contribute in a reliable way to what is ostensibly a ‘free’ space–that’s true of any page or website. There is also the overlay of race. Bluntly stated, people are not used to valuing black women with economic symbols of respect.
Yes, that means money. We are expected to give wisdom and knowledge. But because that knowledge and wisdom come from vessels that have been dishonored and devalued, it requires a mighty shift to feel that vessel deserves tangible symbols of respect–because we have been socialized to disrespect black women.
Part of being here is a practice in accepting the leadership and the direction of black women–something 99% of you have never had to do in any real way. Ever.
Part of my asking you to flex these unused muscles is part of learning how to do exactly this. In the quest to become true ride or die reliable and resilient partners, I am asking you to be a tangible part of this community. I am also asking you, via dimes, envelopes and the like to be reflexive and without clench.
If we as black women can’t trust you to part with a small sum of money for a service you already received, and know you will receive more of, how can we trust you to stand in the gap at a Starbucks, or a Waffle House? Or in the workplace? Or in your families?
This as well–I need to be able to come to you once a month for a somewhat substantial appeal, and then weekly for reminders without clenching myself. It has been inhibiting to my writing and my mentorship and leadership in this space; wondering if I will lose you if I dare ask. Wondering if the nice white people will doubt my character and take the closest offramp.
Community, this cannot happen. I think of each of you when I write. But I cannot worry about you. I need to write freely. Which is why having sustainers is so important. Not everything will touch you. Some of what I write may well challenge you to the point of anger. If I am doing my job well, I will activate and trigger you.
That is why you are here. And this space will still be worthy of your support, specifically because of this very thing.
I have been alluding to this for months. Not very many of you ‘got it’.
So I am hitting it hard today. If you value this space enough for it to continue, live the values I have been attempting to teach you. We need you, I need you, to fully support this community.
Other pages give a specific dollar amount. I will not. This space will stay ‘free’. But candor: I know that there are more than 5% of you who have the resources to support this space. I need you to step up. Either as an ‘as you feel led’, or, better, as sustainers.
With the 2200 of you LoR has proven to be a reliable resource. I need the same of you.
Community, that means support. This work cannot continue without it. Partner with me to be able to do even more good work. I need at least a tenth of you to choose to walk with me in a tangible way. And I need you to not scroll away, or leave it to someone else. Yes, I mean very specifically, I need you.
Please click the button above. If you would like to be a sustainer, and receive the newsletter, and the transcript of my remarks from last week, let me know in the comments below and I will ad you in. Because of the ethos of this space, there is no minimum required to become a sustainer. But you do get buy in, and the satisfaction and affirmation of supporting work that is making a difference in education, in sociopolitical spaces, and in the larger community in only three months.
With your help we could do so much more.
Community, for the first time in months, I am asking you, very candidly and directly, to walk with me.
Thank you.
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